Iced: A Story Ripped From the Nooz

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I know that many of you think of the Panda Chronicles as a safe haven. Oh sure, we make fun of Mittens and his evil spawn and minions, but with times being what they are, sometimes the most troubling nooz stories won’t stray from our thoughts.

I know that some of you might have a hard time with this story. I’m not sure where it goes and I will do my best to give it a happy ending, unlike so of many of the stories we are hearing about, not to mention the ones that are not as high profile so as to get a lot of coverage.

The Mittenv2.0 regime claimed (a lie, we know) that he was only going to deport the most hardened criminals. But that is not what is happening. People who are neighbors. People who are co-workers. People who have built lives and families and businesses are among those who are getting swept up in this cruel version of The Hunger Games.

We now present…

This story started forming in my head a few weeks ago, and it wouldn’t go away. We need to not look away from this humanitarian crisis within our own borders.

Be the Bear
Bob T protector of Ping Panda

Nixon’s Ghost Returns!

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Have you ever noticed how little difference there is between “gift” and “g(r)ift?”

Nixon’s Ghost makes another appearance as an official guest correspondent on the ZooNooZ panel! Who needs 60 Minutes when you have ZooNooZ?

It’s been quite the week, hasn’t it? Call or email your reps, watch some panda videos, (Binky Li and Queen Bee have been romping up a storm in DC. At least something good is happening there) and then go outside!

I’m listening to Taylor Swift and The Boss, because they are both hot as hell and they are much better to chair dance to than the whining coming out of the WH from F45v2.0.

Be the Bear!
Bob T winning not whining Panda

A Pope by Any Other Name…

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Bob T couldn’t help but be excited that the new Pope’s name was Bob. He…um….doesn’t understand the whole Pope naming thing. I wonder if he’ll have a hard time visiting the US, given that his name of his passport won’t match the one on his birth certificate.

Still hanging in there!

Be the Bear
Bob T the infallible Panda

What Happens When You Put a Con Artist in the WH?

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I am taking advantage of both my last minute hustle getting ready for an upcoming art show* and my vast archive of Panda ‘toons, especially those dealing with Mittens’ malfeasance when it comes to making bank out of the Oval Office.

  • It is a myth that artists can paint up until the last minute before an art show. There is photography and much, much paperwork that needs to be done in advance of delivering the work, let alone the opening of the show. You can read about some of this here! plus, see some of the art that will be in the show.

Anyway, Here We Go! The Mercenary Malfeasance of Mittens!

Are all these paper clips mine?
Hey! Why are you making another character of questionable ethics a CAT???
“Be yourself – Everyone else is already taken” -Oscar Wilde
Clear as mud!

Fear not! I’ll be back with some new ‘toons next week!

Be the Bear
Bob T is trying not to stress out Panda

Where are You Now? How About NOW?

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Every day brings a new atrocity, a new incursion against integrity, against propriety, against the country, against the Constitution. Firing of the Librarian of Congress. Another fighter jet sliding into the sea. Another day of chaos at another airport.

The list goes on and on and on.

Now Elmo’s goon squad sent another email demanding daily accounting of where all the federal employees are working from.

Surely you don’t think the zoo is exempt, do you?

That QB is quite the corker, isn’t she? Queen Bee indeed!

Be the Bear!
Bob T down with flying monkeys Panda

Spring Is Here and I’m as Busy as a Bee

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Good intentions…blah blah blah…where does the time go…yadda yadda yadda… But every day I don’t get a new ‘toon done, it’s an opportunity to dig into the archives.

Hot on the news of Judge Box-o-Wine being the latest inappropriate pick for one of Mitten’s DoJ posts, I think we need something light and funny, as I think all our pulses are up, our sleep is down, and there aren’t enough cuppycakes to ease our anxiety.

Let’s see now…

I think I may have discovered the origin story for why Canada is not pleased with us…

Bubba: but why should I be in trubble?
I’ll talk! I’ll talk!
Pinky and the Twinkies, eh?
“If Pinky is grounded, can I have her dessert?”
uh oh…
Um…I think Pinky has Daddee wrapped around her fuzzy little paw. Just saying.
Ooooh! Did Daddee actually yell at Pinky?
What do you mean you left a note saying they are at my house?
Bubba is having so much fun with his new friends!
Hey! Where did Bubba and Mr. Bun go?

Of course, there must be an epilogue…

There may be political concussions!

I know I feel a little better after reading this story. I’m not sure it’s a good thing that Pinky’s fibs now sound less preposterous than the lies told by FF45 2.0. I hope you enjoyed this Encore Presentation from 2016. We need all the laughs we can get, don’t you think?

Be the Bear
Bob T paws across the border Panda

More Bears Behaving Badly at Lake Tahoe

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I wasn’t sure if I’d get this done for today, but here we are!

Bears are continuing to behave badly in the Lake Tahoe area (Henrietta says it wasn’t her!) Alert reader Linda L spotted this NooZ story about a bear named Cinnamon (allegedly) who (allegedly) stole a 3 gallon tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream from a local shop (allegedly).

“I don’t know what the fuss is all about,” said former Tahoe resident Henrietta the Tank from her new address in Colorado at a luxury “residential facility”. “It’s not like they can’t make more ice cream. Honestly! Nobody wants to share any more!.”

We all scream for democracy…um…I mean ice cream

Be the Bear
Bob T make mine a triple scoop Panda

More Animal Tails From Down Under: Fifi of the Outback

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I can’t remember where I first came across this story, but even if it hadn’t crossed my screen spontaneously, at least 3 of my friends shared it “HEY HAVE YOU SEEN THIS????”

Of course this brings to mind another connection and one of my comics inspirations, the one, the only Dr. Lynda J Barry, one of the best cartoonists still writing and drawing today. If you’ve never read her ‘toons, what the hell are you waiting for? She has multiple books out, going back more than 40 years. She also received an honorary doctorate from my Alma Mater, University of the Arts. I hope the school going t*ts up didn’t invalidate her genius. (She also got a MacArthur Genius grant, BTW)

Pay particular attention to her classic Poodle With a Mohawk, which inspired ZooNooz’s special guest’s demeanor.

I thought we needed a bit of silliness to get us through the end of the week.

Happy May Day! Rabbit Rabbit!

Be the Bear
Bob T wake me when he’s gone Panda

More Animal Stories From Down Under

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Why is it that many of our animal tales come from Australia? Is it because they have more things that can kill you? Or maybe they have lots of cute animals, like koalas that would rather bite you than be kootchie-kooed under the chin?

Today’s tail (ha ha see what I did there?) comes from one of our alert readers, Barbara Bee. From the picture shared, it appears that Australian possums are much cuter than American ones.

Oh, possum, I identify with you!

I mean….who wouldn’t want to eat so many pastries you passed out? No? Just me?

Be the Bear
Bob T sorry we were late today…not that kind of “late” Panda