Today, our nation’s number one panda, Bao Bao responds to her stunning defeat in this years Giant Panda Zoo Awards. The GPZA is a little like the Acadamy Awards, for pandas, so it’s easy to see why little miss Pinky would be so um…shall we say agitated? by her disappointing showing in this year’s voting.
But first, we have a story of sordid deception, tragedy, sugar overload, unfair advantage and death by chocolate, brought to our attention by one of our alert readers, Ms Jayelle of Brooklyn NY, about some hunting practices that IMHO are just the tiniest bit unfair, not to mention not very sporting. Now before anyone gets their panties in a knot, let me say I am an unashamed carnivore, or I suppose more accurately, omnivore. I have friends and neighbors who hunt deer and elk and stock their freezers to feed their family for the winter.
I say bravo, and that they are more honest eaters than I am, as the only hunting I do is for what’s on sale at our local grocery store. But this tale, from the bear centric area of New Hampshire smacks of unfairness to me. I mean, who doesn’t know that bears love sweets, and that chocolate can kill your dog if he eats enough of it. So, in the spirit of the Panda Chronicles, (meaning that we make fun of stuff, no matter how serious it actually is) here is our response to this story.
If I have but one life to live, let me give it for a cuppycake.
And now, as promised, Princess Pinky’s first response to the news that she did not win the gold medal in the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, (despite her…um…best efforts)
You might want to cover your ears.
Don’t tell me you’re surprised.
We’ll have more from our recorded coverage of the actual Giant Panda Awards ceremony, coming to you on The Panda Channel, host of Zoonooz, in the weeks to come. Stay tuned so you don’t miss it, or better yet, sign up to get new posts three times a week in your inbox. You can also sign up for our monthly (I swear I am going to get to this really soon) Newsletter. Both sign-ups are at the top of the right hand column on all pages, except for the home page.
Be the bear!
Bob T. Panda
Another great one! I think Bao Bao might need a tranquilizer or 2!! 🙂
Yes, and her mother has requested noise canceling headphones. Glad you like it!
Pinky’s response was not unlike mine. I mean we stuffed the ballot box for the Smithsonian smackdown. Why didn’t it work for the GPZA?
Yeah, I know!!!!! Go figure. Pinky will have more to say on the subject. The Panda Chronicles has received video footage of the actual GPZ Awards, somas soon as we can transcribe the footage, we will see what actually happened.
Squee–I knew you’d do this justice! Pinky’s expression is priceless, too. I wish the pandas would just cart that chocolate stash away from mean ol’ hunters. 🙂
Pinky wants to be sure to get her share of um….everything. If you’d like a signed copy of this carton as your reward for alerting me to this most excellent story, send me your address via the “contact me form” on the “contact us” page. I’m starting a new tradition, to encourage people to send me great story ideas.
Awwwww, she was robbed!
Pinky WAS robbed. I think I can still hear her yelling about the results. I should have some “video footage” from the award ceremony sometime next week so we can see just what went on there.
Pinky, you are still first in my heart, and your Mom and Dad and all the people of Washington D.C. and from Maryland to Maine!
Pinky is, and will always be first in our hearts…well…um…except for Mr. Wu, who was my first baby panda. Pinky is my favorite panda princess, and we will expose the goings on of the GPZA and see just how Pinky’s awards were …um…stolen.
Silver medal? I bet the GPZA jury has manipulated the vote. Je suis désolée :-(((
Otherwise, I love the frightened face of Bob T., especially his ears
We are all in shock. We were sure that Pinky would win all catagories, even ones she wasn’t running in. Stay tuned!
Pinky’s Face!!! Not much more can be said 🙂
As for those bears and chocolates, I think the Panda Kindergarten should have a team of cubbies collecting any chocolate left in the woods. After all, there are chocolate cuppycakes to be baked!
Huzzah! Chocolate!