My very alert friend sent me a video this week about some people who thought they were way more clever than they actually turned out to be. No, it’s not the orange fartwaddle, although these people have just increased their potential of cabinet members…
…just as soon as they take care of their little insurance fraud charges.
Of course, there world be “bears”
So… this time it really wasn’t Frank and Mikey’s fault! Also this story appeared on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. Everyone loves bears!
As you might imagine, I am still reeling from the election debacle. Hard to know how long this is gonna take. But as long as we have bears, maybe there is hope.
You know the story I mean. The story that we are definitely not talking about that involves a hit and run bear, a very strange member of a famous political family, and what they did with that bear.
Nope.
We are not talking about it!!!
We would NEVER leave a bear in Central Park! (Frank: unless it was Josie! Josie: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY???? Mikey: Um…it wasn’t us?)
Be the BEAR! Bob T not THAT bear Panda
Because a story from 2018 recently resurfaced on the inter webs, I thought I’d share this little three part drama with you, for all the New Kids on the Block!
Ooooooo-oooo-oooo-we have food tonight…Here kitty kitty…nice kitty…“We just want to talk!”
Ya know, I thought about doing something about the trial today, and then I thought, “nah…I don’t want to jinx it by assuming you know who would be found GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY,” so instead I planned this nice little ‘toon about Oreo, the Oreo stealing bear, and THEN, what happens at like 5 AM yesterday morning, my text messages start blowing up with nooz of Binky Li coming to Washington DC, so this time procrastinating worked to my advantage, because I could work the arrival of Binky Li and his girl fren into the ‘toon.
So here ya go! I’m pretty sure Nixon’s ghost will pop in next week to gloat over TFG’s 34 COUNT GUILTY VERDICT.
There will be champagne popping and dancing in the streets tonight. Hopefully the gun totting minions of TFG will be kept under control. Be happy and stay safe, panda friends. We have two new sets of bears to welcome later this year!
Once again, one of my faithful readers has come through with a VERY IMPORTANT Nooz story about…
Bears!
Could it be part of a sinister plot, coordinated from afar by Henrietta (or the bear formerly known as Hank), who now lives at a luxury resort for wayward bears? Is there an army of bears going around the towns near Lake Tahoe putting up posters admonishing people NOT to use bear-proof receptacles for their garbage? Maybe leaving a double cheese, double pepperoni pizza on top of the garbage can sometimes?
But seriously, feeding wildlife is a bad idea. Especially bears. Would you want to wake up and have Frank or Mikey looking in your bedroom window, wondering where breakfast was?
In other NooZ, things are heating up in the trials of Mittens. Frank, Bikkie, and Pookie are STILL on their adventure, and I promise I’ll get back to it soon. I’m also doing my Year in Reviewover on Substack so go check it out!
Till later…be the bear! Bob T pass the pizza Panda
Thanks and a Roll of Honor mention to my brother for alerting me to this important story!
Thanks to an especially observant reader, here at Panda Central, we’ve been alerted to another Bear Behaving Badly, HOLIDAY EDITION!
So of course we had to take a time out from out continuing story, to tell the tail!
Not only was this bear behaving badly, I found another instance from a few years ago of another bear behaving like the Grinch! Can’t you just imagine the conversation between the bears?
I can!
Frank: Whoa! look at that deer! He’s YUGE!!!!! I’m gonna take him down! Mikey: um…I don’t think… Frank: No! He looked at me in a threatening manner! This will not stand! Mikey: That’s not a real deer… Frank: CARABUNGA!!!!TAKE THAT!…oh…um… Mikey: I TOLD you…. Frank: also, it wasn’t us.
Check it outand see if you can’t hear them talking…
They just WANT you to believe that the pandas have gone back to China
But we know better, don’t we?
I am going to get back to my other story (The Mister Poppee, Pookie, and Bikkie adventure) sooner or later, but we had to provide some answers about what would happen vis-a-vis the “real world” (as if!) relocation of our pandas to China. I mean, the late Mehitabel is still commanding the NooZ desk at ZooNooZ heading onto 7 years since she departed for other realms, so do you think a little thing like reality is going to dissuade me from pretending the pandas are all still here?
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m still having a hard time coming to terms with the pandas leaving DC. I mean…how do we know that they didn’t double back, go through the secret tunnels Pinky had built, (MX: “WHAT secret tunnels?” Pinky: “um…you must have mis read dat, mommee…”) and are now hanging out in the luxury suite behind the scenes?
I guess we’ll find out soon!
Be the Bear Bob T I know nothing about any secret tunnels Panda
I bet everyone (in panda fandom) is having a day like I am. It’s like the day after you get dumped. You wake up, slowly open your eyes, then think, “why should I get out of bed….ever.”
But of course you have to get out of bed. You need to go to the bathroom. You need coffee. Your mouth feels like a truck with a bad exhaust problem drove through your mouth and parked there with the engine running for 5 hours.
You think…”pandas might be gone, but I still have The Panda Chronicles, right?…RIGHT????”
Why yes you do.
I mean…Pinky still has to run for president next year right? And those cuppycakes aren’t going to eat themselves. There may be a slight disturbance in the force, and we may have to briefly dip into reality (No! Say it isn’t so!) before we go on our merry way, ignoring reality and keeping all the pandas (and other bears) right where they belong.
Here, in Pandyland.
Panda on, Bob T be nice to yourself today Panda
PS: Also the Democrats kicked the GQP’s butts in Tuesday’s elections, so there is that too.
You might have noticed a little radio silence these past couple weeks. I was on a little vacation from the inter webs, as I made my last visit to see our beloved DC panda family. For those of us who live far from DC, the fact that the DC pandas are moving to China is somewhat abstract. I rely on the photos and videos of those who live close by to keep up with all the goings on of Mei Xiang, Tian Tian, and of course, Bikkie.
There have been pandas in DC all of my adult life. I feel lucky to have gotten to see them so many times, even if it is a mere blip of time to those who live within panda proximity. They will be missed mightily. Until we have pandas again, we will have to get by with other bears. I live just far enough away from the Pookies that I don’t get to visit them often, but hope to make another visit or two this fall.
I was inspired by recent news reports to write this ‘toon for Otis, Fat Bear Emeritus of Brooks Falls. No matter what the nooz reports say, Otis is innocent!
The destruction in Acapulco is tragic and terrible, but couldn’t they have found another ‘O’ name for the hurricane?
BTW, in the US, we go back to Daylight losing time, despite the efforts of those who have tried to put us on permanent Daylight Saving Time. Alas…maybe next year. As such, as it is the tradition here at The Panda Chronicles, I rerun my much loved ‘toon:
Fabulous Furry Friday KNOWS that this is one of your favorites!
Be the Bear! Bob T go see the pandas before it’s too late Panda
