Category Archives: Bears behaving badly

The Giant Panda Zoo Awards Part 1

Welcome to the event you have all been waiting for! No, it’s not the Super Bowl, although I have heard that it might be happening sometime soon.* Yes, it’s the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, with your hosts, Babette de Panda, and the actual creator of the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, Jeroen Jacobs. I warned him that I draw pandas much better than I draw people, so if he looks like maybe he might be a panda, I apologize in advance.

Unlike the real world where pandas don’t get much opportunity to socialize with one another, in the world of panda satire and panda stories, pandas really get around a lot. I know, I know, we anthropomorphize pandas and all our pets as well, but heck… why not? Why shouldn’t pandas get to travel and attend award ceremonies? Don’t answer that.

Meanwhile, on with the awards ceremony!

Huzzah!

Introducing Princess Dumpling

We apologize to anyone who is offended by gratuitous panda butt depictions…oh wait…no we don’t.

* Actually, we do know that the Super Bowl is being played today. We even know who is playing!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Tea Time for Pandas

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In our never ending quest to bring culture to the panda kindergarten, Bob decides to introduce them to the quintessential English High Tea, complete with little cucumber sandwiches and…um…cuppycakes. It is tea time for pandas!

The long, dark tea time of the soul….

I think it is time for a little something! I feel rather 11 o’clock-ish.

Just a reminder to stay tuned to this station on your internet dial, as next week we bring you more from the Giant Panda Zoo Awards! Interviews with award winning pandas, as they walk on the red carpet and pass through the velvet ropes, keeping the riff-raff away (and of course, by riff-raff, we mean anyone who isn’t Pinky)

Get ready for a star studded evening as all the nominated pandas strut their stuff for their fans.

Till then, Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Bao Bao Responds to Her Defeat…

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Today, our nation’s number one panda, Bao Bao responds to her stunning defeat in this years Giant Panda Zoo Awards. The GPZA is a little like the Acadamy Awards, for pandas, so it’s easy to see why little miss Pinky would be so um…shall we say agitated? by her disappointing showing in this year’s voting.

But first, we have a story of sordid deception, tragedy, sugar overload, unfair advantage and death by chocolate, brought to our attention by one of our alert readers, Ms Jayelle of Brooklyn NY, about some hunting practices that IMHO are just the tiniest bit unfair, not to mention not very sporting. Now before anyone gets their panties in a knot, let me say I am an unashamed carnivore, or I suppose more accurately, omnivore. I have friends and neighbors who hunt deer and elk and stock their freezers to feed their family for the winter.

I say bravo, and that they are more honest eaters than I am, as the only hunting I do is for what’s on sale at our local grocery store. But this tale, from the bear centric area of New Hampshire smacks of unfairness to me. I mean, who doesn’t know that bears love sweets, and that chocolate can kill your dog if he eats enough of it. So, in the spirit of the Panda Chronicles, (meaning that we make fun of stuff, no matter how serious it actually is) here is our response to this story.

If I have but one life to live, let me give it for a cuppycake.

And now, as promised, Princess Pinky’s first response to the news that she did not win the gold medal in the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, (despite her…um…best efforts)

You might want to cover your ears.

Don’t tell me you’re surprised.

We’ll have more from our recorded coverage of the actual Giant Panda Awards ceremony, coming to you on The Panda Channel, host of Zoonooz, in the weeks to come. Stay tuned so you don’t miss it, or better yet, sign up to get new posts three times a week in your inbox. You can also sign up for our monthly (I swear I am going to get to this really soon) Newsletter. Both sign-ups are at the top of the right hand column on all pages, except for the home page.

Be the bear!
Bob T. Panda

You can bring a bear to culture…

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…but you can’t make them behave themselves.

You know the old saying, you can bring a bear to culture, but you can’t make them learn the ancient rites of the tea ceremony, but that doesn’t stop Bob from trying to bring culture and refinement to the panda kindergarten. I can hardly write that last sentence without snorting and giggling madly. Some how, “culture and refinement” used in the same sentence as “panda kindergarten” invokes the image of merriment and …um…Meihem.

You can lead a bear to culture, but….

Hmmm…Bob will have to call on his inner panda to recover from this learning experience with the panda kindergarten. As you may have noticed, Pinky and the Meihems are now full members in good (or is that bad?) standing in the panda kindergarten. Pinky was a first round draft pick.

I can’t let the Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday go by, without mentioning that it marks my 27th year of creative self employment. While I have had to be even more creative in the last six years in the making a living part, it has been an excellent ride, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. In fact, had the economy not gone sideways, panda satire might never have come into existence! And isn’t that a thought that would keep you up at night?

Keep Being the bear. I couldn’t do it without you.
Bob T. Panda

Pinky’s Snow Day; Part ‘C’

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The liddle pandas have come in and hung up their coats, taken off their boots, and settled in for a little refreshment! What is a snow day without a steaming cup of cocoa?

Meanwhile, all seems to be quiet on the Northwestern front. Progress is being made on another pending project, The Panda Chronicles Cuppycake Cookbook: Favorite Recipes of the Panda Kindergarten. This is a project that has been in the works (between other projects) for a little over a year, with panda and panda satire aficionado Vicky Vladic, who hails from Australia. You can read more about her over at her blog, VSomethingSpeaks.

You might say that this collaboration is a child of the internet, since I have never been to Australia and I’m pretty sure she’s never been to the Pacific Northwest Washington State. We never would have met, let alone have an easy way to work on a project together, were it not for the world wide cyber living room, where you can find just about anything…even pandas! Stay tuned to this here site, if you like pandas and cuppycakes (and let’s face it, who doesn’t like frosting?)

But now, there are some pandas waiting!

Well, they did hang their coats up.

The way of the princess never runs smoothly.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Fabulous, Furry, and Friday

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What could be better? For those of you who are new in these here parts, Friday is the day we…um…relax a little bit and present a few pages from our vast archives of panda satire. But hmmmm…what to post, what to post…..?

Because I’m thinking about cupcakes…..

…because Babette hasn’t appeared lately

because…misery bear!!!!!

Friday is also the day we take the opportunity to remind you that you can have pandas at home…well, not real pandas of course, but the pandas of The Panda Chronicles are ready to step off the screen and into a book that you can hold in your very hands, and your purchase helps to support the art of Panda Satire. Huzzah for you!

For fans of Pandamorphosis, I’d like to remind you that you can find prints of some of the drawings from the book over at The Gratitude gallery of Fine Balance Imaging.

Who could resist pandas in the refrigerator?

Till next week,

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

Pinky’s Snow Day, Part the Second

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After the events of last week in the rest of the world, is it any wonder that we sensitive types retreat to something a little kinder, a little gentler, and a little furrier? I am of course referring to Pinky’s first snow day. The joy of seeing this round, furry panda cub rolling down hills and romping with her mom is just what we needed to keep from crawling under the covers and never coming out. You can watch her on youtube here.

I hope that the violence and unrest that is happening in Paris settles down. The world seems to be going mad around us. We need more….

pandas.

Meihem, not Mayhem.

What could be cuter than pandas in snow suits? Yes, I know I need help.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

31 Days of Pandas presents: A Bear of Little Brain…

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…or is that the city council of Tuszyn, Poland? How can they ban the most beloved bear of all of children’s literature?

Sometimes I can’t make stuff up that is absurd as what I read on the news, and since this information has been reported in more than one media site, I am inclined to believe that this really happened. Poor Pooh Bear…banned from a playground for…um…not wearing any pants. Hello? He’s a BEAR. (not to mention fictional)

Naturally I had to write a comic about it.

The irony of Mehitabel criticizing Pooh Bear for his wardrobe, does not escape me.

I love my job.

Be the Bear! We’ll be back with more of 31 Days of Pandas Tomorrow!

Bob T. Panda

What Does a Panda Wear for Halloween?

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I mean, do they dress up as a red panda? or maybe a tiger? This is serious, people! Pandas need to know what might be the best costume so that people give them the most stuff. Halloween is important to panda culture. who knew?

Princess Pinky really needs to know!

Darn those Meihems!!!!

I do want to mention that I drew this cartoon before I read the Cub Confidential post from Zoo Atlanta suggested that the twins were going to dress up as the other twin. Just saying. The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire has their finger…er…paw on the pulse of the panda community.

And Pinky has asked me to mention that her book is out, and you could just flip really fast through all the cartoons about the Meihems, so that you could just read the ones about Pinky. Hey, I just do what Pinky tells me to. Word to the wise, and all, Pinky must be obeyed.

It’s Pink, but still kinda, um…dangerous!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

It IS all about Pinky, Isn’t It?

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Oh yes, Princess Pinky’s new book Pandapocalypse Now! is now out in the world, and it has got me thinking about all things bookish, as these events tend to do. I recently read a book by one of my favorite bloggers, Allie Brosh, whose book, Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened, was one I have been wanting to read. As you can tell from the title, this is a person whose life does not run especially smoothly.

She turns emotional insecurity and mental distress into an art form, and while I wish her a life with a lot less pain than she has had, we wouldn’t get to read her outrageously funny take on life, her dogs, and…um…cake. Especially the story about cake. Check it out! “Darkly comic” is an understatement. Her drawings are simple and a little funky, but they perfectly capture the emotional angst of her existence. She hooks you in from the first story, and doesn’t let go.

But meanwhile, Princess Pinky has a few things to say about HER book…oh yeah, and there might be one or two other pandas in it.

“Oh yeah…dere MIGHT be one or two other pandas in it, but I can’t remember who.”

Pandapocalypse Now! Is here! Tell your friends!

It’s Pink, but still kinda, um…dangerous!

Just in case you weren’t paying attention!

Stay tuned for the return of Inspector Panda this week.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda