Category Archives: Mittens

No One Expects the Panda Kindergarten!

Certainly not the Arizona GQP!

It’s not an audit, it’s a “Fraudit”!!!!!

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!?!?!?!?!?!

It’s getting harder to keep the faith, but keep the faith we must! Meanwhile, I’m sure things are getting sorted out at the Panda House…is PPJ real, or a collective figment of everyone’s imagination, what with Pinky being a teenager still and living at home with her family.

31 Days of Pandas: Day 12

Once again, we have a smidge of hope, as those bad boys and girls in black over at The Supremes smacked down the suit by the Texas AG, which thought that since they didn’t like the voting results in PA, WI, MI, & GA, that they should get to call the entire states votes invalid and appoint Mittens Electors, neener, neener, neener!

Yeah…no…it doesn’t work that way. 

Oh tidings of treason and greed. Sad that 3 years later this ‘toon is still even more accurate.

Let’s have some more memories from the Mittens Reign of Terror…

Clear as mud!

alternative facts

Hey! Why are you making another character of questionable ethics a CAT???

How many people noticed their language got a bit saltier over the last 4 years?

Well *bleep* and take your *bleep* and stick it *bleep*!!!!

Is there no end to our misery?

Panda ON!!!
Bob T Panda

31 Days of Pandas: Day 6 PARDON MEEEEEE

Way back when, we predicted Pardon Palooza and wouldn’t you know, now it is coming to pass!

Meanwhile, Frank and Mikey are going through the marshymallows like they’re going out of style, because Mikey’s keep bursting into flames over the dumpster fire. The dumpster fire is heating way up too, as Mittens cannot believe he didn’t win, or at least that’s what he says. Meanwhile, he’s raking in cash from mostly small dollar donors, who might do well to put those $10 and $25 contributions away to buy stuff from the hospital gift store when they go in for COVID 19 after they attend another one of his super spreader events.

But hey! What about those Sunday ‘toons you promised?

I’m sure they are all innocent, just like Mittens!

Did we not say he’d be selling pardons back in March? We even had Impeachment on the calendar back in 2019!

Made by the same highly scientific company as the Cute-o-Meter!

It’s been a long time coming. Hope he’ll be a looooong time gone!

I can totally see you know who doing this.

What did Mr. Bun Know and when did he know it?

Tune in tomorrow when we begin a rebroadcast of 101 Baby Pandas! Introducing Bebe Maurice, and starring Inspector Panda, Mr Wu, and Babette de Panda, International panda of Mystery!

Be the bear!
Bob T Panda

A Very Mittens Fourth of July

I really do hope that all the non-Mittens-sycophants stay home from the “president’s” taxpayer and high donor funded rally today. I hope that the photos show a totally empty DC outside of his VIP area. As Karl, the waiter in Casablanca, said when Rick asked where he was seating the Nazis, he replied, “I gave them the best table, knowing they would take it anyway.”

And so HWMNBN declares that “no one ever celebrated the 4th of July before I became “president”.” And cordoned off the best viewing spot for the fireworks for a VIP area for his supporters….and do you suppose he will turn this into a political rally for himself and bashing of the Democratic candidates?

So, let’s have some pandas before I start weeping in despair. Is our independence near? Who knows?

*snorf*

And while you are ignoring all the shenanigans taking place in DC, and you’ve eaten all the backyard cookout goodies you can stand, head over to Put a Panda on it 3.0: The Mr Wu Pins and sign up! You’ll be glad you did!

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

The Scandals Keep Mounting…

Will we ever see the end of this? Voter suppression, lies from what should be trusted government spokespersons, feeding and ramping up the fears of the American public.

But where traumas and tribulations are rampant, pandas ride in to save the day. With humor, at least. That’s something, isn’t it?

Before we get to today’s ‘toon, I want to tell you about a little project I have in mind. A couple years ago, Kickstarter came up with a concept for small projects for the month of January. The idea is that you create a project with rewards limited to 100 “things”, so there is only 1 reward level.

I’ve been thinking about this for a year, and doing some sketches.  There have been some great enameled pins being designed by artists, and I think a series of Panda Chronicles pins would be a great addition to the pins that are now available. Depending on the response for this pin, I can do additional projects with additional images. I

I bet you want to know what the pin will look like…

Of course, Pinky demanded to be on the first pin. Proposed size, approximately 1 inch high by 3/4 inch wide.

Please feel free to share your comments, let me know if this is something you might be interested in. I’m working now on setting up the project over on Kickstarter, and plan to go live around the middle of January, with a 2 week funding period. (not much time, I know!) More information will follow soon!

Meanwhile, here are Tuesday’s pandas!

Is there no end to our misery? The chill of voter suppression can’t be alleviated by putting on a sweater!

Panda on, Panda on!
Bob T Panda

Mittens Diplomacy

Remember when Mittens went to the G7 meeting and wowed all our nation’s allies with his wisdom and willingness to work together for the good of democracy?

Yeah…me neither.

And then when he went on to England and charmed the Queen with his impeccable manners and deep knowledge of Royal Protocol?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yep, that old Mittens…he’s SUCH a charmer!

PANDA ON!
Bob T Panda

Are You Talking to Me?

Why, yes, I am! While we continue to marvel at the level of dysfunction that is emanating from You Know Who and out of our nation’s capitol, isn’t it reassuring to know that panda satire is alive and well?

Before we get to today’s celebration of cats behaving badly (as opposed to bears behaving badly) let’s get some shameless promotion out of the way. As of now, all the Panda Chronicles books are now available as ebooks.  While personally, I am more of a print book person myself, ebooks are a way you can ALWAYS have Pinky, Bubba, and the rest of the gang (don’t forget WU!) with you all the time, wherever you go.

As an added bonus, if you’ve already gotten the books from Amazon, you can get the ebooks for only $1.99 each! (this only applies to Amazon sales. If you bought it directly from me, this does not apply.) A sweet deal, to say the least!  Through the end of the year, all the ebooks (if you haven’t bought the print books already) are $3.99, so if you’ve been holding off getting the print editions because acorns are scarce on the ground or your book cases are full (we know how that goes) here’s an opportunity to have some panda fun and support panda satire! I’ll be raising the prices a bit in January, just so you know!

You can visit my Book Table page for the direct links to the ebooks! Thanks for supporting Panda Satire!

And now, on with today’s feature presentation!

Lock that cat up, for crying out loud!

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

If Only We Could Forget Reality

Wouldn’t it be nice to forget reality for even one day?

Well, what the heck do you think we were doing on Friday with all those ‘toons of adorable panda twins? I mean, while we were getting all schmoopy when we saw how nice the Meihems are to their little sisters, He Who Must Not Be Named was playing footsie with the head of N. Korea’s cyber warfare department. Probably showing him how clever all his passwords are and how easy it was to avoid the intelligence departments.

And I’m pretty sure he hasn’t forgotten about his military parade…

reality

Do we HAVE to go?

Oh…don’t forget to watch out for those sinkholes…

Pandaing On (through the tears for our failing way of life)
Bob T Panda