Category Archives: Pandas for President!

Here Comes Mittens

Oh yeah. Mittens the Cat is back and as I previously might have mentioned, once or twice, it is really hard to make stuff up when the stuff you read on the news is already so absurd. As the Nihilists said in The Big Leibowski, “It’s just not fair!” Oh, yeah, here comes Mittens the Cat!

The disappearance of Mr. Bun has taken a back seat to the debate between Princess Pinky, Bob T. Panda, and Mittens the Cat. Tell me when it’s all over…I don’t think I can bear to watch!

“You are all Losers!” – Mittens the Cat

What’s that you say? Mittens bears some resemblance to one of this year’s Presidential candidates? Imagine that! well, if all of this year’s political shenanigans has got you down, get yourself a beer, some cuppycakes, and sit a spell and watch this video by my pal Doxiemom made of Bubba and his mom! I hear panda videos are very relaxing and we are going to need all the relaxing we can get this summer and fall!

Be the Bear,
Bob T Panda

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It’s Going to Get Worse Before it Gets Better

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I apologize to you all in advance, in case the current run of ‘toons traumatizes you. But with art as well as in politics, it sometimes gets worse before it gets better. In my work to reintroduce Mittens the Cat (with a whole new fur-do) I am finding that I can’t make up anything more absurd or horrifying than what I hear on the radio or read online.

So in the words of someone or another, sometimes writing satire is just quoting the news. Tom Leher, maybe?

Be very afraid. Bob is…..

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

But before we bring Mittens on, there is the little matter of Mr. Bun. He seems to be…um…missing. Dis. Will. Not. Stand. Hmmm…we seem to be saying that a lot.
Be sure to tune in on Wednesday to see what’s up with Mr. Bun.

Be the Bear
Bob T Panda

Note: I just got word from the folks at WordPress that my site was down for 7 minutes this morning, but now it is back on track. Either it was Pinky trying to hijack my site, or Mittens the Cat got word that we were going to be revealing his evil plans and new fur-do. Be very afraid.

Fabulous Furry Friday presents…

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The best of Mittens the Cat! When we found out that Mittens was entering the race for president, we shook our collective heads in dismay. Hasn’t this election cycle gotten crazy enough? Fabulous Furry Friday presents: The Best of Mittens!

This. Will. Not. Stand!!!!

Ha ha! Of course it will. One thing we must remember, during this excruciating election season, and that is we need as much funny as possible, and all the better if we can make thinly veiled references (or maybe not so thinly veiled) about various political candidates. And laugh about it. Even if it’s through our grinding teeth.

For those of you who just recently joined the pandasphere, we bring you some cartoons starring Bob and Mittens from the previous presidential cycle. Pinky wasn’t even born yet, let alone vying for world domination!

Babette has ..um…toned her wardrobe down in honor of this important occasion.

In the words of Winnie ther Pooh, “I think it’s time for a little something.

Cats….you just can’t trust em.

Remember, Mittens has “excellent fur.”

Does being endangered have NO privileges?

Keep cool, cat, and don’t go blaming women for stuff. That is SO not the way to get votes…Endangered Species card? #DealMeIn

Hmmmm…I think that the raw materials to transform Mittens into the personality of one of the current candidates are all there. stay tuned! It’s going to get might pandy around here!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

The Return of Mittens

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Remember Mittens the Cat? Bob’s nemesis (or is that nematode?) of the 2012 election? Well, he’s back, and he has a new fur-do as well as a general makeover, to make him look…um…like maybe just the teeny tiniest bit like one of the current crop of political candidates. The return of Mittens will make Pinky look positively …um…reasonable. Is that even possible? I can’t believe I said that!

Stay tuned.

It is too much to BEAR!

Meanwhile, in other cat based humor, my brother sent me a link for what may possible be the most disgusting (but kind of funny) thing I have ever heard of. And before you ask, I will not be supporting their Kickstarter campaign. Some things should just NOT be encouraged.

I hope you stick around for Fabulous Furry Friday, when we will revisit the previous appearances of Mittens the cat. (Not to be confused with Mehitabel.)

See you then!

Be the Bear

Bob T Panda

I Am Not a Crook!

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Oh the indignity of it all. To be accused in a note left in a panda’s playpen of all things, accused of unlawfully removing the adorable Canadian panda twins from their playpen and bringing them to MY house! I tell you, I am NOT a crook!

Hmmm…I think I’ve heard that phrase before but I can’t remember where.

Anyway, I know this is one of Pinky’s evil plans to discredit me, so that she can win the presidential race. No matter how badly she behaves, her numbers keep going up in the polls, while mine….um…don’t.

Really…I’m not!

I can bearly bear (ha ha) to listen to the real election coverage anymore. It keeps getting more and more absurd and my pandy sense tells me that we are in for a long hot summer. We are going to need pandas and panda satire more than ever, so when you get tired of reality, be sure to come on by and check in with all the pandas here at the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire.You’ll be glad you did.

I recently added a new item to the store at Pandyland! By request of a fan, We now have the Panda Kindergarten Samurai flask. good to quench your thirst in whatever way you think is necessary. I know what I’ll be putting in MY flask to get through the election season, but you can put what ever you’d like in it. Check it out here!

Be the Bear

Pinky and Bob

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Okay, politico fans! Today Pinky and Bob go panda-a-pando on the debate stage. I can hardly wait!

But first, I must report on last weekend’s Pandamonium 2016 Panda Convention which took place at the San Diego Zoo. Panda fans from around the world (literally) gathered in San Diego (or as we like to call it: Pandiego) to greet old friends, meet new friends, and most of all, visit the pandas at the SDZ. Mr. Wu was in rare form, eating, sleeping, rushing around wildly (Note to Wu: watch your panda nip intake!) and some of us who indulged in the Early Morning with Pandas tour even got to see Gao Gao, who although getting up in years, still let it be known that he is the bear.

Panda fans came to Pandiego from Singapore, Australia, Canada, and Switzerland. They came from New York, Maine, Pennsylvania, Washington state, Florida, and Arizona, in addition to those from California. In case you are counting along on your fingers, that’s FIVE countries and FOUR continents. And…ahem…they also came to hear yours truly speak about the history (well, my history, anyway) of panda satire and how The Panda Chronicles came to be.

If you had to miss the fun in Pandiego, you can still read the tale of panda satire (with pictures, no less!) by signing up for my mailing list! I will send out the link and secret password to the page: From Pandapiphany to Princess Pinky: Finding my Inner Panda. If you are already on the mailing list, I will be sending out a newsletter next week, and if you aren’t, you’ll have time to sign up for it. This is separate from the regular blog posts, and is the second sign-up box on the upper right column headed: Get Even More Pandas and never fear, you won’t be inundated with daily or even weekly emails. Honest.

Okay…with no further folderol….

Hey! That’s not fair!!!!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

On the Campaign Trail

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Editors note: Pinky has been sneaking around (unknown to her sainted mother) out on the campaign trail, and if The Very Bob T. Panda doesn’t get out there, even his three loyal supporters might go looking elsewhere with their votes.

I have not said much about the actual campaign atrocities that have been going on out there. It makes me too worried for our future so instead, I am concentrating on Bob and Pinky’s shenanigans. Much better for my blood pressure, and besides, Andy Borowitz does a much better job than I ever could (and he even snuck in a picture of Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau with a couple of pandas!)

But now, it’s time for things to get going panda-a-pando over at the Panda Chronicles debate headquarters.

“I thought I had until November.” -Bob T Panda

Pinky is ready to get down and get dirty.
Are you?

Be the Bear,
Bob T Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday

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This week, Fabulous Furry Friday looks at…(you know we had to do this, didn’t you?) The 2016 Election Season. Well, actually, it’s more like the 2012 election season that we are looking back on, since a certain candidate, who we will refer to as He Who Must Not Be Named, (or HWMNBN) was throwing verbal rocks at the previous failed Republican presidential candidate, calling him a loser and disgrace.

Now, I am no fan of the former Republican candidate, but he deserves respect, particularly from someone who wants to hold the office under consideration. (So does our current President, if you want my opinion.) Can’t we play nice, please? Pretty panda please?

Is it really all black and white?

Cats….you just can’t trust em. Remember Mittens?

Keep cool, cat, and don’t go blaming women for stuff. That is SO not the way to get votes…

And if debating with Mittens wasn’t bad enough, now Bob is facing Pinky in the primary fight of his life. The soul of the Panda Party is at stake!

What could Pinky be up to…?

Don’t mess with Pinky.

…and I real have to talk with my media team, because I don’t have a video yet, and Pinky’s has been shown all over the world!

Be the Bear and have a fabulous weekend!
Bob T Panda

What do you mean by “um”?

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A faithful reader, (okay, well, it was my brother,) suggested that I remind people just what WOOZPPAH stands for. So here I go: WOOZPPAH stands for WOOdlandpark Zoo Project PandaH… and I know, I know..there is no “H” at the end of ‘Panda’ but it seemed more festive with an ‘H’ at the end. Kind of like ” There is no ‘R’ in Washington,” as my friend Sandy Bradley always used to say on the old Potluck Show on Saturday mornings in a Wallingford tavern.

But, being that the word WOOZPPAH is kind of obscure, and you have to explain it every time you use it, we need a zippy hashtag so that our movement to bring pandas to Washington State, (or even better, Seattle, or even better than that, Whidbey Island, which while it doesn’t have a zoo, it does have any number of properties with out of control bamboo growing on them.)

If you’re just tuning in, check out our other ‘toons about WOOZPPAH here! And here!

We promise we’ll clean up after them and EVERYTHING! It won’t be like the thing with the goldfish, honest!

So put your thinking cap on and come up with some really good hastags for our campaign to bring pandas to Washington State. This is really, really important, because…um,,, well you are just going to have to take my word for it! It just is!

Tune in on Friday for more from the Princess Pinky Bridgegate scandal! Maybe she will have news about how she did at the Iowa Caucuses!

Be the Bear,
Bob T Panda

Pandas Go Viral Part 2

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The other day on Fezbook, Pinky’s Secretary for Saying Nice Things About Pinky reprimanded me for saying that it shouldn’t always be all about Pinky. Sigh. Is this fair? I mean the election is more than a year away and she already has been appointing cabinet members? I mean, who ever heard of that cabinet post? and Secretary of Interior Decorating! Is that really a thing?

Meanwhile, I am trying to reach my political consultants who are not answering their mePhones. Where is MY campaign video? I need it so that my campaign can go viral, for crying out loud.

It’s just not FAIR!

Meanwhile, in the world of real pandas, the newest panda at the National Zoo in Washington DC has turned 3 weeks old! He’s getting fat and sassy, and I’m pretty sure he is going to make his debut here very soon.

Keep being the bear!
Bob T. Panda