Category Archives: Pandas speak out

Oh, for a Friday that would be Fabulous again.

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So…if I went to bed, turned out the lights, with the covers over my head, and I shut my eyes really really really really tightly, when I woke up in the morning, would all that has been going on, turn out to be just a bad dream?

No…I didn’t think so.

The atrocities are piling up too quickly for me to discuss here, but if you really want to have them spelled out for you (intelligently and insightfully) in one place, check out Amy Siskind’s podcast The Weekly List, accessible from the website of the same name. Other podcasts I’m listening to are Pod Save America, Lovett or Leave it, as well as the rebroadcasts of The Rachel Maddow Show. I’m not sure whether listening to these things is helping my mental health, but I do feel a lot better informed. News and analysis from people who are smart, funny, and knowledgeable about politics. I know no one here watches Foxy News.

But enough reality already! Let’s have some pandas, as we await the really important news of the day: Is Mei Xiang going to have another cubby or two?

we are still hoping for a panda cub trifecta

Hey! watch where you put that torch!

Despite the fact that Bob is still wearing his vacation outfit, he’s back and ready to report!

Sometimes real life news stories make it Just. Too. Easy

truth

Foxxy “News” lies like a rug.

Well *bleep* and take your *bleep* and stick it *bleep*!!!!

Don’t let you know who take all the whippy cream!

Pandas RESIST!!!!
Bob T see you on the barricades Panda

 

#PandaSatireIsNotACrime

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Well, at least it’s not a crime YET…

I hope everyone who had either a primary election or a special election in your state/district went and voted. It is important that everyone who can vote does. Yes, I meant everyone. If you have to cheat to win an election, well, then it’s not really winning, is it?

Because if you don’t vote, we might end up with something like this:

Things are about as real as they can get.

Oh. Yeah. We did. Well, you should vote anyway, ‘kay?

Keep Fridays Furry and Fabulous

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Sigh….

Just to warn you…You may want to skip ahead to the ‘toons…or maybe not.

international woman's day

…and due to the International women’s day strike of 2017

The times they are a changing back again. To all of us who were around in the late 60’s and early 70’s, all who marched and protested the Viet Nam war, the killings at Kent State, the corruption that brought down the Nixon administration: We thought those days were over.

But they came creeping back in. Self interest. Corruption. The “Me Generation.” we took our eye off the ball and now it has come back and whacked us in the head.

Can I just say how proud I am of all those students from Parkland Florida, and now across the nation who are standing up and speaking out?

Can I say how scared I am for my friends who are teachers and their students? Arming teachers in the classroom is not the answer. I remember how hard it was to learn when all I had to worry about was whether the mean girls were going to pick on me that day. How do you learn when you think that today might be the day you will die? How do you teach under that threat? I mean, math is hard enough as it is.

For the students who are out there, putting your hearts and minds in the service of stopping the violence: I stand with you. I am so very proud of you. You are the future of this country.

Panda on!

Sad to say, this is even more true than when I wrote it at the end of 2015

Is it any wonder I am now even more “pandy” than I was before?

I think this is an excellent idea.

Maybe Pandas DO have a better idea…..

Mei Xiang and the Zoo Director have gotten their panties in a knot, it seems.

Minion security: you can’t be too careful.

We can definitely use this in Pinky’s campaign….

It’s Shark Week at the panda kindergarten! Roar!!!!

This number is unlisted….Needless to say, this is a previous administration. Pinky would never go near the current occupant usurper.

The parents of daughters never have a really easy time of it, do they?

Mei should not be getting all excited like this in her condition!

Mei puts her paw down…

And this hacking into my title imagery has got to stop!

I thought maybe you all needed a few extra ‘toons today to cope with reality this week. I hear reading panda cartoons is VERY relaxing.

Viva les Pandas!
Bob T Panda

The State of the Union (of Pandas)

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Far be it from me to fail to capitalize of the tsunami of exposure by putting the words: The State of the Union in my post today. I will not watch it, I did not watch it, except in little bits and pieces that float up on the inter webs like …um…pieces of toilet paper floating downstream from some faulty plumbing. But because we love to make our thoughts known on things political (well, until they drag us away or 45 so enrages hostile forces that they drop a bomb on us) we offer today…

Pandas explain tax reform! An educational feature brought to you by the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire.

Clear as mud!

Does the tax plan foisted on us by an uncaring republican congress make any more sense now?

And don’t forget to join all the happy people who have welcomed Pinky into their life via The Pinky Defense! Huzzah! Available via the picture of Pinky’s book on the right-hand column!

Do you want to make Pinky mad? Buy her book before she finds out!

Panda On!
Bob T Panda

And a Happy(er) New Year

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Hey!

This is a bonus ‘toon, because you have all been such good panda cubs. On this first day of the new year, let me tell you how much I value you all! I love that you not only read my ‘toons, but you create whole dialogs between the pandas we know and love, on Facebook and Twitter and know the voices and personas I’ve given their panda satire counterparts. I love that you send me cookies and panda presents and cards. I love that you check to see I’m okay when a natural (or unnatural) disaster happens in my area.

But mostly, just thank you for being here and embracing and believing what I do here. It makes me just a bit schmoopy every time you tell me my panda humor has helped you through the day.

May olde acquaintance be forgot…

Keep panda-ing on.
Forever Bob T

Banned by Mittens

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Controversy continues to swirl around the question of conflict of interest in the Executive Branch of the government. It’s been a long time since my civics and government classes in high school (never you mind HOW long) but I don’t remember the chapter titled: Using the Presidency to Get Rich – A guide to better living through self promotion. I’m pretty sure that kind of behavior is banned in government. Press secretary and presidential councilor product pimping comes to mind, for example.

But some companies have declined to carry certain product lines and You Know Who called for boycotts…

Banned

Buy my books! Mittens HATES them!

Sooner or later a line is going to be crossed. Um…who am I kidding. So many lines have already been crossed with no consequences whatsoever. I would have been sent to my room with a stern lecture at least 20 scandals ago.  But buy my books anyway.

#WatchingFrom theCheapSeats #Invokethe25th

Panda on
Bob T Panda

The Not So Affordable Care Act

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To be completely honest (unlike certain politicians I could name, but won’t, since they’re all lawyers) I didn’t plan for this cartoon to be scheduled right after the **New Improved** (NOT!!!!) Affordable Care Act substitution proposal was announced. It just worked out that way.  I’m not going to go into a rant here (okay maybe just the teeniest, tiniest cute rant) because you can go read all the details in the news or on Twidder and FezBook. Let’s just say that it is not a whole lot better than what’s coming up in today’s ‘toon.

We might already be tired of how great everything is becoming.

affordable care act

How easy is it going to be to stay healthy with no EPA or food safety regulations? Asking for a friend.

Panda On (And let’s be careful out there!)

Bob T Panda

PS: have I mentioned that my new book is out???

The seventh book of The Panda Chronicles Series

 

More Alternative Facts

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Here at the Panda Chronicles, we are never satisfied with the status quo! Join us in welcoming a new character to the cast, KittySue Conjob. Okay, maybe not welcoming, precisely…because let’s face it, if you think Pinky bends the truth and can be just the tiniest bit annoying, you ain’t seen nothing yet. While creating alternative facts left and right is part and parcel of standard operating procedure here at The Panda Chronicles, that is nothing compared to the whoppers KittySue and her real life inspiration (can you guess who that is? I bet you can!) roll out day after day. But we’re fictional, remember?

But let’s put our paws together for a big pandy welcome to…

alternative facts

Hey! Why are you making another character of questionable ethics a CAT???

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

There’s Something Happening Here…

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...what it is ain’t exactly clear.…Things are happening very fast and I don’t think it is a good thing. When you are steering a ship of state, which is much bigger, than say, the Titanic, it seems like you would want to chart your course carefully, lest  you, ya know, run into an iceberg.  Not just barrel on ahead, because you like the sound of your own voice that much.

Heh.

Meanwhile, there is no such thing as an alternative fact, unless you are talking about speculative science fiction. Are we still allowed to use the word “science”? It’s good to remember that not everything is as it exactly appears in any particular snapshot (or screenshot!) But that doesn’t mean we should not pay attention. Or talk about what we’ve read or heard. Question everything, and let your representatives know how you feel, good and bad.

Our Future is at stake. Let’s treat it like it means something. Keep the conversation going.

Are all these paper clips mine?

Panda On!
Bob T Panda