Category Archives: the essential pandaness of being

The UnBEARable Snarkiness of Being

Really, sometimes real life just makes it too easy to be snotty and make fun of something I hear about on the news. An actual radio station in Calgary, Alberta determined that because their listeners were getting much of their news from abbreviated social media sites, like Facebook and Twitter, that maybe their listeners were thinking that the songs they listened to were way too long.

I am not making this up.

But I am going to make fun of it.

Aren’t you done yet?

There is some understandable and justifiable backlash coming from the recording artists whose songs are being butchered, and rightly so. What’s next? Is someone going to walk into my gallery and ask just to buy the “best” part of the painting? Maybe so.

Be the Bear
Bob T. P…(shortened due to waning attention span of readers)

I’m late, I’m late…..

5 Replies

Oh my ears and whiskers! I had been doing so well, getting all my cartoons done and posted in advance, but this bear is wearing the “semi-famous artist putting on an show with 11 artists” hat this week, and expecting 400-600 people to show up at our show, so, if I am a little behind, I have a good excuse! Check it out over at the Froggwell Blog!

But Inspector Danger is my middle name Panda cannot be stopped!

Mr Wu is still skeptical of Babette’s story…

“fuggedabout the bleeping tape!”

Well, I could go on, but I still have miles to go before I sleep! I hope you are still celebrating Mr Wu’s Birthday! We will bring you more Wu on Fabulous Furry Friday, and remember, pandas like being shared with your friends and families!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

A Friday so Fabulous and Furry…

4 Replies

…that we can hardly contain our excitement! We are in the run-up to one of the most exciting days of the year!

Yes, I am referring to Mr Wu’s SECOND BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Will he take a bath to celebrate the occasion? Don’t count on it. But it’s not a problem, since we are on the interweb, and Mr Wu is happily, if fragrantly, in Pandiego!

Here are a few of my favorite cartoons about Mr Wu. If you want more Wu, more of the time, I suggest you acquire a copy of the fourth Panda Chronicles collection: The Panda Chronicles Book 4: The Book of Wu!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of BooBeer!

“Wu calls his dance, ‘Ode to a Weaf’ “

Mr Wu speaks out! Huzzah for our now year old twins in Zoo Atlanta!

Fanmail from some Flounder?

Hope you are getting lots of cuppycakes ready to celebrate with Mr Wu on his actual birthday on Tuesday July 29th! And BTW this week is National Zookeepers week, so let’s put our paws together for all of Mr Wu’s girlfriends, and the nannykeepers that keep Pinky and the Meihems in line. A special mention should go out to the panda house folks at Zoo Atlanta, for their totally awesome animal care that they accomplished when Lun Lun surprised them (and apparently herself) with twins!

And a further bit of news from the Panda Publishing front, get a first look (not to mention first taste,) of what we have up our sleeves…er…paws with The Panda Chronicles Cuppycake Cookbook, coming to you…um…eventually from the paws of panda aficionado and chef du cuppycake, Vicky Vladic over at her blog, V Something Speaks. She shares the first recipe from the book, celebrating our very own birthday girl-to-be, Princess Pinky.

If you want to know when this book will be a reality, subscribe to this blog (and/or V Something Speaks too!) and you will know before anyone else! You could really help us out if you test recipes as she shares them, and let us know how they worked for you. You can also follow me on twitter @pandachronicle where I’m sure I will be telling all I know!

Huzzah!

Be the Bear and have a fabulous cuppycake filled weekend!
Bob T. Panda

Episode 7: A Suspicious Document

16 Replies

The plot is thickening, no question about it. Babette du Panda has presented the alleged will of Minette, in an attempt to convince Inspector Panda that she is the rightful owner of the prized painting.

But first, here is the previous episode for those who have just tuned in!

Oh, that Mr Wu is a clever little bear! Is Madame du Panda trying to pull a fast one?

and now, our story continues!

Is this plot thickening, or what?

I don’t know about you, but I think this document is VERY suspicious!

Mr Wu observes an interesting detail….

Oh my! here we are on the edge of our seat, and what’s with the tape on Mr Wu’s ear, anyway?

“Fuggedabout da bleeping tape!”

Tune in next time for our next episode. A suspicious document, indeed!

Bears of Mystery!
Bob T. Panda

They are watching you!

4 Replies

Once again, news from the real world inspires me with tales of pandas doing stuff that they shouldn’t be doing. Thanks to Panda-spondant Charlene J. for alerting me to the story on unmanned drones being used to track wild pandas. We are still working on the story about the bear that fell through a skylight in Alaska, (NOT a panda, I might point out) in a brazen attempt to gobble up cuppycakes at a birthday party. Dude! Just ring the bell! I’m sure they would ask you in if you would just ask politely!

Every move you make, we’ll be watching you!

This is an excellent learning opportunity for the panda kindergarten! I mean learning about science and wild pandas. What did you think I meant?

Be the bear!
Bob T Panda

And be sure to tune in next time when Inspector Panda returns!

Fabulous Furry Friday returns!

6 Replies

Friday already? Where does the week go? There has been lots going on and much of it has been stories from the real world, that make us wonder how the human race has survived for this long. (And you thought pandas were endangered!)

Not only have people been taking selfies in perilous situations, apparently some people have torched their homes in their attempts to kill spiders or get rid of snakes. One fire official commented, “Fire is not the method to use to kill spiders.” You can be sure that the investigative team here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire will be looking into this.

For now, let’s revisit some of the …um..questionable situations the panda kindergarten has gotten into.

the year of the dragon, panda kindergarten

Huzzah! it’s the year of the Dragon!

What do you mean by “was?”

Always read the directions…

have a great weekend, and remember, be careful while taking selfies!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Selfies at the Tour de France

4 Replies

Oh my, just when I thought that the practice of taking selfies couldn’t get any more absurd, (see this post) an observant reader told me that people were taking selfies at the Tour de France. Not only were they taking selfies, they were stepping out into the flow of (really, really, really,) fast bicycle racers in order to do so.

We are talking about bicycle racers with only three fat cells in their entire bodies, who are probably already a little cranky because
A) Someone just compared them to Lance Armstrong,
B) It’s July,
C)There are not actually french fries every where in France,
and
D) Some moron with an iphone – who hasn’t been on a bike since 4th grade – just stepped out in front of them and they crashed and cannot finish the race because their $12,000 Italian racing bike now looks like a leftover pretzel from the Bumpkin County Fair.

Of course, here at The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire felt we had to address this issue, in the mature and respectful way that you have come to expect from us. (Insert fart joke here.)

Sometimes real life news stories make it Just. Too. Easy

Meanwhile back at the Zoo, panda birthday season has begun. I hesitate to admit that I don’t know the birthdays of every U.S. born panda, let alone those born abroad, but Washington DC’s favorite #1 son, Tai Shan, celebrated his 9th birthday on July 9th, and the Meihem twins of Zoo Atlanta have their first birthday coming up this Tuesday! (Ya’ll come back for a special birthday ‘toon on Tuesday, OK?)

Meanwhile, in honor of the publication of my book Pandamorphosis, we are inviting you to post pictures of YOUR copy of Pandamorphosis on The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire page on Facebook.

Huzzah!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

More from Inspector Panda…

49 Replies

…and his latest mystery. Or maybe more accurately, a little more on Babette’s story of her great-great-great-great-gasp-great-great grandmama. There will be an art history quiz at the end.

For those of you who have missed the first 4 episodes, you can see Episode 1: here, Episode 2: here, and Episode 3: here. And just because I’m that kind of bear, I am reposting episode four, along with today’s episode:

Why DOES Mr Wu have a piece of tape on his right ear?

Episode four of The case of the Picturesque Panda…

And now, for today’s episode….

Let’s see who stayed awake during art history classes!

I told you there would be a quiz, didn’t I? The first 5 people to CORRECTLY identify all five of the painting references (by artist, extra credit for titles) will receive a small envelope full of panda swag. You can leave your answers in the comments. I will contact the winners for their addresses. (US addresses only, sorry, Vicky, but you should be getting a whole BOX of panda swag any day now!)

And I would be remiss, if I did not mention that yesterday was Canada Day, better known around here as Panada Day! Thanks again to Liam Francis Walsh who suggested this drawing:

Oh Panada, Oh Panada, how tasty are your maple leaves….

And would someone please tell the morons who are setting off fireworks NOW, that the 4th of July is FRIDAY?????

Sigh…being the bear….
Bob T. Panda

Selfies With Pandas

14 Replies

I gave up watching TV more than 15 years ago, and quit reading newspapers some years earlier. (After Bill Watterson retired, what was the point?) But here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we are not totally uninformed. We listen to NPR (National Panda Radio), read The New Yorker* and the Atlantic Magazine. But our favorite source for Nooz Pandas Can Use is the NPR show, Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.

* sometimes we even read the articles.

Yesterday, as I was driving around in the cubvertable, one Wait, Wait… segment related a story about how the state of New York was considering (or had already) outlawed the practice of taking selfies with tigers. Now, this story raised many questions, that we felt were not adequately addressed on the show. (We thought about going back and listening to the podcast to see if we had our facts straight, but then we thought, hey! We’re pandas! Since when have we concerned ourself with the facts?)

First, are tiger selfies really such a big problem? and what about enforcement of the new statute? Are they going to staff zoos and other places that tigers congregate to make sure no one takes a selfie with the tigers. Do the tigers get any say in this?

Needless to say, The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire has not shirked their responsibility to fully explore this issue.

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

Don’t forget to check out pandas around the web!
Kirby Larson’s Kirby’s Lane: Friday June 13, 2014
June 9th on Cordelia Calls it Quits, and
June 11th on Cordelia’s Mom, Still
Pandamorphosis was reviewed by Henry Nicholls, author of The Way of the Panda, on his Animal Magic blog at The Guardian.

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Where in the World…

6 Replies

…are Princess Pinky and the Mei-hem Twins? Thats what enquiring minds keep asking me. I’m afraid I have been just the teensiest bit irresponsible (do ya think???) to let the girls go off across the country in the Cublanta Twins’ little yellow cubvertible without any supervision.

What was I thinking?

But we have addressed the manner in the most responsible and expedient way possible by devoting the latest edition of ZooNooZ to an in depth look at this crisis.

Uh oh…mad mom alert….

So where in the world are they?…um…your guess is as good as mine! (See helpful map!)

A heads up for Wednesday: I have a special guest blogger who will be virtually visiting me here at The Panda Chronicles! Writer C. Hope Clark, author of The Carolina Slade mystery series and grand poobah of the extremely popular and useful Funds for Writers website. She offered to share a guest post here as I celebrate the launch of Pandamorphosis into the world. I’m thrilled to have her here, as she talks about finding and following our childhood wishes and dreams.

Till then,
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda