What would you do if your house was suddenly invaded by pandas? Would you panic and call the panda exterminator, or would you get into the swing of things and go along for the ride? Watch for more drawings from the (hopefully)  upcoming book,  Pandamorphosis  coming to a nightmare SOON!

Till then, Panda On!

Bob T

With the Panda Census about to take place later this month, we thought we would share this quiz (which we just made up) with our loyal fans. Please answer the questions as honestly as possible as this will go on your permanent record.

1. How many stuffed pandas do you now own?

a) Oh, just a couple.

b) You can still see parts of my bed

c) None of your business

2. What percentage of your friends are now sending you pictures of pandas, panda cards or emails with pictures of the earthquake pandas?

a) 10%

b) 25%

c)I have no friends anymore, except for pandas, which all love me.

3.  What portion of your time do you spend thinking about pandas?

a) Just when I have my coffee in the morning.

b) Only when I’m awake.

c) What else could I possibly want to think about?

3.  Do you feel that your obssession with pandas is interfering with your daily life and ability to earn a living?

a) No, no, it’s no problem. Just talk amongst yourselves, while I look at pictures of earthquake pandas.

b) None of your business.

c) No, the cardboard box that I now live in is quite comfortable and I’ve drawn pictures of pandas all over the inside.

Hope this little quiz has been instructive!

Pand On!

Bob T. Panda

We pandas have always been the ultimate environmentalists. Must be because we are endangered and all.

Panda On!

Bob

OK, so maybe I’m a little oversensitive when the name of a certain coffee company comes up, having toiled in the coffee mines of said company oh so many years ago, but what I heard on the news today kind of floored me.  Apparantly, This particular business establishment has chosen to allow it’s customers to carry guns, as long as they are not concealed.  Alright, I am not a panda in favor of guns, but it is law in Seattle, as well as many other places that people may own and carry guns as long as it is in the open. I may not agree with that, but for the time being must accept it.  According to the news story, activists on both sides of the issue choose to make their stand at the aformentioned ( or not mentioned ,as it were) coffee establishment. 

What puzzles me, is the coffee purveyor’s policy.  Having worked in retail many years, there is enough stress and unpleasantness in the job itself without adding the element of pistol totin’ folks not liking how you steamed their cafe latte.  It’s decaf for you, bub. Or how about if the baristas were armed? Nah, probably not a good idea, especially at the end of a double shift.

I’m just sayin’.

Panda On

Bob T. Panda

We are panda-ing on at the Vancouver BC Olympic games! We thought maybe we might be asked to leave after that little “unpleasantness” about the bobsled team, but after all the yelling was over, they decided we could stay for the downhill events.   There was a slight misunderstanding about the nature of the Giant Panda slalom event. How were we supposed to know about the requirement that we do it on SKIS!!!!!?????  I’ll let you know how we make out in the medals for this event.

Panda On!

Bob

Well it was a proud day for pandas everywhere!  Pandas ( that most graceful of animals) have managed to win the gold medal for pair figure skating in Vancouver BC this week.  I myself am quite the skater, but I have been unable to participate, due to the fact that I recently got a traffic ticket for “operating a vehicle under the influence of bamboo” last week. How was I to know that the bamboo had fermented?   I had my lucky panties packed and ready to go to Vancouver, when I had my unfortunate meeting with the state patrol.  How was I to know that cruise control is NOT the same thing as automatic pilot?   Anyway, I was turned back at the border, so I just had to watch on TV.

Till next time,

Panda ON

Bob

More from cousin Tai, now living at the panda ranch in China:

Dear Bob, thought you might like to read my diary posts:

Feb. 4th: Boarded plane for China this morning. They didn’t let me bring my laptop or big screen TV. Said the other pandas might be jealous.  Knew things were not looking good, when I was shown to my compartment and there was no padded leather seat, or glass of champagne waiting for me. Where’s my warm, moist towelette?

Feb. 6th: Boy I hate these long flights. Had a stop over in Atlanta, to pick up cousin Mei. Boy is she stuck up. She told me the pilot let her steer the plane for a while. That must have been when I got “sick”

Feb 9th: I don’t like it here. The other pandas shortsheeted my bed. They all talk Chinese and get real quiet when I walk by. I think they’re talking about me.

I’ll write again next week ( if I can get time on the communal computer.)

Tai Shan.

Panda On!

Bob

More from cousin Tai, now living at the panda ranch in China:

Dear Bob, thought you might like to read my diary posts:

Feb. 4th: Boarded plane for China this morning. They didn’t let me bring my laptop or big screen TV. Said the other pandas might be jealous.  Knew things were not looking good, when I was shown to my compartment and there was no padded leather seat, or glass of champagne waiting for me. Where’s my warm, moist towelette?

Feb. 6th: Boy I hate these long flights. Had a stop over in Atlanta, to pick up cousin Mei. Boy is she stuck up. She told me the pilot let her steer the plane for a while. That must have been when I got “sick”

Feb 9th: I don’t like it here. The other pandas shortsheeted my bed. They all talk Chinese and get real quiet when I walk by. I think they’re talking about me.

I’ll write again next week ( if I can get time on the communal computer.)

Tai Shan.

Panda On!

Bob

I know, I know, Tai Shan’s relocation is for the good of pandas everywhere. Just think, his offspring could be the magic number 300th panda in captivity, thus ensuring pandas continuance and eventual world domination. But that happy day is somewhere in the future. I mean, other than his mom, he’s never even met a girl panda. 

Here’s an excerpt from an email he sent me on arriving at his new home in China:

“Dear Bob, It’s all so strange here. I don’t think I’m going to like it here. The other pandas all speak Chinese,  and they don’t let me watch my favorite shows on TV whenever I want to like I used to do at home. WE all have to sleep in a big dormitory.  What’s THAT all about? Hope they let me come home soon.”

We do too, Tai.

Panda on, BOB