Category Archives: ZooNooz

The RNC Pageant, VP Edition

I bet you think I’m gonna have a little rant….

I think you’re right. I’m doing my best not to immerse myself in the RNC spectacle: the insincere calls for “unity”, the calculated choice of a young, not what you might call qualified, choice for VP. He is certainly no statesman.

What the GOP means by “unity:
That we will not point out the crimes, both convicted and indicted of their chosen candidate.
That we will not say mean things about the far reaching implications and realities of their Project 2025, which is the blueprint to take down the government and the country as we have known it in our lifetime.
That we will not point out the many, many, (many) lies told by their candidate both in and out of office
That we will not keep bringing up that …um…attempted coup when he lost in 2020.
That we will accept their calls for violence while not raising a hand to defend ourselves.

900 pages is a lot to read, and I have not read it. But here is one of the highlights, things that you might not consider would have impact on our day to day lives:
Defunding NOAA: These are the scientists that bring us the weather reports. Besides bringing attention to climate change, those wonderful little weather apps that come free on our phones, the ones that tell us if we need to bring a sweater or maybe put off our trip to the city for a day, because there is a big storm coming in, those are big business. If only those could be privatized…run for profit! You don’t get to know which way the wind blows if you’re not willing to pay for it. Mostly, we think of those weather apps as a nice thing, so we know what to wear or to pack for a trip. But they are a vital tool for weather disaster planning, that saves lives as well as money.

JD Vance is closely tied to Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, and (barf) Tweedledee and Tweedledum. FFF* was leaning toward the rich white guy from North Dakota: a guy who at least looked the part of VP. But Tweedledee and Tweedledum thought young JD was the better pick. That should tell you all you need to know.

Meanwhile, back at the Panda Chronicles…

Here’s to not having bad dreams…

*Felon Forty Five

Be the Bear
Bob T is short on funny things to say Panda

May I Have the Envelope Please?

10 Replies

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated with the “OH MY GOD I NEVER REALIZED JOE BIDEN IS OLD WE MUST DOOOOOOO SOMETHING ABOUT IT RIGHT! NOW!” narrative in the so called mainstream media and the pundit class is yelling from the rooftops.

Some of you (maybe about 150 million) seem to be unaware we have what is called a “Primary Election” that is held in different states, roughly from the end of January till the late spring. At this time, you could vote for other people who chose to run. Dean Phillips (who?) and the failed scion of the Kennedy clan ran and mostly finished behind “no voice” or “uncommitted”. Pretty far below, if I remember correctly.

Look. I don’t know if Biden is going to make it through 4 years. That’s why there is a Vice President and we have a good one. Apparently there is a faction that just noticed she is a multi racial woman, a fact they seemed to ignore while there was no chance she would actually become president if something happened to Biden. Maybe all the viable alternates didn’t run because they knew it would be a cluster*ck and maybe hand the election to TFG.

To be clear I will vote for a box of donuts if it is running as the head of the Democratic ticket, but I’m happy to vote for Handsome Joe if he is indeed the one running. He must feel like he’s under a million microscopes right now. If there is a fight at the convention, it won’t be exciting (at least not in a good way) and it won’t be fun. It will only make us weaker and lead some people to stay home and not vote at all.

And that is what Felon 45 and his ilk wants.

Meanwhile, maybe by this time next week we’ll know who FFF (Felon Forty Five, get it?) is bringing to the prom.

I’m staying as far away from the election food fight as I can.

Be the Bear
Bob T tell me when it’s over Panda

Independence…or Else

14 Replies

I told you a rant was coming…

This has been a really hard week to wrap my head around. First the disastrous commentary on Biden’s debate performance. Granted, the debate was pretty terrible. Biden’s low energy and general demeanor was not ideal. But neither was TFG’s non- stop firehose of lies.

It’s disgusting that the media, particularly the NYT and the pundit class were all baying for Biden’s blood, and at the same time ignoring and minimizing his busy schedule and strong, stirring speeches at these events (G-7! D-Day! Major fundraisers in NY and CA! President stuff!) and completely ignoring the lies of a 34 times convicted felon who lies more than he breathes.

The only newspaper that had the guts to say, “Hey, maybe the guy who has been convicted of 34 felonies, stole national nuclear secrets and tried to over throw an election…maybe HE should step down,” was the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Honestly, I don’t know if he should step down or not. Only Joe Biden knows, and an overwhelming number of primary contest voters voted for him. I can’t imagine the chaos it would cause if he did. I’m against anything that hands the election to You Know Who. If you haven’t read about the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025, you should at least read some summaries. For starters, they want to replace career civil servants with TFG loyalists. They want a national abortion ban, gutting of all regulations and the agencies that regulate them. You like clean air? too bad. We can’t tell polluting corporations what to do. You think there should be public education? Nope. That’s out. Medicare, medicaid, Social Security: they’re all on the chopping block. But don’t worry. You won’t live long enough to need elder care.

And then there is the “Supreme” Court…

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

On this, the day that the Declaration of Independence was signed, the document that said all men (well, white men, no women or POC need apply) are created equal and no one is above the fucking law, well…the Heritage Foundation Federalist Society Justices, just said, “New phone, who dis?”

In essence they put themselves above the law, as what they laid out seems to have been, “well, we’ll tell you if we think the president has immunity for this or that act, or not.” They opened the door to lawless corruption from the White House, and no way to rein it in. I’m not a historian, but I’ve listened to enough historians in the last several days to know that wasn’t what the authors of the Constitution intended.

I don’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade or picnic (pass the marshymallows!) I just had to get this out of my head. In the meantime…

Here are some pandas!

The only way out is through, and the only way through is to vote like everyone’s life depends on it. They want us to be demoralized and stay home. Don’t fall for it.

Be the BEAR!
Bob T Vote Blue all the way up and down the ballot Panda

It’s Debatable

6 Replies

Oh boy. Here we go. Election Season 2024 is officially off and running. Zoonooz is on the scene once again with a preview of the first debate (not to mention some predictions for the RNC Convention/clusterf**k)

I hope you have your snacks, some strong adult beverages and a protective screen for your TV/computer screen in case something accidentally leaves your hand at great velocity.

Feel free to check in with your observations, in the comments! Wheee!

Vote Early! Vote Often! Vote Pinky!*

*not really

Ready or not, here they come

Be the Bear
Bob T wake me when it’s over Panda

There are BEARS in the Woods?????

4 Replies

Recently the inter webs were all up in arms over the question someone posed: If you were a woman alone in the woods, would you rather run into a man or a bear?

This is one of those if a tree falls in the forest philosophical questions. Naturally many people (dare I say men?) re-interpreted the question to be: would you (a woman) rather get attacked by a man or a bear?

That was NOT the Question!!!

We have called on our own experts on bears in the woods to answer the question.

Bob wasn’t really on assignment (before you ask) he just didn’t fit in the panels with Frank and Mikey!

Be the Bear!
Bob T is not on assignment Panda

Nixon’s Ghost is Feeling Morally Superior

4 Replies

It only seems fair that Nixon’s Ghost would want to take a victory lap after You Know Who received 34 guilty verdicts in his Manhattan fraudulent business record/election jiggery pokery trial that ended last week. Who knew the jury would return a grand slam worth of guilty verdicts? To be fair, no one KNEW, but we all hoped.

I’m going to take it as a good sign

If you need more Pinky stickers (or any of the other stickers I have over at Redbubble), they are 50% off 10 small stickers and they have free shipping for sticker only orders right now!

Be the Bear!
Bob T is not guilty Panda

California Dreaming!

8 Replies

The newest residents of Panda Canyon have gotten their golden tickets to their new home! We don’t know exactly when they will arrive, but reports are for sometime this summer. Like the Three Chipmunks sang, “Wee can hardly stand the wait…“

The San Diego Panda Dynasty continues!

Of course ZooNooZ scored the first interview!

For explanations about Yun Chuan’s vocal stylings, and reports on Xin Bao’s witticisms, do visit the San Diego Zoo’s write up of the new cubbies!

Be the Bear
Bob T I’m excited! Are you? Panda

Un-Indicted And It Feels So GOOD!

2 Replies

The un-indicted co-conspirators are starting to pile up!

We had to take one more day off from Pandarella, to point out that there was beginning to be an unseemly number of un-indicted co-conspirators, in various criminal prosecutions around the country, concerned with the fake electors grab that was orchestrated (ALLEGEDLY) by Mittens and his henchmen.

We will definitely be back next week with the next installment of Pandarella, but maybe for at least short term, we will have to limit it to one episode a week, since there is so much OTHER stuff going on! New pandas arriving this summer in Pandiego! Escaped zebras in the North Cascades! Another ducky demise episode at Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle! (Pookie 1: I thought dey said dey WERE lunch!) And that is not even considering the trials of the most crimingest ex “president” this country has ever experienced!

Meanwhile, the un-indicted co-conspirator in chief would like a word…

Take a deep breath and go outside! Play with a duck! Remember: Friend, not food!

Be the Bear
Bob T not yet indicted Panda

We Interrupt Our Feature presentation For This Important Announcement

8 Replies

Don’t think this means I’m going to let you weenies off the hook from our incredibly suspenseful and slightly scary story, but first…

THEY’RE COMING! THEY’RE COMING!!!!!

Meanwhile, the Mittens is a Sleeze and financial/election cheat trial continues, with Eric getting the short straw in the “Take your Daddy to Court Day” competition between his family members.

Get ready to meet in Pandiego!!!

Be the Bear
Bob T I am counting the days Panda

There’s no Fool Like an April Fool