Here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we take our commitment to mental health (ours and yours) very seriously, and while we do feel a need to pontificate about our ongoing political nightmare, we are going to do our best to keep Mittens and his fascist minions off of the ZooNooZ stage.
Unlike certain TV networks, we have not offered lucrative contracts for Mittens apologists to spread their nonsense on our ‘toon waves.
We are, we should add, powerless to keep Pinky off ZooNooZ.
I am not a sports person. I have heard of the so-called March Madness of (I think) college basketball tournaments. I have never watched said contests, or bet on them and have no interest in doing so. Don’t ask.
But as you may recall, Pinky won a bracket sort of competition back when she was Baby Pinky, and beat out a whole bunch of things for the Smifsonian Icon of the year.
Pinky thought it was time to win at everything again. Or something like that.
Things are heating up in politics land. It’s going to be a challenge to keep our sanity. Remember, when the going gets tough, you need pandas or cuppycakes or maybe both!
For the mathematically challenged among us, why can’t we have a day for PIE? In fact why can’t we have pie every day? Pandas do not live by cake alone. They must also have pie!
Meanwhile, we watch the GQP being taken over as the party of Tr**p in real time. We would really be better off with pandas in charge.
If you haven’t watched Scarlett Johansson’s spot on satire of the GQP “response” to the State of the Union address, I suggest you get over to the You-tubbies tout sweet! I mean, the actual response seemed like it had been done by SNL, so it must have practically written itself, so to speak.
State of the Union, State of the Pandas…can you have one without the other? I wouldn’t think so. While the State of the Union, if Mittens and his evil minions are to be believed, is hanging by a thread. But if you look at the actual accomplishments of Handsome Joe and the pre-dysfunctional Congress, there is much to stand up and cheer about.
Not least of which, the pandas will be returning to PanDiego
Meanwhile, the question on everyone’s mind tonight: will Marge embarrass herself again by acting like a yahoo at a basketball game? Or will there be other interruptions?
Any one want to take bets on whether Pinky shows up before Marge makes her first uncouth remark?
We are still celebrating the impending arrival later this year, of a new generation of pandas in Panda Canyon! We *might* need to distract ourselves from current events.
Of course, Pinky has inserted herself into the process of welcoming the next California pandas!
Be the Bear! Bob T will we never be free of Mittens? Panda
Pinky had some thoughts she wanted to share about the (hopefully) arriving pandas to the Pandiego Zoo later this year. I say hopefully, because as we know, many things can go wrong between now and then, so while I’m keeping my fingers crossed and my thoughts hopeful, I’m not all in on positivity, if you take my meaning.
Isn’t it reassuring that Pinky is so consistent in her viewpoint?
Once again, one of my faithful readers has come through with a VERY IMPORTANT Nooz story about…
Bears!
Could it be part of a sinister plot, coordinated from afar by Henrietta (or the bear formerly known as Hank), who now lives at a luxury resort for wayward bears? Is there an army of bears going around the towns near Lake Tahoe putting up posters admonishing people NOT to use bear-proof receptacles for their garbage? Maybe leaving a double cheese, double pepperoni pizza on top of the garbage can sometimes?
But seriously, feeding wildlife is a bad idea. Especially bears. Would you want to wake up and have Frank or Mikey looking in your bedroom window, wondering where breakfast was?
In other NooZ, things are heating up in the trials of Mittens. Frank, Bikkie, and Pookie are STILL on their adventure, and I promise I’ll get back to it soon. I’m also doing my Year in Reviewover on Substack so go check it out!
Till later…be the bear! Bob T pass the pizza Panda
Thanks and a Roll of Honor mention to my brother for alerting me to this important story!
Can you tell I just watched The Big Lebowski again?
As we go to press here, TFG is hopefully getting schooled by the 2nd Circuit, on the facts and the laws, which he is not above. As more than one person has mentioned, if the president is above the law, what is to stop our current Commander in Chief from throwing tfg’s ass in jail and declaring HIMSELF dictator for life?
We have assembled the best legal minds available to appear on ZooNooZ (Barbara McQuade was not available) to discuss why Mittens cannot use The Pinky Defense.
You would think it would be self evident.
A brief note about the weather: I am setting this up on Monday, to be posted on Tuesday, just in time for the 2nd circuit to laugh in TFG’s face. Really, the fact that I even know what the 2nd Circuit is, grieves me no end. What happened to my apolitical, apathetic existence? It’s been RUINED!!! That’s what! I never wanted to be informed about political stuff!
Anyway…where was I? oh yeah. Weather. We are supposed to start getting some serious wind in a couple hours, which means there is a good possibility we will lose electric power. I’ve been charging what can be recharged, putting fresh batteries in flashlights, and organizing ice packs for the freezer and food to go in the cooler on my porch. If I don’t open the freezer or fridge, it can go for at least 2 days, maybe 3 if we have a long outage.
Wish me luck!
Till the lights come back on, Be the bear! Bob T can I use the Pinky Defense Panda
