Category Archives: ZooNooz

It’s Hot! Hot! Hot! Indictment Summer!

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We’ve been waiting such a long time already!

Not that we would cheapen this event with tasteless revelry or anything like that. I hope we will be forgiven for looking towards this with some degree of anticipation.

Panda commerce note: I’m getting ready to make my original paintings from the book The Panda Cub Swap, (written by Beth Bacon and illustrated by me) available for sale. If you have a favorite painting from the book, please feel free to contact me via the contact us page/form and let me know.

Also, Amazon is raising printing prices as of June 20th this year, and I will need to raise prices so I get the same pittance I already get. So, if you were thinking about acquiring the Panda Chronicles library (10 Books! ) now would be a really good time! The latest book is the definitive look at the political cluster**k of the last 6 years! The only way to consider those times is with pandas!

Keep Being the Bear!
Bob T I know nothing about any duckies at Woodland Park Zoo Panda

Yes, We Are Sick of the Debt Ceiling

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This is the last thing I’m going to say about the childish, vindictive GQP who would rather see the entire world go to cwap than let a Democratic president get any credit for doing something well.

Okay…probably not the last thing in general, but the last thing about the debt ceiling.

I. Can’t. Even.

Be the Bear,
Bob T can we just get on with it Panda

Have We Seen the Last of Barker?

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Alas…probably not. Like a bad penny, he is likely to turn up where we least expect him, and want him there even less. And in case you were wondering, it is true that he once did a segment on his “show” about pandas being sex crazed and vicious. Humph! The nerve!

We will return to our previous story next week. In the meantime, hold onto your hats. I wish we could say it will be all pandas all the time, but there are (alas!) powerful forces in the world that we must (we must! we must!) comment on.

Be the Bear
Bob T and the Pookies! Panda

Buh Bye Barker (Part 1)

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It is a true fact, and therefore not defamatory, that Tucker Carlson was “let go” (aka sent to a farm upstate) by Foxxy Nooz. So sad! Alas, we likely have not seen the last of him. More terrible things are happening out in the real world. We can’t even. Noo shit has come to light about Rooty Patootie (aka “Amurika’s Mayor”) that I can barely even read about, let alone write about it here.

If the ‘toons are not all pandas, all the time, it is the fault of reality and my inability to ignore it. Deal with it.

We’re just asking questions!

Be the Bear
Bob T is not sure of survival Panda

Bears Will be Bears

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Who would have guessed that bears could smell the soda WHILE IT WAS STILL IN THE CAN?

Also that they don’t like diet soda.

Alert readers clued me in to this story about a bear who mistook this woman’s Subearu for a soda machine!

It DEFINITELY was not Frank or Mikey (or Pookie!)

Be the Bear!
Bob T did we mention Tucker got fired Panda

Barker Carlson is O-U-T at Foxy Nooz!!!!

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I had another ‘toon planned for today, but this morning one of my very alert Panda-spondants alerted me to the VERY exciting nooz, that Tucker Carlson had been fired! No buh bye broadcast, no nothing, although I’m sure he left with his pockets stuffed with filthy “sorry we had to fire you so you wouldn’t cost us more” lucre, no doubt. I imagine they had to do that on top of just agreeing to pay Dominion Voting Software $787.5 MILLION bucks.

In honor of the exodus of Barker from Foxy Nooz, I thought I would share some of his finest moments, as dramatized by The Panda Chronicles. It is the best place to get the Nooz, after all!

Did I just see what I thought I saw?

Then there were his Panda Defamation statements!!!!

truth
Foxxy “News” lies like a rug.
truth
Pandas COULD bite your head off if they really wanted to.
When the truth is found… to beeee lies….

While, I’m sure we have not seen the last of Barker, it is gratifying in a schaudenfreudenish way to know that there was actually a line, he crossed it, and got canned. Of course we know the line is how much money was his continued presence going to cost old Rupert, but still… I, for one, am happy that he is having a really bad day.

Alas, we know that there is much mischief this malignant man-child is capable of. I mean…if you thought TFG was bad. Could this be the shove that propels him into politics? I hope not, but the way things are going, I wouldn’t hold my breath for Glinda, the Good Witch of the North to show up any time soon.

Till next time…

Be the Bear!
Bob T I wasn’t the one who got fired today Panda

Nixon’s Ghost Still Won’t Go Away

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Ya know, no matter how much we would like Stupid Watergate to go away, it will not.

Twice impeached, indicted on 34 counts (so far), still committing (alleged) crimes left and right….

Be the Bear
Bob T what’s a little larceny among friends Panda

BTW I have another post on Substack and they have a new Twidder-like thingie called Notes. If you are subscribed to my Noozletter, you can hop onto notes and join the conversation. So far, there are a lot of the writers showing pictures of their cats a dogs. I think they could use more pandas!

Fugitive Tigers Terrify in Tornado Tempest

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I am much better at finding “P” words than I am at “T” words, other than Trouble that starts with a capital “T” and that rhymes with “P” and that stands for PANDA!!! The Nooz crossed my screen about some tigers that escaped during a recent tornado that touched down somewhere in Georgia, fell on the fence of the tiger enclosure and wouldn’t you know? Cats, being cats, they escaped! Hopefully they didn’t find any poodles (poodles are what tigers like best!) and maybe only found a shouty blonde congress”person”.

Here kitty kitty!

I wanted to let those of you who *might* miss me on Twidder (No judgment if you’re still there, but I just can’t bring myself to be there) that Substack has this new thing called “Notes” which is a Twidder-like conversation space. In fact, it is enough like Twidder, that it has Elmo pissed off and he is blocking links to Substack posts. (Hopefully without the a**holes, but we’ll see) and I think if you are subscribed to any of the Noozletters there (like mine, for instance) you can converse there too. Is it worth it? Who knows? But if you want to say hi to me there, you can. You can follow this link to get started.

Be the Bear
Bob T watch out for tigers Panda