Category Archives: ZooNooz

Barker Carlson is O-U-T at Foxy Nooz!!!!

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I had another ‘toon planned for today, but this morning one of my very alert Panda-spondants alerted me to the VERY exciting nooz, that Tucker Carlson had been fired! No buh bye broadcast, no nothing, although I’m sure he left with his pockets stuffed with filthy “sorry we had to fire you so you wouldn’t cost us more” lucre, no doubt. I imagine they had to do that on top of just agreeing to pay Dominion Voting Software $787.5 MILLION bucks.

In honor of the exodus of Barker from Foxy Nooz, I thought I would share some of his finest moments, as dramatized by The Panda Chronicles. It is the best place to get the Nooz, after all!

Did I just see what I thought I saw?

Then there were his Panda Defamation statements!!!!

truth
Foxxy “News” lies like a rug.
truth
Pandas COULD bite your head off if they really wanted to.
When the truth is found… to beeee lies….

While, I’m sure we have not seen the last of Barker, it is gratifying in a schaudenfreudenish way to know that there was actually a line, he crossed it, and got canned. Of course we know the line is how much money was his continued presence going to cost old Rupert, but still… I, for one, am happy that he is having a really bad day.

Alas, we know that there is much mischief this malignant man-child is capable of. I mean…if you thought TFG was bad. Could this be the shove that propels him into politics? I hope not, but the way things are going, I wouldn’t hold my breath for Glinda, the Good Witch of the North to show up any time soon.

Till next time…

Be the Bear!
Bob T I wasn’t the one who got fired today Panda

Nixon’s Ghost Still Won’t Go Away

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Ya know, no matter how much we would like Stupid Watergate to go away, it will not.

Twice impeached, indicted on 34 counts (so far), still committing (alleged) crimes left and right….

Be the Bear
Bob T what’s a little larceny among friends Panda

BTW I have another post on Substack and they have a new Twidder-like thingie called Notes. If you are subscribed to my Noozletter, you can hop onto notes and join the conversation. So far, there are a lot of the writers showing pictures of their cats a dogs. I think they could use more pandas!

Fugitive Tigers Terrify in Tornado Tempest

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I am much better at finding “P” words than I am at “T” words, other than Trouble that starts with a capital “T” and that rhymes with “P” and that stands for PANDA!!! The Nooz crossed my screen about some tigers that escaped during a recent tornado that touched down somewhere in Georgia, fell on the fence of the tiger enclosure and wouldn’t you know? Cats, being cats, they escaped! Hopefully they didn’t find any poodles (poodles are what tigers like best!) and maybe only found a shouty blonde congress”person”.

Here kitty kitty!

I wanted to let those of you who *might* miss me on Twidder (No judgment if you’re still there, but I just can’t bring myself to be there) that Substack has this new thing called “Notes” which is a Twidder-like conversation space. In fact, it is enough like Twidder, that it has Elmo pissed off and he is blocking links to Substack posts. (Hopefully without the a**holes, but we’ll see) and I think if you are subscribed to any of the Noozletters there (like mine, for instance) you can converse there too. Is it worth it? Who knows? But if you want to say hi to me there, you can. You can follow this link to get started.

Be the Bear
Bob T watch out for tigers Panda

Animals Are United: Don’t Let the GOP Co-opt Us

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Well…first the elephants rebelled. “We are kind, we take care of all vulnerable members of our community. We are loyal and we remember those who have treated us kindly. Is there ANYTHING in that description that makes you think of the GOP? I think not.”

So we thought…spineless…shape shifting…poisonous…I know! Jellyfish!

But alas…

I could not resist

Be the Bear!
Bob T I have the sense of humor of an 8th grader Panda

It’s Time for Another LiarpalOOza!

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I thought KittySue would jut go away after Mittens lost, but nooooooo! She’s STILL HERE!!! How can we miss you if you won’t go away. (We say that a lot, don’t we?) And now, we have the Liar-in-Training, Georgie Porgy, a very promising candidate for biggest liar ever! He has big shoes to fill if he wants to go up against KittySue (she’s available!) and Mittens.

And remember! The parts of republican characters here are now played by spineless jelly fish. The elephants just weren’t having it any more!

My head hursts. Will these spineless jellyfish just go away and leave us in peace?

Thanks to all who have bought Litter Box of Chaos! I’m glad SOMETHING good came out of Mittens’ reign of terror! And even bigger thanks to those who have left glowing reviews on Amazon! It really helps get my book moved up in the dreaded algorithm!

Be the Bear!
Bob T nothing to add today Panda

Insurrection Update!

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Surely, you don’t want to rely on all that main stream media to hear the latest! No! You want a reliable NooZ source! One with Pandas! And cats!

You can always trust what a panda tells you!*

*Um…unless maybe if it’s Pinky or PPJ.

Hang on to your hats. It’s gonna be…um…well, you know.

Be the Bear
Bob T why isn’t this over Panda

Hey! Yes you! Did you know I have a new book collection of my ‘toons you read here? It’s Book 10 of The Panda Chronicles: Litter Box of Chaos – The Mittens years. Yes, its my political leaning ‘toons from the last 5 years and you can get it on Amazon!

If you like it, it really helps with visibility and sales if you leave a review. It doesn’t need to be long! One or two sentences saying you peed your pants you were laughing so hard or that coffee squirted out your nose. Thank you!

More about the so- called Sedition Panda

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It hurts my fingers to type that phrase!

This is Panda Defamation. I’m pretty sure there is a law against that!

I mean if that P.A.B. (look it up in the Congressional Record) Ron DeSanctus wants to make bloggers who want to say mean things about him register with the state of Floriduh, it surely must be illegal to portray pandas in an unflattering way!

Be the Bear!
Bob T I’ll say anything I want about Floriduh Panda

boop-da-boop-boop-boop!

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This just in!

Noo s**t has come to light!

I know you were all waiting to hear what PPJ’s cunning plan was, but we just had to deal with this SHOCKING Nooz story!!! We are a Nooz show, after all!

And yes, someone DID have the bad taste to dress up as a panda and then commit a crime!

Be the Bear
Bob T there should be a law against impersonating pandas Panda