Tag Archives: 2016 election

The Essential Pandaness of Being

I just came home from a small memorial gathering for a friend who died earlier this year. He was a sweet man who definitely should not have gotten cancer and died, because he was one of the nicest men I ever met, and his wife is a lovely person who did not deserve to lose her best friend.

As you might imagine, I have quite a list of people who definitely would not be missed should they vanish from the face of the earth. I suspect you could guess who at least some of those people are. I suppose it is not very charitable of me to have this list, but after the last 5 years, I am not concerned with the justice or fairness of my list.

I thought of this ‘toon, made for a dear departed friend 8 years ago…

It’s hard not to think about justice or fairness when you watch even a little bit of the hearings for the SCOTUS nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson. I admit to wishing that a piano might fall on the head of some of her interrogators. Why is it that an eminently qualified and compassionate individual like Judge Brown Jackson should be rudely condescended to by people who have less integrity than something I scraped off my shoe? To quote (with a slight paraphrase) the SNL parody of the Justice Beer Keg hearing, “You give her a damn robe and let her do what ever she wants, and put her on the court NOW!!!”

I hope that when she returned home each day from this circus, that she was met at the door by her husband and daughters, with a pitcher of martinis, confetti and balloons, and a stack of plates to smash on the back patio. I will be so proud when she takes her place on the court.

And if we need a reminder of what we have endured these last 5 years…

day after — Remember the song “The Eve of Destruction”? That’s what today feels like.

inauguration — Hey, save some cuppycakes for me!

I’m about to send a nice big check to the Whatcom County Humane Society because you, the panda (and cat!) fans have supported my Felty Cats for Actual Cats project. Thank you for all who have chosen a little felty companion (and helped to make a little more space on the windmills in my felty studio). I still have 10 kitties left if you were waiting (for some reason). If you order before the end of March, you will get an extra surprise!

Be the Bear! (or cat)
Bob T Panda

There Will Be Tigers

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Disturbing news…I mean NooZ… came from the Bronx Zoo this week, when it was discovered that at least one of the tigers and several lions had contracted COVID-19, probably from one of the keepers who was asymptomatic. (This is a correction from earlier when I said it was the Woodland Park Zoo with the plague-ridden tigers. I think I confused a news story I read later, because the WPZ was checking their big cats for COVID 19 infections after the Bronx Zoo news.) This has troubling implications, for owners…I mean servants of domestic cats. It is unknown whether it could be passed back and forth from you to your cat, so you might want to wash your hands after playing with Mr. Kitty and refrain from kissing your cat on the lips. I don’t know anyone who might have done this. 🙄

While we wait for the Woodland Park Zoo tiger to have his interview on ZooNooZ, I’ve assembled some of the previous appearances of tigers here at The Panda Chronicles. But first, I wanted to share a video sent to me by a friend of panda satire!

We have had all too much disturbing news, and more comes across our screens every day. All too often I find myself riding the downward spiral into despair that life will ever return to normal. Every trip to Twitter-land reveals heartrending stories of love and loss, but also uplifting stories of hope and kindness. While I will never quit poking at injustice and moronic anti-leadership, I want to make sure what we roll with is not all rant! Pandas are fun and light and love, after all (just ask the Hong Kong pandas! “What do you MEAN have I seen youtube???”)

So, before we enjoy tiger palooza, I share this video sent to me by one of the friends of the panda kindergarten. Make sure you take note of the socks at the 1:31 and 1:42 time stamps!

And now, let’s get up close and personal with tigers!

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

You know we’re just kidding about this, right?

I really had no idea what she was up to.

I think we need some more encore presentations of Pinky’s last run for the White House, don’t you?

There were no tigers involved in this plan, so it must be okay, right?

Aren’t you already in enough trouble, Pinky?

Pinky enlists her brother's help in her scheme

“Just run along and put these brochures where people will see them!”

You knew Mommee was going to get angry, didn’t you?

And remember, if we stop laughing, the terrorist has won. Stay safe, stay home, wash your hands (with soap and water, don’t just lick them!) and vote in November!

Panda on!
Wands up, everyone!
Bob T Panda

A Halloween Carol

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Yes, it’s time for that other holiday favorite, A Halloween Carol! (With apologies to Dickens! Sorry, Chuck!)

Let’s get right to it, shall we? Our story opens….

Bubba’s first feature role!

you…is…not…da…yawn…boss of…pinky…

Mr Wu makes a very cute ghost, don’t you think?

Hey! who said Wu could poof things?

One of Pinky’s misdeeds has come back to haunt her… can her campaign survive this?

Hmmm… Pinky still does not seem impressed. Perhaps the ghost of Halloween present will have more influence over her.

Uh oh, the ghost of halloween present just caught up with Pinky…

Was that list in small type, single spaced?

The Spirit of Halloweens yet to come is not a spirit to be messed with, right?

Surely you didn’t think she would totally reform, did you?

This series was originally broadcast in September and October of 2015.

Let that be a lesson to all who need a lesson, AmIRight?

Panda on!
Bob T Panda

And as a special bonus:

He’s small for now, but Bubba Bei Bei is shaping up to be a whole lot of panda!

31 Days of Pandas: Year in Review: March

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March came in like a panda: sleeping half the day, and spent the rest of the time looking for Cuppycakes. It was also the month of the annual Pandamonium Panda Convention, this time in beautiful PanDiego!

Let’s see what the pandas rustled up in March!

Babette and her many admirers, at a Panda Convention dinner party!

Some things never change…

Well, she does have a valid point…

2018 saw the publication of another Panda Chronicles Collection, featuring none other that Princess Pinky! (Pinky sez you might want to give them for ALL your holiday gifts!)

Don’t ignore Princess Pinky! #ClapLouder

This was one of my favorite ‘toons of the year…

Well *bleep* and take your *bleep* and stick it *bleep*!!!!

I think we all need a little emotional support these days…(That’s why they invented six-packs of cuppycakes)

Yes, Pinky. I’m sure Mr. Bun IS emotionally supportive!

This ‘toon took on even more personal significance this fall when a gunman entered The Tree of Life Synagogue and killed 11 people, and shot and injured someone I know. Thankfully he has survived, but 11 others that day were not so lucky. Several of the brave responders were shot as well. When is enough, enough? I’d say that day came years ago.

WE will accept NO support from the NRA

I know this is supposed to be the March edition of The Year in Review, but it kind of went with the previous ‘toon, theme wise!

April Fools Day has always been my favorite holiday

Panda On (and on…and on…and on…)
Bob T Panda

Hey! Don’t forget to get this book!

Isn’t this just perfectly pinky?

31 Days of Pandas: Year in Review: February

I really hate it when I’m right about stuff…

In fact, not only was as bad as we thought it would be, it was worse.

But there are always a few bright spots…

Aw, Pinky…Bubba loves you!

All that practicing for the Olympics really paid off, don’t you think?

Skate faster, Boo boo!

Four pandas are better than two.

The world swoons….

Tune in tomorrow as we march towards March!

Panda On
Bob T Panda

Day 30: 31 Days of Pandas

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Day 30????? Do you know what that means? There is only One. More. Day. of 31 Days of Pandas!!!!

How could it come to such an abrupt, bitter end? Where will we find the pandas we need and crave??? Um..Hey! it’s not like I’m going anywhere! Panda satire will be right here where you left it! Of course you could have your own 31 days of Pandas, or even 131 days of pandas if you had all of the Panda Chronicles books in your home library!!

Meanwhile, we intercepted several communiques from the inbox of Princess Pinky, who is hard at work (really? No, just kidding!) on her latest literary triumph, The Panda Chronicles Book 8: The Pinky Defense. We think it bears (!) careful study!

Dere Unka Jeroen

I should be listed in ebbry category. See dat dis doesn’t happen again.

Sincerely,
Princess Pinky Bao Bao
Dujiangyan, China
Vote early, vote often, vote PINKY!!!!
Sent from my MePhone, the choice of pandas everywhere.

To which she received this reply:

Dear Princess Pinky!
I hope the panda chronicles will ask all your fans to vote a lot for you!
Good luck!
Kind regards,

Jeroen Jacobs
Giant Panda Global

Sounds mighty suspicious, if you ask me! But now, let’s read some ‘toons! And because I love you, here is the ENTIRE story of Pinky, Bubba, and the Canadian Twins!

Bubba: but why should I be in trubble?

I’ll talk! I’ll talk!

Pinky and the Twinkies, eh?

“If Pinky is grounded, can I have her dessert?”

uh oh…

Um…I think Pinky has Daddee wrapped around her fuzzy little paw. Just saying.

Ooooh! Did Daddee actually yell at Pinky?

What do you mean you left a note saying they are at my house?

Bubba is having so much fun with his new friends!

Hey! Where did Bubba and Mr. Bun go?

There may be political concussions!

See you in January back on our regular schedule, new ‘toons on Sunday and Wednesday, and encore presentations on Fake Facts Friday. You like it? I invented all those words!

#Resist!

Panda On
Bob T Panda

Day 4: 31 Days of Pandas

But not too many, because, you know, it will make us sad and scared.

Pay us enough money and we’ll say just about anything!

Is it just my imagination or does Mittens look even more crazed than before?

Okay, Okay! Now as an antidote, we move on the the adorable Wu Self!!!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of BooBeer!

“You are right and Wu is wrong…I’ll never do it again, mommy.”

Did we mention you could visit Mr. Wu at the 2018 Panda Convention?

And since it is the Season to Give the Gift of Pandas, may we respectfully suggest that nothing makes people happier than pandas, and what could be better than a seasonal Panda mug?

Have yourself a Pandy little Christmas…

Panda On, as best we can!
Bob T Panda

Day 4: 31 Days of Pandas

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Before we get to Sunday’s feature cartoon, here is today’s 31 Days of Pandas offering. As you all know, pandas adore cuppycakes and when in London, all pandas head for Peggy Porschen’s Cakes! It’s hard not to read this as “I’d like a piggy portion of cake,” but that’s not the name of the place. The name is Peggy, NOT piggy!

Here is Bob waiting in line to get some cuppycakes!

I’ll have…um…4 of everything.

And now…here’s today’s ‘toon!

Is Bob still trying to have opinions? Wait! am I a celebrity?

Be the Bear…
Bob T Panda, from the Island of Misfit Pandas (Thank you A.M.Y.!)

What Do You Have To Lose?

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We’ve been hearing this phrase quite often lately: What do you have to lose? Throughout my life, I’ve experienced ups and downs, good times and bad. But as a white, middle class American who has had the privilege of a good education, I know that even in hard times, those times were not as hard as they could have been. As a female in America, I also know that I have had to work harder for the things I have than males in the same circumstances.

The world is a scary place these days. I get that. But I think it can be made less scary by trying to work together, rather than trying to drive people apart. Ask yourself, based on what you actually see and hear directly from the candidates, as opposed to what “some people are saying,” which candidate will lead the country to a better place. We are not going to agree what that better place is unilaterally. But I’m holding out hope for a kinder world. One where our leader does not discriminate, belittle, or mock those who are different or disadvantaged.

Could we just take a deep breath and embrace our inner panda?

Mittens is really back.

Nah…I didn’t think so either.

Stay tuned for our next episode, when we learn that Bubba has a cunning plan! Pinky has taught him well!

Be the Bear,

Bob T Panda

Who Are You Calling a Loser?

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Oh my! Pinky called the other zoo residents Loser Animals! I don’t know if they will let her get away with this! And no way Mommee Mei is going to let her “Phexit” the Panda House! Has Pinky been channeling Mittens the Cat?

I just don’t know, dude!

Mommee Mei puts her foot down.

I guess Pinky will have to come up with a new plan.

Be the Bear
Bob T Panda