Alas…probably not. Like a bad penny, he is likely to turn up where we least expect him, and want him there even less. And in case you were wondering, it is true that he once did a segment on his “show” about pandas being sex crazed and vicious. Humph! The nerve!
We will return to our previous story next week. In the meantime, hold onto your hats. I wish we could say it will be all pandas all the time, but there are (alas!) powerful forces in the world that we must (we must! we must!) comment on.
It is a true fact, and therefore not defamatory, that Tucker Carlson was “let go” (aka sent to a farm upstate) by Foxxy Nooz. So sad! Alas, we likely have not seen the last of him. More terrible things are happening out in the real world. We can’t even. Noo shit has come to light about Rooty Patootie (aka “Amurika’s Mayor”) that I can barely even read about, let alone write about it here.
If the ‘toons are not all pandas, all the time, it is the fault of reality and my inability to ignore it. Deal with it.
So as I recall, PPJ showed up, poofed Frank, Mikey, Bikkie, and Pookie into a hot air balloon and off they went. Meanwhile, Josie finally found her way from Alaska to the Panda House at the National Zoo.
Okay! you are caught up.
Meanwhile, Friend to Bears Lucilla suggested that a gathering of pandas to say farewell to Ya Ya as she returns to China would be a fun thing. I immediately pounced (like a cat!) on this as a way to wrap up a story that seemed (like a hot air balloon) to be drifting aimlessly on the breeze.
Maybe don’t stand right under the balloon?
Be the Bear! Bob T I bet somebody is gonna get grounded Panda
Sadly, we are destined to be a country without pandas in the next year or two. San Diego’s pandas were sent to China in 2019, and the pandemic, not to mention TFG’s crappy stances on China meant we weren’t going to get a new panda loan agreement any time soon. Noted panda writer Henry Nicholls wrote an opinion piece for CNN about our addiction to domesticated pandas. That might not be quite how he put it, but he does have a point.
Pandas in the wild are different animals, and now it appears there may be some genetic difference between pandas that live in the wild and pandas that grew up on the all you can eat cruise ship model. “Pandas are solitary? Who knew?!!!!” said a group of pandas sitting around the table chowing down on boo shoots while playing Mah Jong.
Any way, now Ya Ya is on her way back to Beijing, alas without Le Le who succumbed to a previously undiagnosed heart ailment.
Could story lines collide soon? I guess we’ll find out.
Stay tuned for further developments!
Be the Bear! Bob T pass the endless boo buffet Panda
If you haven’t read Henry Nicholls’ The Way of the Panda, you should fix that immediately. It’s a great book about all things pandas, the politics of pandas, and there is a cameo appearance of a ‘toon that was perhaps done by your favorite practitioner of panda satire! My literary claim to fame!
I had another ‘toon planned for today, but this morning one of my very alert Panda-spondants alerted me to the VERY exciting nooz, that Tucker Carlson had been fired! No buh bye broadcast, no nothing, although I’m sure he left with his pockets stuffed with filthy “sorry we had to fire you so you wouldn’t cost us more” lucre, no doubt. I imagine they had to do that on top of just agreeing to pay Dominion Voting Software $787.5 MILLION bucks.
In honor of the exodus of Barker from Foxy Nooz, I thought I would share some of his finest moments, as dramatized by The Panda Chronicles. It is the best place to get the Nooz, after all!
Did I just see what I thought I saw?
Then there were his Panda Defamation statements!!!!
Foxxy “News” lies like a rug.Pandas COULD bite your head off if they really wanted to.When the truth is found…
to beeee lies….
While, I’m sure we have not seen the last of Barker, it is gratifying in a schaudenfreudenish way to know that there was actually a line, he crossed it, and got canned. Of course we know the line is how much money was his continued presence going to cost old Rupert, but still… I, for one, am happy that he is having a really bad day.
Alas, we know that there is much mischief this malignant man-child is capable of. I mean…if you thought TFG was bad. Could this be the shove that propels him into politics? I hope not, but the way things are going, I wouldn’t hold my breath for Glinda, the Good Witch of the North to show up any time soon.
Till next time…
Be the Bear! Bob T I wasn’t the one who got fired today Panda
Ya know, no matter how much we would like Stupid Watergate to go away, it will not.
Twice impeached, indicted on 34 counts (so far), still committing (alleged) crimes left and right….
Be the Bear Bob T what’s a little larceny among friends Panda
BTW I have another post on Substack and they have a new Twidder-like thingie called Notes. If you are subscribed to my Noozletter, you can hop onto notes and join the conversation. So far, there are a lot of the writers showing pictures of their cats a dogs. I think they could use more pandas!
