Tag Archives: cats

Fabulous Furry Friday: #WeREndangered!

Sunday’s cartoon was a lot of fun for me, and not just because of my coffee slinging history. I like it when Mehitabel has a chance to wig out and give the pandas a little what for.

Several people wrote in their comments that they would love to have a #WeREndangered coffee mug too, so I got right on it. I have a very neglected Cafe Press store, where you can buy things with various members of the Panda Chronicles on them. I know it is really time for some updated inventory, but only so many hours of the day and all that, you know.

I’ve long been wanting to design something with the Pandy Kindy in their Fez Mobile (or as I like to call it, their mobile fez-book app) and it occurred to me that this was the perfect place!

What could be more endangered than joyriding pandas NOT wearing seat belts?

Because I love the idea that people can find my pandas here and read them for free, I try not to lean too heavily on the potential money making aspects of panda satire, because, that would be …um…annoying. However, making a little filthy lucre from selling books and panda satire products, does make it possible for me to keep doing this. At least until I get a MacArthur Genius Grant for Panda Satire, at which time I will just leave piles of my books on street corners for anyone who wants them…

And lest we forget that there STILL is no MacArthur Grant for Panda Satire….

So head over to the Cafe Press Pandyland store and order a couple of #WeREndangered coffee mugs! Heck! order a bunch for all your friends, and remember, without pandas, there can be no panda satire!

And to support pandas further, for every #WeREndangered mug that is ordered during the rest of April, we will make a liddle donation to Pandas International, because they are actually doing stuff to support pandas (and not just making fun of them like some people!)

Thanks for being the bear! Stay tuned to this station for some exciting announcements in the very near future, about panda princesses political perpetrations!

Bob T. Panda

Private email part 1

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Oh dear. How was Bob to know that he shouldn’t send official campaign emails through his private email account? I mean, he is a panda and it’s really hard to type on all those little tiny keys when you have big furry paws. Why should he have to remember more than one password, for crying out loud? It’s not like more than…um…three people voted for him.

Well, Bob may have some competition in the next election cycle. I’ve heard rumors that Babette de Panda may throw her chapeau into the ring, and Pinky may not be content with being an icon.

Vote for pandas! We’re endangered!

And…um, if you were procrastinating getting your taxes done, it’s time to bear up and get it done. I tried to find an amusing story to link to, but the only thing that didn’t make my head hurt was my own cartoon from last Friday. Sorry.

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

#WeREndangered

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As a recovering former employee of the largest coffee chain in the galaxy, it was with great amusement that I read of their campaign to “instigate meaningful dialog about racism.” Not that this country doesn’t need some meaningful dialog on this issue, but the vehicle chosen by this particular industry was, at best, not well considered, and at worst….well, just saying….

As someone who worked for many years behind the counters of food and coffee establishments, I can say with a good amount of certainty, that the last thing someone who is standing in line waiting for their coffee in the morning is meaningful dialog beyond “large, leave room for cream, make that a double.” It’s bad enough to be behind the person who orders a “half caff, skim almond milk, extra foam, sprinkle of yak butter, cinnamon, caramel pandachino” let alone have to wait for them to have meaningful dialog about anything.

And I can pretty much guarantee that the barista, gazing at the line of 20+ people who have not had their coffee yet, does not want any more meaningful dialog beyond, “will that be cash, charge, or your first born?”

So, really, if you want to do something meaningful to eliminate racism, sexism, or intolerance of any kind, wouldn’t it be more meaningful to um…hire more people of color, or diverse life style choices in upper management level positions, for example? What do ya say, Howard?

Please note: we just read of Starbuck’s pledge to support Gay Marriage, which we applaud, and in the spirit of this announcement, we cordially invite anyone who really hates this idea to quit reading The Panda Chronicles. Pandas are in favor of tolerance, you know.

Meanwhile, we invite you to take part in our #WeREndangered campaign, and engage in our own brand of meaningful dialog*

*Making fun of pandas

This was way too much fun. :o)

Can I have my coffee now?

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Don’t Bogart that Agenda

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It is really hard to make stuff up that is any funnier than what I hear on the news in real life. As you may know, (or may not, if you don’t pay attention to these sorts of things) that Washington State has legalized the sale and possession of Marijauna for consenting adults over the age of 21. Colorado, and possibly the District of Columbia have done so as well.

I listened in unabashed amusement, as I heard of a town in southeastern Washington that had gone one step further. Yep, the city council of North Bonneville had voted to open their own pot store. As much as I am not a fan of Foxy News, they did have the best (meaning most inflammatory) story about this.

Of course, Zoonooz had to comment on this.

Yo, don’t bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me….

Yeah, I know this doesn’t have anything to do with pandas.

Be the Bear (and pass the brownies!)
Bob T. Panda

Where Do We Go When…

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…we are poofed by a magical wand? This question has come up frequently (well, it does around here, I don’t know how often you come up against this problem!) at the offices at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire! Just where do we go when we are “poofed”?

We recently heard a story on NPR about an office in Tokyo, where nine cats live and work side by side with all the people in the office. They claim that it reduces the stress levels in their employees. I don’t know if my stress levels would be reduced if I arrived at my desk to find a great big hairball barfed up on a report I had been working on for two weeks. But hey, maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, when considering where Mehitabel would end up when Pinky “poofed” her, I thought that maybe this would be a good place for her to go.

Mehitabel! Can you take a meeting?

I didn’t know they worked, either, Bob.

Be the Bear, and if you can’t be a bear, be the cat!
Bob T. Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday Salutes…

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…Easter! Bring on the marshmallow peeps, the malted milk candy covered Easter eggs, the chocolate pandas and…what…wait…

What do you mean there are no chocolate pandas for my Easter basket. Only BUNNIES????? I thought Easter was all about pandas! and how the Easter Panda brings treats to all the good little girls and boys….

What’s Black and White and carries cuppycakes in a basket?

Of course, once certain members of the panda kindergarten came on the scene, the tradition became more of …um…a trick or treat kind of experience.

A tiskitt a taskitt , a great big wheelie basket!

Once again, Fabulous Furry Friday brings you the REAL story!

Be the (Easter) Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Pandas Go Wild!

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A recent article by noted international Pandologist Henry Nicholls was brought to my attention by alert reader, Susan S. In the article, Nicholls talks about how wild pandas don’t …um…have that embarrassing problem that some zoo pandas have. Those pandas really know how to go wild!

Of course we of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire felt compelled to embarrass zoo pandas one more time. I mean, it’s what we do around here, isn’t it?

Thanks guys! No, really.

Oh, you brute!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

The Cat Came Back

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I could hear the cries of despair from Mehitabel’s fans (and yes, she does have them) and I had no intention of letting her disappearance be permanent. So yes, the cat came back.

And so did Bob!

Despite the fact that Bob is still wearing his vacation outfit, he’s back and ready to report, observant as ever!

um…”ooopsie”?

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Look at that adorable face! Frosting wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

Will there be some consequences for Miss Pinky? Hmmmmmm… tune in next week.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Here, Kitty Kitty…

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Ooopsie! Here, kitty, kitty! Where are you?

Where does one go when one gets poofed by Pinky? I’m afraid I must admit to a certain amount of irresponsibility. I mean, this is fiction, right? Do I have to have an answer for everything???? Meanwhile, Pinky has to answer to a higher authority for her actions.

Yes: her mom. Just because she is now living on her own in real life, doesn’t mean the same rules apply here.

Now where did that cat go?

Small bears will get into trouble, won’t they?

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday!

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Fabulous Furry Friday brings you more encore presentations from the Panda Season of Love! We are working on some stories in this rich and extensive vein of pure panda gold, but in the meantime, here are some of our favorites from the past!

We would like to alert you to some recent stories and articles about the …um…romantic life of pandas. First, the news of 23 year old Bai Yun reigniting the flames of love in hopes of bringing a seventh cub into the world hit the internet this week. Unfortunately, her resident stud muffin was not quite up to the job, as he has had some um…health issues of late. not that he wasn’t willing, mind you.

And for those of you who may be saying Bai Yun deserves to retire from being a cubby producing machine, let me remind you, we are not talking about an irresponsible couple of teenagers in the backseat of a car. There are veterinarians, panda researchers, and Chinese panda experts who all had to sign off on this venture before they could proceed. If Bai Yun succeeds in having a cub this year, she will be the oldest panda mom on record to do so. They know what they are doing and so does Bai Yun. Nuff said.

Now, shall we quit being serious and get back to making fun of pandas?
Yes!

It was dark…there were men in masks….

Did you HAVE to mention that? Thanks for the New Yorker Article!

Will we ever hear the pitter patter of little paws in Scotland?

Um…pass the beer and poutine, please!

Have we embarrassed pandas enough? NO! If it isn’t bad enough cartoonists are making fun of pandas, how about having to be compared to wild pandas by noted science writer and esteemed pandologist, Henry Nicholls?

Whatever will the pandas standing around the water cooler say about that?

By the way, Did you know tomorrow is National Corn Dog Day? No, me neither. Do with this information what you will.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda