Tag Archives: cats

Pandas in the News

Those of you who have been following the exploits of Bob and the panda kindergarten for some time know that I am exceedingly fond of real news stories that either feature pandas or can be subverted to somehow be about pandas, even when they are not.

Are you following all that?

Anyway, our first story comes to us courtesy of alert readers Sarajane Eppley and Karen Willie, who both alerted me to this story about pandas’ relationship with themselves, or more accurately their reflections in mirrors. BBC Earth brings us this story about a peculiar panda particular!

This is a job for panda satire!

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is that handsome panda I see before me?

Thanks again to Karen and Sarajane for alerting me to this story. Tune in on Wednesday for another story of pandas in the news!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Chinese New Year Preview

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It’s almost time for Chinese new Year, and once again the panda kindergarten will present their Salute to the New Year. That means it’s time for encore presentations of previous pandy kindy extravaganzas! Huzzah!

The year of the bunny…..

Oh that panda kindergarten!

And then there was The Year of the Dragon….

the year of the dragon, panda kindergarten

Huzzah! it’s the year of the Dragon!

Not to mention another of Bob’s literary attempts at greatness, inspired by the Year of the Dragon….

What do you mean by “was?”

And then we skipped the year of the Snake, because…um…snakes?

So then it was on to the Year of the Horse. Huzzah!

Huzzah! It’s The year of Pandas on Horsies!

I want to know when it will be the Year of the Panda? I mean, come on…pandas come from China, and yet we have no year of the PANDA!!!!!!!????

Mehitabel’s note: Pfft! Seems to me that around here it is ALWAYS the year of the panda. Get over it!

So stay tuned for this years salute to The Year of the Sheep! And (here comes the commercial!) remember that it can be the year of the panda everyday when you support The Panda Chronicles by buying our books! Huzzah! Thank you all who support us this way.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Bao Bao Responds to Her Defeat…

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Today, our nation’s number one panda, Bao Bao responds to her stunning defeat in this years Giant Panda Zoo Awards. The GPZA is a little like the Acadamy Awards, for pandas, so it’s easy to see why little miss Pinky would be so um…shall we say agitated? by her disappointing showing in this year’s voting.

But first, we have a story of sordid deception, tragedy, sugar overload, unfair advantage and death by chocolate, brought to our attention by one of our alert readers, Ms Jayelle of Brooklyn NY, about some hunting practices that IMHO are just the tiniest bit unfair, not to mention not very sporting. Now before anyone gets their panties in a knot, let me say I am an unashamed carnivore, or I suppose more accurately, omnivore. I have friends and neighbors who hunt deer and elk and stock their freezers to feed their family for the winter.

I say bravo, and that they are more honest eaters than I am, as the only hunting I do is for what’s on sale at our local grocery store. But this tale, from the bear centric area of New Hampshire smacks of unfairness to me. I mean, who doesn’t know that bears love sweets, and that chocolate can kill your dog if he eats enough of it. So, in the spirit of the Panda Chronicles, (meaning that we make fun of stuff, no matter how serious it actually is) here is our response to this story.

If I have but one life to live, let me give it for a cuppycake.

And now, as promised, Princess Pinky’s first response to the news that she did not win the gold medal in the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, (despite her…um…best efforts)

You might want to cover your ears.

Don’t tell me you’re surprised.

We’ll have more from our recorded coverage of the actual Giant Panda Awards ceremony, coming to you on The Panda Channel, host of Zoonooz, in the weeks to come. Stay tuned so you don’t miss it, or better yet, sign up to get new posts three times a week in your inbox. You can also sign up for our monthly (I swear I am going to get to this really soon) Newsletter. Both sign-ups are at the top of the right hand column on all pages, except for the home page.

Be the bear!
Bob T. Panda

Breathe Deeply! It’s Fabulous Furry Friday

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I thought after Wednesday’s encounter with the panda kindergarten, Bob needed to chill to a bit and embrace his inner panda.

Nothing like a bit of the great outdoors to straighten up the panda kindergarten.

Just how hard would it be…

…to embrace your inner panda?

No cats were harmed in the drawing of this cartoon.

Be the Bear. Embrace your inner panda!
Bob T. Panda

You can bring a bear to culture…

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…but you can’t make them behave themselves.

You know the old saying, you can bring a bear to culture, but you can’t make them learn the ancient rites of the tea ceremony, but that doesn’t stop Bob from trying to bring culture and refinement to the panda kindergarten. I can hardly write that last sentence without snorting and giggling madly. Some how, “culture and refinement” used in the same sentence as “panda kindergarten” invokes the image of merriment and …um…Meihem.

You can lead a bear to culture, but….

Hmmm…Bob will have to call on his inner panda to recover from this learning experience with the panda kindergarten. As you may have noticed, Pinky and the Meihems are now full members in good (or is that bad?) standing in the panda kindergarten. Pinky was a first round draft pick.

I can’t let the Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday go by, without mentioning that it marks my 27th year of creative self employment. While I have had to be even more creative in the last six years in the making a living part, it has been an excellent ride, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. In fact, had the economy not gone sideways, panda satire might never have come into existence! And isn’t that a thought that would keep you up at night?

Keep Being the bear. I couldn’t do it without you.
Bob T. Panda

Take the Plunge: Polar Bear, that is.

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I have several friends who actually do the polar bear plunge thing in the Puget Sound. This makes me cringe on so many levels. I’ve often thought it would be funny if you “plunged” with actual polar bears, although this is definitely NOT recommended. Back in 2009 this actually happened. The YouTube video was extremely popular as well. I thought the polar bears looked quite disappointed when the woman was fished out of the pool.

It was high time that The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire examined this issue. Due to parentally imposed “limitations,” Princess Pinky, Mr. Wu, and the Meihems were forbidden to appear in this cartoon. Don’t worry, they’ll be back soon.

Bob still likes to get out in the field once in a while.

Coming soon: Pinky’s snow day, The panda Kindergarten’s Chinese new years presentation and much, much more panda fun! Huzzah!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Welcome to 2015 at The Panda Chronicles!

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It’s hard to imagine how I can top last year, especially after the end of 31 days of Pandas (which ended up being more like 47 days of pandas with all the Inspector Panda re-caps back in November) but now we are back to another year of panda hijinks.

Will there be new American cubs to push Pinky out of first place in the youngest panda in America standings?

Will Mr. Wu get to work on another case with Inspector Panda?

Will Pinky and the Meihems work out their differences in order to combat the impending menace of new cubby siblings? (And will Mr. Wu be able to stop gloating if this happens?)

What will this year’s “Panda Season of Love” bring? Can we possibly make any more fun of pandas than we already have?

And speaking of Inspector Panda, why is it that we have not seen Inspector Panda and Bob T. panda in the same cartoon frame?

These, and many more questions that you had no intention of asking, may very well be answered in the coming months. so in the meantime, sit back and enjoy the first NEW!!! cartoon of the year.

Huzzah!

Inspired by a conversation at the grocery store…

The idea for this ‘toon came about when I ran into a writer pal at the grocery store the other day. He suggested that perhaps I had a crew of pandas over in my studio, doing at least some of my work for me. Instantly, the light bulb went off in my head (either that, or I was having a stroke) and this cartoon formed itself in my head.

See? Even when I am supposedly off the clock, the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire is working for you. Work, work, work, work.

Happy New Year! More to come! Huzzah!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

PS: Oh yeah...buy books, okay? Kitty need new shoes.

On the 10th, 11th, and 12th Day of Crisp-Moss:

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Yes, and technically speaking, 31 Days of Pandas is over, but as I ran out of month before I ran out of verses, (and certain, shall we say, impatient, members of our audience wanted us to just get on with it and post the whole darn thing) we bring you the last three days of Crisp-Moss all at once.

Huzzah!

And now, The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire presents:
The 12 Days of Crisp-Moss!!!!!

On the twelfth day of Crisp-Moss, My Panda cam Did See….

MX: no, Pinky, you may NOT have a Bamboo-tini!

I can’t hear you….

F-F-F-FI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-VE Cuppycaaaaaaakes!

whew!

Once more with feeling….And a Pinky in a Hemlock Tree!

Everybody sing!

Okay, is everyone ready to sing? (and personally, I think that the NZ Panda-Nanny staff would love, love, love it if you serenaded them with this song, tomorrow when you go to visit Pinky and Mum and Dad at the zoo.)

On the Twelth day of Crispmoss, my panda cam did see:

Twelve Pinky Presents,
Eleven Bamboo-tinis,
Ten Pandas Leaping,
Nine Pandarinas,
Eight Santa’s sleigh bears,
Seven pandas chasing,
Six pandas driving,

FII-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-VE CUPPYCAAAAAAAAAAAKES!

Four pandas sneaking,
Three triplets napping,
Two Meihems plotting
and
A Pinky in a Hemlock Treeeeeeeeeeeee!

Huzzah! And because as I type this, it is New Year’s Eve (well, except in the places where it is already the New Year) I leave you with the panda kindergarten, celebrating New Year’s Eve in their own very special way.

Happy New Years, from The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire!

I can’t tell you enough times or how much it means to me, that you have chosen to be the bears. Thank you all, and the happiest of New Years.

Bob T. Panda

On the 7th day of Crisp-Moss…

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On the 7th day of Crisp-Moss, My panda cam did see…

Oh no! Not again!

F-F-F-FI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-VE Cuppycaaaaaaakes!

whew!

Is everyone ready to sing along? Okay, here we go:

On the 7th day of crisp-Moss, my panda cam did see,
Seven pandas chasing,
Six pandas driving,

FII-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-VE CUPPYCAAAAAAAAAAAKES!

Four pandas sneaking,
Three triplets napping,
Two Meihems plotting
and
A Pinky in a Hemlock Treeeeeeeeeeeee!

Doesn’t that feel good?

I’m starting to look at what the New Year will bring, and I have plans and resolutions as regards The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire. One thing I really must do is to get better about sending out a monthly newsletter. So many people have signed up to receive news of panda satire, and I have been really falling down on the job. It means that I have to reassess how much time I spend on various social media. I’ll still be there but maybe not quite as much, and it will be when I’ve gotten all my other work done. Once upon a time, I didn’t even have internet access at home, and still maintained The Panda Chronicles.

How did I do it? heck if I can remember, but do it, I did, and now I must take myself in paw, because I have big plans for next year, which I will start letting you in on in my newsletters, which i swear I will start writing any day now.

The 12 Days of Crisp-moss will be wrapping up on New Year’s Day, which means you will get three days worth of panda fun in one day. After that, I will take a short break and return on Sunday, January 4th with a brand new cartoon, and then return to my pre-31 days of pandas schedule of new ‘toons on Sundays and Wednesdays, with a encore presentation on Fridays.

Do continue to alert me to panda news or any other news story of the absurd that you think might have an application in panda satire. Use the form on the contact us page to be sure the comment gets to me. Or just use it to say “hello” or “I think you are the most brilliant cartoonist to walk the face of the earth since Bill Watterson retired.” Or something like that.

Once again, I wish you peace, happiness, health, and pandas in the new year. Thank you all for being the bears. May your inner pandas rejoice in the wonders of life, and may you always have enough cuppycakes to share.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Day 11: 31 days of Pandas

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The panda kindergarten (with the impressionable young Mr. Wu in tow) is speeding towards the exciting conclusion of The Case of the Picturesque Panda, but we are going to stretch this out a bit. BwaHaHa!!!!! And as one of our faithful readers has commented, “the only thing scarier than a panda driving a car and not looking where he’s going, is a panda driving a car not looking where he’s going and eating a cuppycake!”

So, on with the show! Not to mention, 31 Days of Pandas!

Look out for that car!

Don’t you hate it when the driver turns around to talk to someone in the car while they are speeding down the…um…sidewalk?

See you tomorrow for the Friday cliffhanger. Bwahahahaha!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

And now, The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire presents: The 12 Days of Crisp-Moss!!!!!

Once more with feeling….And a Pinky in a Hemlock Tree!

FII-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-VE CUPPYCAAAAAAAAAAAKES!

On the 7th day of Crisp-Moss, My panda cam did see…

FII-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-VE CUPPYCAAAAAAAAAAAKES!

And now, The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire presents:
The 12 Days of Crisp-Moss!!!!!