Tag Archives: Humor

Our Commitment to You, The Viewer

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Here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we take our commitment to mental health (ours and yours) very seriously, and while we do feel a need to pontificate about our ongoing political nightmare, we are going to do our best to keep Mittens and his fascist minions off of the ZooNooZ stage.

Unlike certain TV networks, we have not offered lucrative contracts for Mittens apologists to spread their nonsense on our ‘toon waves.

We are, we should add, powerless to keep Pinky off ZooNooZ.

For reference, a Scaramucci= 11 days.

Be the Bear
Bob T has not been fired by NBC Panda

Return to the Panda House

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Maybe I couldn’t get my heart into Bikkie and Mister Poppee’s latest adventure story, or maybe the potential implosion of democracy has me too nervous to concentrate, but, at least for the time being, I have brought Pookie, Bikkie, and Mister Poppee home to face to Mommee music.

Needless to say, it did not go particularly well.

Of course they are all grounded.
Pinky: even me? I didn’t have anyfing to do wif dis!
Mei Xiang: especially you!

Meanwhile out in the real world, Bal’mer Bridges falling down, TFG mouthing off to the (various) judges and prosecutors, Ronna McRomney finding a job then losing it again, (and rightly so: How can a nooz organization hire a KNOWN prevaricator, who will say whatever whoever is paying her to say it?) , and we are trying to keep one step ahead of the blackberries here at the headquarters for The Panda Chronicles!

I hope your week is off to a better start than Mitten’s is!

Be the Bear
Bob T am I grounded too? Panda

March Madness Panda Style!

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I am not a sports person. I have heard of the so-called March Madness of (I think) college basketball tournaments. I have never watched said contests, or bet on them and have no interest in doing so. Don’t ask.

But as you may recall, Pinky won a bracket sort of competition back when she was Baby Pinky, and beat out a whole bunch of things for the Smifsonian Icon of the year.

Pinky thought it was time to win at everything again. Or something like that.

Things are heating up in politics land. It’s going to be a challenge to keep our sanity. Remember, when the going gets tough, you need pandas or cuppycakes or maybe both!

Be the Bear!
Bob T pass the frosting Panda

Spring Has Sprung!

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Happy first day of Spring, here in the northern hemisphere. Up in the upper left hand corner of the continental US, we are having what we like to call “fake spring”. That is when we have up to a weeklong stretch of days in the mid 60’s and the sun shines and gentle breezes blow, and everybody shrieks when they see how dirty their windows are, and all the things that need to be done in the yard…you get the picture.

2 days later, it will start to rain and temperatures will drop back into the 40’s and 50’s and we will remember those warm, halcyon days fondly and pining away for their return. If we are lucky, they will return just in time for the 4th of July, when we transition into Seattle Summer.

Enjoy it while you can!

I love the Spring Equinox, as the days grow longer every day till we reach the Solstice. We need to take some joy where we find it.

Be the Bear
Bob T with flowers in my fur Panda

It’s PI(E) Day!

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For the mathematically challenged among us, why can’t we have a day for PIE? In fact why can’t we have pie every day? Pandas do not live by cake alone. They must also have pie!

Enjoy! (Especially the extra whippy cream!)

What kind of pie will YOU have today?

Be the Bear!
Bob T I’ll have a cherry pie Panda

The Rebuttal to End All Rebuttals

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Of course, Pinky had something to say.

Meanwhile, we watch the GQP being taken over as the party of Tr**p in real time. We would really be better off with pandas in charge.

If you haven’t watched Scarlett Johansson’s spot on satire of the GQP “response” to the State of the Union address, I suggest you get over to the You-tubbies tout sweet! I mean, the actual response seemed like it had been done by SNL, so it must have practically written itself, so to speak.

Panda On!
Bob T is this really happening Panda

The State of the Panda Union

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State of the Union, State of the Pandas…can you have one without the other? I wouldn’t think so. While the State of the Union, if Mittens and his evil minions are to be believed, is hanging by a thread. But if you look at the actual accomplishments of Handsome Joe and the pre-dysfunctional Congress, there is much to stand up and cheer about.

Not least of which, the pandas will be returning to PanDiego

Meanwhile, the question on everyone’s mind tonight: will Marge embarrass herself again by acting like a yahoo at a basketball game? Or will there be other interruptions?

Any one want to take bets on whether Pinky shows up before Marge makes her first uncouth remark?

Be the Bear!
Bob T I’ll be watching Panda

California Dreaming!

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It might be Super Tuesday in someplace, but it won’t be SUPER DOOPER TUESDAY until the pandas return to Pandiego!

Would it be cynical of me to use the words “Super Tuesday” in order to get more eyes on the Panda Chronicles? You be the judge!

Be the Bear!
Bob T Super Panda Tuesday Panda

Pandas Pandas PANDAS!!!

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We are still celebrating the impending arrival later this year, of a new generation of pandas in Panda Canyon! We *might* need to distract ourselves from current events.

Of course, Pinky has inserted herself into the process of welcoming the next California pandas!

Be the Bear!
Bob T will we never be free of Mittens? Panda

Okay, It’s Not Still Breaking Nooz, But…

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Pinky had some thoughts she wanted to share about the (hopefully) arriving pandas to the Pandiego Zoo later this year. I say hopefully, because as we know, many things can go wrong between now and then, so while I’m keeping my fingers crossed and my thoughts hopeful, I’m not all in on positivity, if you take my meaning.

Isn’t it reassuring that Pinky is so consistent in her viewpoint?

No?

Oh well.

Be the Bear!
Bob T trying to remain hopeful Panda

Pandas for President!