You’ve been waiting, we’ve been busy…I know earning a living is no excuse! So, without further panda-ing around, here is an installment of the Panda Chronicles, LIVE from the Olympic Stadium! Huzzah!
It’s round, it’s cuddly, it’s black and white…who WOULDN’T make this mistake?
More Olympics coverage to come! Huzzah!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda!
…where I congratulate myself for how many people came and visited The Panda Chronicles yesterday. 614 of you thought we were worth visiting. Either that, or something went wrong with 614 different computers and you were inexplicably sent to this site. Well, however you got here, I hope you’ll keep coming back and invite your friends to come too. After all, everyone loves pandas.
Vote the Panda Party!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
It’s Monday morning, and I want to welcome all the new pandateers who have visited the Panda Chronicles for the first time. One of our most important concepts here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, is that of Embracing Your Inner Panda.
I also have to give myself a big dope-slap for missing the opportunity to add a relevant and irreverent caption to Saturday’s cartoon. As it was Bastille Day, the caption to this cartoon SHOULD have read: “Let them eat cake.” (go back and look if you missed it)
And now, on to today’s cartoons!
But wait, there’s more!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
Pandas Need YOU! The board of panda proliferation informs us that while we have gained significant ground in bringing panda satire to panda lovers, we are not bringing panda satire to panda lovers EVERYWHERE! And so we come to you, bamboo in paw, to ask for your help. Now, we don’t want you to forward the link to this blog to people who don’t like pandas, or worse, have no sense of humor (heaven forfend!) But, if you have one or two or three or twenty friends who might enjoy a panda or two arriving in their computer a couple times a week, please introduce them to Bob T. and the gang here at the panda chronicles. We will be ever so grateful!
And if you really want to help pandas real and imaginary, buy stuff with pandas (well, with my pandas, anyway) on it from Pandyland at Cafe Press. Once I get to a very modest level of sales, I will be able to donate some of the proceeds to our good friends at Pandas International. A quick click on the link at the righthand side of the page will whisk you away to Pandyland! Huzzah!
Thank you and Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
Pandas Need YOU! The board of panda proliferation informs us that while we have gained significant ground in bringing panda satire to panda lovers, we are not bringing panda satire to panda lovers EVERYWHERE! And so we come to you, bamboo in paw, to ask for your help. Now, we don’t want you to forward the link to this blog to people who don’t like pandas, or worse, have no sense of humor (heaven forfend!) But, if you have one or two or three or twenty friends who might enjoy a panda or two arriving in their computer a couple times a week, please introduce them to Bob T. and the gang here at the panda chronicles. We will be ever so grateful!
And if you really want to help pandas real and imaginary, buy stuff with pandas (well, with my pandas, anyway) on it from Pandyland at Cafe Press. Once I get to a very modest level of sales, I will be able to donate some of the proceeds to our good friends at Pandas International. A quick click on the link at the righthand side of the page will whisk you away to Pandyland! Huzzah!
Thank you and Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
We were so happy when we heard about Panda Awareness Week on Facebook the other day, that we could hardly contain ourselves! So, we had to postpone the continuation of the saga of the panda kindergarten in Italy for just a few more days…(and then there is the upcoming Panda Olympics and what ever happened to those torch bears after they sold their torch?)
And then, coincidentally, I heard a story about the annual Running of the Bulls, in Pamplona, Spain, and I thought, wouldn’t THAT be the perfect event to hold during panda awareness week? Not the running of the bulls, of course, but the running of the BEARS!!!!!!
What makes a panda run? Cuppycakes, of course!!!!
Be the bear!
Celebrate Panda Awareness Week by telling 3 of your friends about the Panda Chronicles!
Bob T. Panda
When I first started the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, one of my friends said, pandas aren’t all warm and cuddly, you know. Here is a story about a panda who attacked a man who climbed his fence to hug him. So I did a cartoon about that, and recently I wrote this short story about the incident:
Man Hugs Panda
From a news headline in BBC Asia Pacific
WHAM!
The slam of the judge’s gavel rang like the sound of a cage door banging shut.
“Guilty as charged!” declared the judge.
But let me tell my story from the beginning, and then you can decide for yourself. Was I an innocent victim or a vicious criminal?
My name is Yang-Yang. I’m a panda and I live at the Qixing Park Zoo in China. We pandas have a huge weight on our shoulders, and it is this; we’re cute. We’re really, really cute. You might think that being cute is easy, but it’s no teddy bear’s picnic.
My days in the zoo are mostly the same, and this day seemed like any other. I got up and had some bamboo and prepared to meet my public. I was just starting to do my cuteness exercises when I spotted the first sign of trouble. On the other side of the fence that protects me from my fans, stood a visitor to the zoo. Lots of people come just to see the pandas, you know. But this man was giving me the look. Pandas see the look all the time. People get a misty-eyed, goofy look on their faces, and then I know trouble is coming my way.
This visitor climbed over the fence and ran towards me. He still had the look on his face, and his arms were stretched wide open.
And then he HUGGED ME!
I couldn’t believe it. Everyone knows that pandas are very shy.
Well, there really was only one thing I could do.
“I’m sorry sir,” I growled, “but I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. Sir, excuse me… Could you please stop that?” But he just kept hugging me.
Pandas have an excellent sense of smell so it was impossible for me not to notice that he had some candy in his pocket.
Breakfast was hours ago.
Gee, since we’re such good friends now, I thought, I’m sure he won’t mind if I help myself. I must have miscalculated the candy’s location, because instead of getting the candy bar, I took a big bite out of his leg. There was quite a bit of yelling and screaming. The other visitors pulled the man back over the fence.
Someone called the police.
Nobody would have been the wiser, and they probably wouldn’t have made such a big deal about it, except for one little thing. People pulled out their cameras and cell phones and started taking pictures and sending them to all their friends. After that, it was hard to deny what happened.
It was a very popular video on Youtube.
I never got my lunch.
I thought that would be the end of it. But a few days later, I got a summons to appear in court. I was sure they would find me innocent. After all, he was trespassing in my territory. I thought being the zoo’s star attraction counted for something. I never knew pandas had no civil rights.
There were hours of interviews with my lawyers. There were hours of interviews with his lawyers. I thought about biting a lawyer or two, but I decided maybe I was in enough trouble already.
I missed several meals.
Finally the day for my court appearance arrived. TV news teams came from all over the world. This was the big story of the year, the trial of the century! After all, how many times does a panda stand accused of the crime of being cute?
The zoo visitor claimed he was the victim. Since pandas are so darn cute, he was unable to control his urge to hug me.
Is it my fault I’m so adorable?
Finally, I was called to the witness stand. Time to turn on the old panda charm, I thought. I rolled on my back, nibbled my paw, and wrinkled my nose.
The judge glared at me over the top of his glasses.
“The witness will SIT in the chair or face a contempt charge,” the judge said, as he pointed his gavel at me.
I sat up, and wiggled my ears. I took the oath to tell the truth, the whole truth and mostly nothing but the truth.
“What do you have to say in your defense?” the judge asked sternly.
“Just because I’m cute, it doesn’t mean I’m easy.” I replied.
The judge banged his gavel, hard, and I prepared, once again, for a life behind bars.
The End
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda.
Here are the next two panels of the Italian panda saga. Sorry to be so slow, but there is a little bit of other work that I must do. Sigh…a pandas work is never done. A thanks in advance to Bob’s fezbook friends with excellent suggestions for panda kindergarten mayhem and mischief. Huzzah!
be the bear!
Bob T. Panda
Here are the next two panels of the Italian panda saga. Sorry to be so slow, but there is a little bit of other work that I must do. Sigh…a pandas work is never done. A thanks in advance to Bob’s fezbook friends with excellent suggestions for panda kindergarten mayhem and mischief. Huzzah!
be the bear!
Bob T. Panda
Yes, I’ve got the pens refilled and fired up, ready to start on the chronicles of the panda kindergarten‘s trip to Italy. I can tell you right now, that over 1000 years of civilization is no match for the panda kindergarten. Rather than make you wait till the series is completely done, I will post the panels as I do them, which has it’s up and downsides. (waiting versus cliffhangers, don’t cha know) So, hold on to your cannolis and get ready to follow the pandy kindy to sunny olde Italy!
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of the Italian Adventure, starring the panda kindergarten!
be the bear!!!!!
Bob T. Panda