In a recent post by Henry Nicholls, author of The Way of the Panda, he talked about the upcoming panda census. The various methods for counting wild pandas are fairly, well, quite frankly, some of them are just gross. We at the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire feel we have a better idea. Just mail out the forms to the pandas and let them fill them out. Don’t have their addresses? Just leave them where pandas are sure to find them.
Ok, well, maybe not.
We thought it would be a good idea to re-run a quiz we gave last year in honor of the panda census. Find out right now how far your panda obsession has gone!
Please answer the questions as honestly as possible as this will go on your permanent record.
1. How many stuffed pandas do you now own?
a) Oh, just a couple.
b) You can still see parts of my bed
c) None of your business
2. What percentage of your friends are now sending you pictures of pandas, panda cards or emails with pictures of the earthquake pandas?
a) 10%
b) 25%
c)I have no friends anymore, except for pandas, which all love me.
3. What portion of your time do you spend thinking about pandas?
a) Just when I have my coffee in the morning.
b) Only when I’m awake.
c) What else could I possibly want to think about?
3. Do you feel that your obssession with pandas is interfering with your daily life and ability to earn a living?
a) No, no, it’s no problem. Just talk amongst yourselves, while I look at pictures of earthquake pandas.
b) None of your business.
c) No, the cardboard box that I now live in is quite comfortable and I’ve drawn pictures of pandas all over the inside.
Hope this little quiz has been instructive!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
