Tag Archives: Institute for contemporary panda satire

Pinky is Where??????

30 Replies

This. Is. Really. Too. Much.

Pinky is WHERE??????????

Oh…well, they did say it was okay now to take selfies in the White House.

The parents of daughters never have a really easy time of it, do they?

The parents of daughters never have a really easy time of it, do they?

And one of Pinky’s fan’s who wanted to remain anonymous, sent us this photo that they obtained by following Pinky herself, as Pinky toured the White House with her minions.   Measuring for curtains, perhaps? Check with Pinky’s proposed Secretary of Interior Decorating.

Perhaps POTUS is on the phone to Mei Xiang, even as we watch.

065 Pinky in the Oval Office

Oh Dear… What has Pinky Done now? Are you allowed in there, honey? Where’s your mommee?
“Dis room would look so much bedder in pink”

Where, indeed.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Editor’s Note: We would like to say in advance, that if there are any technical difficulties in tomorrow night’s Republican Debates, that neither Pinky, nor the Panda Kindergarten had anything to do with them. Or the minions. Just saying.

 

2 Timing Political Consultants

12 Replies

The Meihems have long memories and have definitely not forgotten that little incident a while back, nor have they completely forgiven Pinky for it. So, it is no wonder that they have snuck out the back door of Pinky’s campaign headquarters, formed their own political consultancy (Meihem 2 Timing Political Consultants at your service!) and offered to help Bob with his campaign fundraising.

What could possibly go wrong?

And who is this mysterious ally of whom they speak?

And who is this mysterious ally of whom they speak?

I am happy to say that I have de-Pinkyied my headlines, at least for now. The Pinky is very, very tricky. I must be on my guard.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

We have some late breaking news from Pinky’s Committee to elect Pinky President. Personally, I don’t think I should do anything to encourage her further, but her attorneys are telling me that I have to post this. I think that little panda needs to be sent to her room with no internet connection. What do you think?

Bob has a Dilemma

9 Replies

It’s not fair …the cry of Nihilists everywhere, is being heard in the halls of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, as Bob wanders around, telling anyone who will listen to him, about how he has been replaced by Mr. Wu (Mr. Wu!!!) as co-host for ZooNooz’s flagship news broadcast.

It’s just not fair!

Editor’s note: Late breaking news!!!! We have just learned that Princess Pinky has gotten herself onto the news show, 60 Minutes. Where will all this unfair, free publicity end? We just don’t know!

What to do, what to do….this is a dilemma, no mistake about that!

Perhaps the Meihems can help...

Perhaps the Meihems can help…

Meanwhile, Pinky is still hacking into my computer, but I may have figured out a way to de-Pinky it. Stay tuned!

The light bulb thing still works, doesn’t it? I look very presidential here, don’t you think?

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

BTW: We would be very remiss if we did not mention that it is Mama Mei Xiang’s 17th birthday! Huzzah! Now Pinky, could you just be a good little panda for one day and celebrate someone other than Pinky?

 

Don’t Bogart that Agenda

10 Replies

It is really hard to make stuff up that is any funnier than what I hear on the news in real life. As you may know, (or may not, if you don’t pay attention to these sorts of things) that Washington State has legalized the sale and possession of Marijauna for consenting adults over the age of 21. Colorado, and possibly the District of Columbia have done so as well.

I listened in unabashed amusement, as I heard of a town in southeastern Washington that had gone one step further. Yep, the city council of North Bonneville had voted to open their own pot store. As much as I am not a fan of Foxy News, they did have the best (meaning most inflammatory) story about this.

Of course, Zoonooz had to comment on this.

Yo, don't bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me....

Yo, don’t bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me….

Yeah, I know this doesn’t have anything to do with pandas.

Be the Bear (and pass the brownies!)
Bob T. Panda

 

Where Do We Go When…

8 Replies

…we are poofed by a magical wand? This question has come up frequently (well, it does around here, I don’t know how often you come up against this problem!) at the offices at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire! Just where do we go when we are “poofed”?

We recently heard a story on NPR about an office in Tokyo, where nine cats live and work side by side with all the people in the office. They claim that it reduces the stress levels in their employees. I don’t know if my stress levels would be reduced if I arrived at my desk to find a great big hairball barfed up on a report I had been working on for two weeks. But hey, maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, when considering where Mehitabel would end up when Pinky “poofed” her, I thought that maybe this would be a good place for her to go.

Mehitabel! Can you take a meeting?

Mehitabel! Can you take a meeting?

I didn’t know they worked, either, Bob.

Be the Bear, and if you can’t be a bear, be the cat!
Bob T. Panda

 

Pandas Go Wild!

8 Replies

A recent article by noted international Pandologist Henry Nicholls was brought to my attention by alert reader, Susan S. In the article, Nicholls talks about how wild pandas don’t …um…have that embarrassing problem that some zoo pandas have. Those pandas really know how to go wild!

Of course we of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire felt compelled to embarrass zoo pandas one more time. I mean, it’s what we do around here, isn’t it?

Thanks guys! No, really.

Thanks guys! No, really.

Oh, you brute!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Journalistic Follies

10 Replies

A couple of weeks ago, a story hit the news: an anchorman misremembered or misspoke or what ever you want to call it, but anyway, he claimed he did something that didn’t happen. Since then a few other news show hosts and politicians have joined in with their own versions of revisionist histories. Here at the Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we are hardly in a position to cast the first (if any) stones, as our memory is hardly what it used to be.

Bob has his own journalistic follies to contend with.

Oh, Bob, you didn't really say that, did you?

Oh, Bob, you didn’t really say that, did you?

Leave it to Mehitabel to keep things on track!

Be the Bear,
Bob T Panda

Bao Bao Responds to Her Defeat…

14 Replies

Today, our nation’s number one panda, Bao Bao responds to her stunning defeat in this years Giant Panda Zoo Awards. The GPZA is a little like the Acadamy Awards, for pandas, so it’s easy to see why little miss Pinky would be so um…shall we say agitated? by her disappointing showing in this year’s voting.

But first, we have a story of sordid deception, tragedy, sugar overload, unfair advantage and death by chocolate, brought to our attention by one of our alert readers, Ms Jayelle of Brooklyn NY, about  some hunting practices that IMHO are just the tiniest bit unfair, not to mention not very sporting. Now before anyone gets their panties in a knot, let me say I am an unashamed carnivore, or I suppose more accurately, omnivore. I have friends and neighbors who hunt deer and elk and stock their freezers to feed their family for the winter.

I say bravo, and that they are more honest eaters than I am, as the only hunting I do is for what’s on sale at our local grocery store.  But this tale, from the bear centric area of New Hampshire smacks of unfairness to me. I mean, who doesn’t know that bears love sweets, and that chocolate can kill your dog if he eats enough of it.  So, in the spirit of the Panda Chronicles, (meaning that we make fun of stuff, no matter how serious it actually is) here is our response to this story.

If I have but one life to live, let me give it for a cuppycake.

If I have but one life to live, let me give it for a cuppycake.

And now, as promised, Princess Pinky’s first response to the news that she did not win the gold medal in the Giant Panda Zoo Awards, (despite her…um…best efforts)

You might want to cover your ears.

Don't tell me you're surprised.

Don’t tell me you’re surprised.

We’ll have more from our recorded coverage of the actual Giant Panda Awards ceremony, coming to you on The Panda Channel, host of Zoonooz, in the weeks to come. Stay tuned so you don’t miss it, or better yet, sign up to get new posts three times a week in your inbox. You can also sign up for our monthly (I swear I am going to get to this really soon) Newsletter. Both sign-ups are at the top of the right hand column on all pages, except for the home page.

Be the bear!
Bob T. Panda

 

Breathe Deeply! It’s Fabulous Furry Friday

14 Replies

I thought after Wednesday’s encounter with the panda kindergarten, Bob needed to chill to a bit and embrace his inner panda.

Nothing like a bit of the great outdoors to straighten up the panda kindergarten.

Nothing like a bit of the great outdoors to straighten up the panda kindergarten.

Just how hard would it be...

Just how hard would it be…

...to embrace your inner panda?

…to embrace your inner panda?

No cats were harmed in the drawing of this cartoon.

No cats were harmed in the drawing of this cartoon.

Be the Bear. Embrace your inner panda!
Bob T. Panda

Take the Plunge: Polar Bear, that is.

8 Replies

I have several friends who actually do the polar bear plunge thing in the Puget Sound. This makes me cringe on so many levels. I’ve often thought it would be funny if you “plunged” with actual polar bears, although this is definitely NOT recommended. Back in 2009 this actually happened. The YouTube video was extremely popular as well. I thought the polar bears looked quite disappointed when the woman was fished out of the pool.

It was high time that The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire examined this issue. Due to parentally imposed “limitations,” Princess Pinky, Mr. Wu, and the Meihems were forbidden to appear in this cartoon. Don’t worry, they’ll be back soon.

Bob still likes to get out in the field once in a while.

Bob still likes to get out in the field once in a while.

Coming soon: Pinky’s snow day, The panda Kindergarten’s Chinese new years presentation and much, much more panda fun! Huzzah!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda