Welcome to this special panda birthday season edition of The Panda Chronicles! In honor of Zoo Atlanta’s pride and joy, Mei Lun and Mei Huan turning one year old today, we have an extra ‘toon to celebrate!
Huzzah!
There must be cake!
I bet the Meihem twins will be out of detention in time to go to Princess Pinky’s pawty in August!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
Oh my, just when I thought that the practice of taking selfies couldn’t get any more absurd, (see this post) an observant reader told me that people were taking selfies at the Tour de France. Not only were they taking selfies, they were stepping out into the flow of (really, really, really,) fast bicycle racers in order to do so.
We are talking about bicycle racers with only three fat cells in their entire bodies, who are probably already a little cranky because
A) Someone just compared them to Lance Armstrong,
B) It’s July,
C)There are not actually french fries every where in France,
and
D) Some moron with an iphone – who hasn’t been on a bike since 4th grade – just stepped out in front of them and they crashed and cannot finish the race because their $12,000 Italian racing bike now looks like a leftover pretzel from the Bumpkin County Fair.
Of course, here at The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire felt we had to address this issue, in the mature and respectful way that you have come to expect from us. (Insert fart joke here.)
Sometimes real life news stories make it Just. Too. Easy
Meanwhile back at the Zoo, panda birthday season has begun. I hesitate to admit that I don’t know the birthdays of every U.S. born panda, let alone those born abroad, but Washington DC’s favorite #1 son, Tai Shan, celebrated his 9th birthday on July 9th, and the Meihem twins of Zoo Atlanta have their first birthday coming up this Tuesday! (Ya’ll come back for a special birthday ‘toon on Tuesday, OK?)
Meanwhile, in honor of the publication of my book Pandamorphosis, we are inviting you to post pictures of YOUR copy of Pandamorphosis on The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire page on Facebook.
Huzzah!
Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda
…and his latest mystery. Or maybe more accurately, a little more on Babette’s story of her great-great-great-great-gasp-great-great grandmama. There will be an art history quiz at the end.
For those of you who have missed the first 4 episodes, you can see Episode 1: here, Episode 2: here, and Episode 3: here. And just because I’m that kind of bear, I am reposting episode four, along with today’s episode:
Episode four of The case of the Picturesque Panda…
And now, for today’s episode….
Let’s see who stayed awake during art history classes!
I told you there would be a quiz, didn’t I? The first 5 people to CORRECTLY identify all five of the painting references (by artist, extra credit for titles) will receive a small envelope full of panda swag. You can leave your answers in the comments. I will contact the winners for their addresses. (US addresses only, sorry, Vicky, but you should be getting a whole BOX of panda swag any day now!)
And I would be remiss, if I did not mention that yesterday was Canada Day, better known around here as Panada Day! Thanks again to Liam Francis Walsh who suggested this drawing:
Oh Panada, Oh Panada, how tasty are your maple leaves….
And would someone please tell the morons who are setting off fireworks NOW, that the 4th of July is FRIDAY?????
Sigh…being the bear….
Bob T. Panda
I gave up watching TV more than 15 years ago, and quit reading newspapers some years earlier. (After Bill Watterson retired, what was the point?) But here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we are not totally uninformed. We listen to NPR (National Panda Radio), read The New Yorker* and the Atlantic Magazine. But our favorite source for Nooz Pandas Can Use is the NPR show, Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.
* sometimes we even read the articles.
Yesterday, as I was driving around in the cubvertable, one Wait, Wait… segment related a story about how the state of New York was considering (or had already) outlawed the practice of taking selfies with tigers. Now, this story raised many questions, that we felt were not adequately addressed on the show. (We thought about going back and listening to the podcast to see if we had our facts straight, but then we thought, hey! We’re pandas! Since when have we concerned ourself with the facts?)
First, are tiger selfies really such a big problem? and what about enforcement of the new statute? Are they going to staff zoos and other places that tigers congregate to make sure no one takes a selfie with the tigers. Do the tigers get any say in this?
Needless to say, The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire has not shirked their responsibility to fully explore this issue.
Much better to take a selfie with pandas!
Don’t forget to check out pandas around the web!
Kirby Larson’s Kirby’s Lane: Friday June 13, 2014
June 9th on Cordelia Calls it Quits, and
June 11th on Cordelia’s Mom, Still
Pandamorphosis was reviewed by Henry Nicholls, author of The Way of the Panda, on his Animal Magic blog at The Guardian.
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
Yes, it’s Fabulous Furry Friday, here at The Panda Chronicles, The offices of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, here in our high rise office tower, are shutting down for the weekend, as we prepare for…
How about a nap? Wait, you say. Pandas do not hibernate. Yes, but what about a really, really, really long nap?
…if I were a panda, yadda dah dah da- da- da- AAARGH! I can’t stop!!!!!
I just finished packing and sending out all of my Kickstarter rewards, and now I am going to pause (or is that paws?) and pat myself on the back, and attempt to take most of the weekend off.
But besides all the work involved in putting together and executing a crowdfunding campaign, there is something very special about the process in addition to getting help funding your project.
That special something (Oh crikey! she’s going into schmoopy mode! get out your handkerchiefs!) is all of you, who donated to my campaign and cheered me on, and shared my project with your panda and art loving friends. As people have been posting pictures of Pandamorphosis and the prints of artwork from the book, not only do I think, hey! there’s my book, there’s my art, out in the world, I think, hey, I’ve made a connection…I have a friend. It may be a friend I will never meet IRL, but they are friends all the same.
All I really need are my friends…and maybe some cuppycakes!!!
Some of the connections that were made while bringing Pandamorphosis into the world will be fleeting ones, but some will result in projects still to come. Some, I hope will be lifetime friendships, and every once in a while we will meet in the company of pandas. Huzzah! Cuppycakes and bootinis all around!
Stay tuned to this station (National Panda Radio) to keep up with the latest panda nooz. Sign up for my newsletter (which I really plan to write another one one of these days) up in the upper right hand column of this very blog.
Huzzah!
Thanks again to those kind folks who invited the pandas over for a visit. I hope we can come back again!
Kirby Larson’s Kirby’s Lane: Friday June 13, 2014
June 9th on Cordelia Calls it Quits, and
June 11th on Cordelia’s Mom, Still
Pandamorphosis was reviewed by Henry Nicholls, author of The Way of the Panda, on his Animal Magic blog at The Guardian.
BTW, Henry and I connected early on in The Panda Chronicles’ journey into panda satire. I think he even coined the phrase panda satire, if I remember correctly. I am grateful that he has been a supporter and cheerleader for The Panda Chronicles, and I am grateful for all my readers, and pandas…well now I’m just getting schmoopy again.
Have a great weekend, watch some panda videos, and have a (couple or three) cuppycakes! See ya next week.
Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda
Well, if I am going to live in my imagination, why shouldn’t I imagine that Bill Watterson had read of the panda kindergarten’s dastardly kidnapping deed, and took the appropriate measures for revenge. Of course, I would expect no less than that the revenge would be perpetrated on the “grown-ups” (such as they are.)
He who laughs last, laughs…um…last.
Huzzah for the panda kindergarten. (What…surely you don’t think that I am a grown-up…get real.)
Keep being the bear!
Panda On
Bob T. Panda
Inspector Panda’s mysterious client, Babette de Panda, is weaving a tale about an alleged inheritance from her great-great-great-great-great-great grandmama. The Art Historical Division at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire has recently uncovered documents that support her claim that pandas emigrated to France in the late 1880’s, and posed for many of the artists of that period.
Portait of the mysterious “Madame ‘P’ “
Portrait of Madame ‘P’
By John Singer Sargent
In the late 19th century, Japanese prints were not the only novelty from the Far East to create a stir in the London and Paris Art scenes. The recent discovery of pandas by westerners had artists scrambling to find pandas to model for paintings.
James McNeill Whistler employed one very popular model for his painting, Arrangement in Black, White, and Gray, as did several other artists, including John Singer Sargent.
Sargent did a number of preliminary studies for his famous portrait of Madame Pierre Gautreau, also known as Madame X. One of these less well-known minor studies portrayed one of Sargent’s favorite models, known only as Madame ‘P’.
November 8th, 1883:
Madame Gautreau has taken leave of Paris for a month, so I am not able to continue working on her portrait. I have completed several studies, but I need her presence in order to work on the final commission. I am most vexed.
November 10th, 1883:
Great fortune! One of my favorite models has just finished sitting for that horse’s ass, Jimmy W. I am exceedingly fond of Madame ‘P’, as she likes to be known. She has only recently come to Paris and I have done my best to make her “most welcome.”
November 12th, 1883:
My study of Madame ‘P’ is going well. I hope to be able to complete a life size portrait of her for the next Salon Exhibition. There is a slight problem, in that she requires many naps throughout the day and has a prodigious appetite. She is the most amazing woman, able to crack large stalks of bamboo with only her teeth!
November 26th, 1883:
That rascal Jimmy W. has unveiled his portrait of Madame ‘P’, calling it Arrangement in Black, White, and Gray, and has done so before I have been able to finish my portrait. I am most vexed. Madame ‘P’ came round the studio and was extremely apologetic, so what could I do but forgive her?
“Arrangement in Black, White, and Gray” by James A. McNeil Whistler
December 18th, 1883:
Madame Gautreau has returned at last, but we had a terrible row over the state of her dress, which I had allowed Madame ‘P’ to wear during her sittings. I thought she looked quite the Parisian sophisticate in it. I had no idea Madame ‘P’s “personal habits” left so much to be desired.
The fragment of the diary ends here, but I believe that this does lend some credence to Babette’s claim that her great-great…um, whatever, grandmama did model for a number of the impressionists.
Hope you have a Fabulous Furry Friday, and the rest of the weekend as well.
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
Pandas have long had a presence in literature. The prestigious BamBooker Prize in panda literature is one of the coveted awards by the panda literary establishment. (I bet you didn’t know there was a panda literary establishment, did you?)
While panda literature has often been overlooked by the world at large (read: overbearing cats), it is, in fact, one of the most loved genres in many parts of the globe. From autobiographical works, to novels, and poetry, pandas are on the forefront of creative writing. Or was that “creative accounting”? Well, no matter, today, Fabulous Furry Friday celebrates,
The Literature of the Panda!
Bob’s well received autobiography
It all started here…..
What do you mean by “was?”
The Life of PIE….get it? *chortle chortle*
The cake abides….
Editors note: And of course, since this month is Pandamorphosis launch month (the real one, not Bob’s version of it) I had to stick in another plug for Pandamorphosis. You can find it on Amazon, or if you happen to live on Whidbey Island, Moonraker Books has copies in stock! (yay! Independent Book Stores!)
Huzzah!
Well, that’s all from Fabulous Furry Friday! Keep Being the Bear, Panda On, and Pass the Cuppycakes!
Bob T. Panda
Spring has come and gone in the Pacific Northwest, as we slosh toward the month here known as “June-uary” and the (brief) visitation of balmy days in the 60’s and low 70’s become just a distant memory, just in time for Memorial Day weekend here in the US of A.
We need funny, we need pandas, and we need it now!
I’m ready for my close-up…um..I am, aren’t I?
Are we laughing yet?
Inspector Panda is on the job!
As we prepare for an Inspector Panda Mystery, let’s reacquaint ourselves with this superior sleuth….
“Hello, Bai Yun? this is Lun Lun…about that detective you suggested…”
…of course Boo-mints are pretty good too.
Will the twins get a merit badge for their road trip? Will Lun Lun fess up to where the girls are? Will Inspector Panda get a clue, or at least more twitter followers? Stay tuned!
That’s it for Fabulous Furry Friday’s visit to The Institute of Contemporary Panda Satire archives!
By the way, Pandamorphosis is now available from Amazon. Check it out on our The Panda Chronicles: The Books page today!
Keep Being the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
Ah, what to post, what to post…that is the question. Time to get out the darts and throw it at my computer screen and see where it sticks.
Can you calibrate the cuppycake?
I am such a dork.
I know… I will take this opportunity to share these cartoons I did for Pandas International, for their programs at several of their annual auction events. If you don’t already know about Pandas International, you might want to check them out and send a little support their way. They raise money to help actual pandas (as opposed to imaginary ones) and… without actual pandas, there could be no panda satire.
Think about that!
Keep being the Bear!
Bob T. Panda