Tag Archives: Mehitabel

Our Commitment to You, The Viewer

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Here at The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire, we take our commitment to mental health (ours and yours) very seriously, and while we do feel a need to pontificate about our ongoing political nightmare, we are going to do our best to keep Mittens and his fascist minions off of the ZooNooZ stage.

Unlike certain TV networks, we have not offered lucrative contracts for Mittens apologists to spread their nonsense on our ‘toon waves.

We are, we should add, powerless to keep Pinky off ZooNooZ.

For reference, a Scaramucci= 11 days.

Be the Bear
Bob T has not been fired by NBC Panda

March Madness Panda Style!

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I am not a sports person. I have heard of the so-called March Madness of (I think) college basketball tournaments. I have never watched said contests, or bet on them and have no interest in doing so. Don’t ask.

But as you may recall, Pinky won a bracket sort of competition back when she was Baby Pinky, and beat out a whole bunch of things for the Smifsonian Icon of the year.

Pinky thought it was time to win at everything again. Or something like that.

Things are heating up in politics land. It’s going to be a challenge to keep our sanity. Remember, when the going gets tough, you need pandas or cuppycakes or maybe both!

Be the Bear!
Bob T pass the frosting Panda

It’s PI(E) Day!

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For the mathematically challenged among us, why can’t we have a day for PIE? In fact why can’t we have pie every day? Pandas do not live by cake alone. They must also have pie!

Enjoy! (Especially the extra whippy cream!)

What kind of pie will YOU have today?

Be the Bear!
Bob T I’ll have a cherry pie Panda

The Rebuttal to End All Rebuttals

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Of course, Pinky had something to say.

Meanwhile, we watch the GQP being taken over as the party of Tr**p in real time. We would really be better off with pandas in charge.

If you haven’t watched Scarlett Johansson’s spot on satire of the GQP “response” to the State of the Union address, I suggest you get over to the You-tubbies tout sweet! I mean, the actual response seemed like it had been done by SNL, so it must have practically written itself, so to speak.

Panda On!
Bob T is this really happening Panda

The State of the Panda Union

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State of the Union, State of the Pandas…can you have one without the other? I wouldn’t think so. While the State of the Union, if Mittens and his evil minions are to be believed, is hanging by a thread. But if you look at the actual accomplishments of Handsome Joe and the pre-dysfunctional Congress, there is much to stand up and cheer about.

Not least of which, the pandas will be returning to PanDiego

Meanwhile, the question on everyone’s mind tonight: will Marge embarrass herself again by acting like a yahoo at a basketball game? Or will there be other interruptions?

Any one want to take bets on whether Pinky shows up before Marge makes her first uncouth remark?

Be the Bear!
Bob T I’ll be watching Panda

California Dreaming!

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It might be Super Tuesday in someplace, but it won’t be SUPER DOOPER TUESDAY until the pandas return to Pandiego!

Would it be cynical of me to use the words “Super Tuesday” in order to get more eyes on the Panda Chronicles? You be the judge!

Be the Bear!
Bob T Super Panda Tuesday Panda

Pandas Pandas PANDAS!!!

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We are still celebrating the impending arrival later this year, of a new generation of pandas in Panda Canyon! We *might* need to distract ourselves from current events.

Of course, Pinky has inserted herself into the process of welcoming the next California pandas!

Be the Bear!
Bob T will we never be free of Mittens? Panda

Okay, It’s Not Still Breaking Nooz, But…

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Pinky had some thoughts she wanted to share about the (hopefully) arriving pandas to the Pandiego Zoo later this year. I say hopefully, because as we know, many things can go wrong between now and then, so while I’m keeping my fingers crossed and my thoughts hopeful, I’m not all in on positivity, if you take my meaning.

Isn’t it reassuring that Pinky is so consistent in her viewpoint?

No?

Oh well.

Be the Bear!
Bob T trying to remain hopeful Panda

Pandas for President!

We have NOOOOOOZ

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Panda watchers around the US woke up to the NooZ that negotiations have been underway, agreements are being signed, permits are being applied for to BRING MORE PANDAS TO PANDIEGO!!!!! Before the end of this year!

We west coast folks have been having a real sad since early in 2019 when Bai Yun and the Very Wu Self left for China. Papa Gao Gao had left earlier in 2018. We were hoping that more pandas would be coming, but You Know Who had been messing things up with China since his reign of terror began and then the Covid pandemic arrived and we despaired of ever getting pandas on the west coast again.

To put an extra helping of frosting on the cupcake, part of the negotiations is to get one of Bai Yun’s descendants as the female half of the new panda pair. Bai Yun has a LOT of descendants. I need someone with better record keeping abilities than I have to inform me on just how many grand babies and great grand babies Bai Yun has, but there are a lot of them. Next to Pan Pan, Bai Yun could be one of the most consequential pandas to have participated in taking pandas off the extremely endangered list. If you have info to share with the panda fans here, feel free to chime in in the comments.

And now, our story (well, one of our stories) continues

I’m sure the new pandas at Pandiego will be way more better behaved than Pinky and Six and Sebben. Probably.

Be the bear,
Bob T pandas return to San Diego Panda

DO Feed the Bears!

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Once again, one of my faithful readers has come through with a VERY IMPORTANT Nooz story about…

Bears!

Could it be part of a sinister plot, coordinated from afar by Henrietta (or the bear formerly known as Hank), who now lives at a luxury resort for wayward bears? Is there an army of bears going around the towns near Lake Tahoe putting up posters admonishing people NOT to use bear-proof receptacles for their garbage? Maybe leaving a double cheese, double pepperoni pizza on top of the garbage can sometimes?

But seriously, feeding wildlife is a bad idea. Especially bears. Would you want to wake up and have Frank or Mikey looking in your bedroom window, wondering where breakfast was?

In other NooZ, things are heating up in the trials of Mittens. Frank, Bikkie, and Pookie are STILL on their adventure, and I promise I’ll get back to it soon. I’m also doing my Year in Review over on Substack so go check it out!

Till later…be the bear!
Bob T pass the pizza Panda

Thanks and a Roll of Honor mention to my brother for alerting me to this important story!