Tag Archives: panda kindergarten

Fabulous Furry Friday: #WeREndangered!

Sunday’s cartoon was a lot of fun for me, and not just because of my coffee slinging history. I like it when Mehitabel has a chance to wig out and give the pandas a little what for.

Several people wrote in their comments that they would love to have a #WeREndangered coffee mug too, so I got right on it. I have a very neglected Cafe Press store, where you can buy things with various members of the Panda Chronicles on them. I know it is really time for some updated inventory, but only so many hours of the day and all that, you know.

I’ve long been wanting to design something with the Pandy Kindy in their Fez Mobile (or as I like to call it, their mobile fez-book app) and it occurred to me that this was the perfect place!

What could be more endangered than joyriding pandas NOT wearing seat belts?

What could be more endangered than joyriding pandas NOT wearing seat belts?

Because I love the idea that people can find my pandas here and read them for free, I try not to lean too heavily on the potential money making aspects of panda satire, because, that would be …um…annoying. However, making a little filthy lucre from selling books and panda satire products, does make it possible for me to keep doing this. At least until I get a MacArthur Genius Grant for Panda Satire, at which time I will just leave piles of my books on street corners for anyone who wants them…

And lest we forget that there STILL is no MacArthur Grant for Panda Satire....

And lest we forget that there STILL is no MacArthur Grant for Panda Satire….

So head over to the Cafe Press Pandyland store and order a couple of #WeREndangered coffee mugs! Heck! order a bunch for all your friends, and remember, without pandas, there can be no panda satire!

And to support pandas further, for every #WeREndangered mug that is ordered during the rest of April, we will make a liddle donation to Pandas International, because they are actually doing stuff to support pandas (and not just making fun of them like some people!)

Thanks for being the bear! Stay tuned to this station for some exciting announcements in the very near future, about panda princesses political perpetrations!

Bob T. Panda

OMG It’s Tax Time!

The Panda Revenue Service wants YOU! Because once again, at least in the United S of A, it is tax time, which means hand over that wallet!! Fortunately, the Panda Kindergarten Accounting Service is ready, willing and…um…well, while not exactly able, they do have an adding machine…to help you with your calculations.

They will be looking very closely at the returns of any known cats, as you may well imagine, because …um CATS!!!!!!

Will Bob ever learn?  will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

Will Bob ever learn? Will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

And because it is good to have something to laugh at through your tears, here are some of our other favorites to help you procrastinate just a little longer this weekend!

And it was ever thus....

And it was ever thus….

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

Much better to take a selfie with pandas!

Princess Pinky helps with new years resolutions

You say you want a resolution, well, you know, it is hard to change a bear….I love Pinky when she is sorry she did something.

And if you want to get into some serious procrastination this weekend, wouldn’t it be a good idea to order all the http://www.yourbrainonpandas.com/book-table/ for your very own? They contain HOURS of procrastinatory panda goodness!

Okay then….where did I put my income records?

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Don’t Bogart that Agenda

It is really hard to make stuff up that is any funnier than what I hear on the news in real life. As you may know, (or may not, if you don’t pay attention to these sorts of things) that Washington State has legalized the sale and possession of Marijauna for consenting adults over the age of 21. Colorado, and possibly the District of Columbia have done so as well.

I listened in unabashed amusement, as I heard of a town in southeastern Washington that had gone one step further. Yep, the city council of North Bonneville had voted to open their own pot store. As much as I am not a fan of Foxy News, they did have the best (meaning most inflammatory) story about this.

Of course, Zoonooz had to comment on this.

Yo, don't bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me....

Yo, don’t bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me….

Yeah, I know this doesn’t have anything to do with pandas.

Be the Bear (and pass the brownies!)
Bob T. Panda

 

Fabulous Furry Friday Salutes…

…Easter! Bring on the marshmallow peeps, the malted milk candy covered Easter eggs, the chocolate pandas and…what…wait…

What do you mean there are no chocolate pandas for my Easter basket. Only BUNNIES????? I thought Easter was all about pandas! and how the Easter Panda brings treats to all the good little girls and boys….

What's Black and White and carries cuppycakes in a basket?

What’s Black and White and carries cuppycakes in a basket?

Of course, once certain members of the panda kindergarten came on the scene, the tradition became more of …um…a trick or treat kind of experience.

A tiskitt a taskitt , a great big wheelie basket!

A tiskitt a taskitt , a great big wheelie basket!

Once again, Fabulous Furry Friday brings you the REAL story!

Be the (Easter) Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Pandas Go Wild!

A recent article by noted international Pandologist Henry Nicholls was brought to my attention by alert reader, Susan S. In the article, Nicholls talks about how wild pandas don’t …um…have that embarrassing problem that some zoo pandas have. Those pandas really know how to go wild!

Of course we of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire felt compelled to embarrass zoo pandas one more time. I mean, it’s what we do around here, isn’t it?

Thanks guys! No, really.

Thanks guys! No, really.

Oh, you brute!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Even more journalistic follies

If there is one thing we just cannot abide (the Dude, notwithstanding) it is people or …um…pandas, getting credit for something they did not do. But that is just what is going on here at Zoonooz headquarters. Some one is going to have to put a stop to these journalistic follies!

And then there is accidentally confessing to something you did do, but hoping that no one will believe you.

We KNEW that was you!

We KNEW that was you!

Is there more Meihem ahead?

What do you think?

Meanwhile, the panda season of looooove is heating up! More from the PSofL soon! And don’t forget! Today is the Ides of March. We don’t know what that is, but it sounds scary. Beware!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

The Panda Season of Love has Begun!

News from the San Diego Zoo, Department of panda whoopee reports that Bai Yun and her favorite stud muffin, Gao Gao, had a romantic encounter today. Mr Gao Gao has an advantage over most zoo pandas, in that he was wild born and so has better instincts and ….um…technique than…um…some other pandas we could name.

So in honor of the panda season of love, let’s have a few love pandas from the archives!

A panda by any other name, would smell...well, they would just smell...

A panda by any other name, would smell…well, they would just smell…

Prevaricating pandas perceived in pregnancy pastry ploy

Prevaricating pandas perceived in pregnancy pastry ploy

And who could forget the controversy surrounding figuring out who fathered miss Pinky?

Who's the bear???!!!

Who’s the bear???!!!

And what panda doesn’t need a little inspiration from some appropriate reading material?

We really need to more thoroughly check the panda kindergarten's reading list.

We really need to more thoroughly check the panda kindergarten’s reading list.

And what better way to celebrate the panda season of love, than buying all the books from the Panda Chronicles series. Um…just saying.

Have a great weekend!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday Presents Great News!

OK, unlike most of what we talk about here, this is totally serious and we are not making this up! The most recent panda census results are in and the wild panda population is up, possibly by as much as 17%. This is great news, because, well…pandas!

Not that we don’t make fun of serious things like the panda census. Of course, some people (and you know who you are, bro) might point out that China’s relationship to statistics is not um…entirely unlike that of the panda kindergarten.

Do we have to count panda adoption fees?

Do we have to count panda adoption fees?

Is it any wonder Bob has a sharp pain behind his ears?

And here is more panda fun…because…um…pandas!

Always read the directions...

Always read the directions…

And because our heads are filled with thoughts of cuppycakes….

I have extra frosting!

I smell frosting!

And because it’s that time of year….

Will Bob ever learn?  will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

Will Bob ever learn? will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

Let’s put pandas to work!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

We proudly support Pandas International, because without pandas, there could be no panda satire!

Parting is such sweet sorrow…

…between moms and baby pandas, especially for all of us watching Bao Bao and her mom Mei Xiang. Let’s be clear here: Pandas do not live in family units, and after cubs reach the point where they can eat bamboo like a big bear, it’s time for them to seek their fortune in the real world.

It is rather disconcerting for the folks watching at home on their panda cams, especially because the relationship between cubs and their mom is so sweet…at least, just before the time mom turns around and runs them off, sometimes quite aggressively. Parting is such sweet sorrow, only in the movies, not among bears.

But that’s in real life, and this is Panda Satire!

Just a reminder: repeat after me: this is fiction.

Just a reminder: repeat after me: this is fiction.

Does Pinky have a new friend and confidant? Stay tuned, oh panda satire fans!

BTW: I was just interviewed on The Inspokes blog, a blog for writers and illustrators of books for children. I hope you’ll pop over and give my interview about Pandamorphosis a read.

Huzzah!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Who you calling fat (Tuesday)?

Yes, it’s Fabulous Furry friday, where we look back at our favorite examples from the Panda Chronicles archives! Huzzah!

This week holds several occasions of note, the first being Fat Tuesday (or as we like to call it around here, Extra Fluffy Tuesday), The Chinese Lunar New Year, and coming up on Sunday, The Academy Awards.

A note about the discrepancy as to whether this is the Year of the Sheep, Goat, or Ram: our friend over at Vsomethingspeaks wrote an excellent essay on just why there is no absolute agreement on this year’s designation. You can read all about it here, as well as get a new delicious sounding recipe! We stand our portrayal of the Year of the Sheep…because…um…pandas in sheep costumes, right?

Here’s our salute to Fat Tuesday!

We call it "extra Fluffy Tuesday" around here.

We call it “extra Fluffy Tuesday” around here.

Thank you for that interesting and yet wildly inaccurate history, Bob!

And here’s our nod to the Academy Awards:

What will Christopher Robin say about this?

What will Christopher Robin say about this?

After this weeks guest appearance of Richard Parker, how could we not celebrate both The Life of Pooh as well as The Life of Pie?

The Life of PIE....get it? *chortle chortle*

The Life of PIE….get it? *chortle chortle*

Have a fun filled weekend, everyone!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda