Tag Archives: panda kindergarten

Don’t Bogart that Agenda

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It is really hard to make stuff up that is any funnier than what I hear on the news in real life. As you may know, (or may not, if you don’t pay attention to these sorts of things) that Washington State has legalized the sale and possession of Marijauna for consenting adults over the age of 21. Colorado, and possibly the District of Columbia have done so as well.

I listened in unabashed amusement, as I heard of a town in southeastern Washington that had gone one step further. Yep, the city council of North Bonneville had voted to open their own pot store. As much as I am not a fan of Foxy News, they did have the best (meaning most inflammatory) story about this.

Of course, Zoonooz had to comment on this.

Yo, don't bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me....

Yo, don’t bogart that agenda, boys, pass it over to me….

Yeah, I know this doesn’t have anything to do with pandas.

Be the Bear (and pass the brownies!)
Bob T. Panda

 

Fabulous Furry Friday Salutes…

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…Easter! Bring on the marshmallow peeps, the malted milk candy covered Easter eggs, the chocolate pandas and…what…wait…

What do you mean there are no chocolate pandas for my Easter basket. Only BUNNIES????? I thought Easter was all about pandas! and how the Easter Panda brings treats to all the good little girls and boys….

What's Black and White and carries cuppycakes in a basket?

What’s Black and White and carries cuppycakes in a basket?

Of course, once certain members of the panda kindergarten came on the scene, the tradition became more of …um…a trick or treat kind of experience.

A tiskitt a taskitt , a great big wheelie basket!

A tiskitt a taskitt , a great big wheelie basket!

Once again, Fabulous Furry Friday brings you the REAL story!

Be the (Easter) Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Pandas Go Wild!

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A recent article by noted international Pandologist Henry Nicholls was brought to my attention by alert reader, Susan S. In the article, Nicholls talks about how wild pandas don’t …um…have that embarrassing problem that some zoo pandas have. Those pandas really know how to go wild!

Of course we of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire felt compelled to embarrass zoo pandas one more time. I mean, it’s what we do around here, isn’t it?

Thanks guys! No, really.

Thanks guys! No, really.

Oh, you brute!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Even more journalistic follies

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If there is one thing we just cannot abide (the Dude, notwithstanding) it is people or …um…pandas, getting credit for something they did not do. But that is just what is going on here at Zoonooz headquarters. Some one is going to have to put a stop to these journalistic follies!

And then there is accidentally confessing to something you did do, but hoping that no one will believe you.

We KNEW that was you!

We KNEW that was you!

Is there more Meihem ahead?

What do you think?

Meanwhile, the panda season of looooove is heating up! More from the PSofL soon! And don’t forget! Today is the Ides of March. We don’t know what that is, but it sounds scary. Beware!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

The Panda Season of Love has Begun!

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News from the San Diego Zoo, Department of panda whoopee reports that Bai Yun and her favorite stud muffin, Gao Gao, had a romantic encounter today. Mr Gao Gao has an advantage over most zoo pandas, in that he was wild born and so has better instincts and ….um…technique than…um…some other pandas we could name.

So in honor of the panda season of love, let’s have a few love pandas from the archives!

A panda by any other name, would smell...well, they would just smell...

A panda by any other name, would smell…well, they would just smell…

Prevaricating pandas perceived in pregnancy pastry ploy

Prevaricating pandas perceived in pregnancy pastry ploy

And who could forget the controversy surrounding figuring out who fathered miss Pinky?

Who's the bear???!!!

Who’s the bear???!!!

And what panda doesn’t need a little inspiration from some appropriate reading material?

We really need to more thoroughly check the panda kindergarten's reading list.

We really need to more thoroughly check the panda kindergarten’s reading list.

And what better way to celebrate the panda season of love, than buying all the books from the Panda Chronicles series. Um…just saying.

Have a great weekend!

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

Fabulous Furry Friday Presents Great News!

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OK, unlike most of what we talk about here, this is totally serious and we are not making this up! The most recent panda census results are in and the wild panda population is up, possibly by as much as 17%. This is great news, because, well…pandas!

Not that we don’t make fun of serious things like the panda census. Of course, some people (and you know who you are, bro) might point out that China’s relationship to statistics is not um…entirely unlike that of the panda kindergarten.

Do we have to count panda adoption fees?

Do we have to count panda adoption fees?

Is it any wonder Bob has a sharp pain behind his ears?

And here is more panda fun…because…um…pandas!

Always read the directions...

Always read the directions…

And because our heads are filled with thoughts of cuppycakes….

I have extra frosting!

I smell frosting!

And because it’s that time of year….

Will Bob ever learn? will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

Will Bob ever learn? will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?

Let’s put pandas to work!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

We proudly support Pandas International, because without pandas, there could be no panda satire!

Parting is such sweet sorrow…

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…between moms and baby pandas, especially for all of us watching Bao Bao and her mom Mei Xiang. Let’s be clear here: Pandas do not live in family units, and after cubs reach the point where they can eat bamboo like a big bear, it’s time for them to seek their fortune in the real world.

It is rather disconcerting for the folks watching at home on their panda cams, especially because the relationship between cubs and their mom is so sweet…at least, just before the time mom turns around and runs them off, sometimes quite aggressively. Parting is such sweet sorrow, only in the movies, not among bears.

But that’s in real life, and this is Panda Satire!

Just a reminder: repeat after me: this is fiction.

Just a reminder: repeat after me: this is fiction.

Does Pinky have a new friend and confidant? Stay tuned, oh panda satire fans!

BTW: I was just interviewed on The Inspokes blog, a blog for writers and illustrators of books for children. I hope you’ll pop over and give my interview about Pandamorphosis a read.

Huzzah!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Who you calling fat (Tuesday)?

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Yes, it’s Fabulous Furry friday, where we look back at our favorite examples from the Panda Chronicles archives! Huzzah!

This week holds several occasions of note, the first being Fat Tuesday (or as we like to call it around here, Extra Fluffy Tuesday), The Chinese Lunar New Year, and coming up on Sunday, The Academy Awards.

A note about the discrepancy as to whether this is the Year of the Sheep, Goat, or Ram: our friend over at Vsomethingspeaks wrote an excellent essay on just why there is no absolute agreement on this year’s designation. You can read all about it here, as well as get a new delicious sounding recipe! We stand our portrayal of the Year of the Sheep…because…um…pandas in sheep costumes, right?

Here’s our salute to Fat Tuesday!

We call it "extra Fluffy Tuesday" around here.

We call it “extra Fluffy Tuesday” around here.

Thank you for that interesting and yet wildly inaccurate history, Bob!

And here’s our nod to the Academy Awards:

What will Christopher Robin say about this?

What will Christopher Robin say about this?

After this weeks guest appearance of Richard Parker, how could we not celebrate both The Life of Pooh as well as The Life of Pie?

The Life of PIE....get it? *chortle chortle*

The Life of PIE….get it? *chortle chortle*

Have a fun filled weekend, everyone!

Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda

Salute! To the Year of the Sheep

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Once again, the panda kindergarten stages their annual Chinese New Year’s pageant, this year we salute the Year of the Sheep! I know! I know! Are you already picturing little chubby panda kindergarteners dressed up as fluffy little sheep? I know I am.

Of course, in some interpretations, it is The Year of the Ram or the Year of the Goat.

Just saying.

Look out!!!! Oh, those triplets!

Look out!!!! Oh, those triplets!

Really, there is nothing cuter than an upside down panda. Except maybe an upside down panda in a sheep costume.

Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda

More Pandas in the News

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I did promise you that I had a veritable plethora of panda tales (or was that tails?…no matter) and here is another absolutely true story which, coincidentally enough, is about pandas! Huzzah!

I swear, I can’t make this stuff up.

Today’s story is a tale of treachery, of impostor pandas, of impersonation of their black and white fluffy goodness. Is that a panda I see before me?

Apparently not.

Here’s the actual news story, so that you know I am not making this up. That includes the quote by the spokesperson for the Animal Protection Party. Just saying. Quite frankly, Mehitabel has way too many rights around my house, if you ask me.

Well, it LOOKED like a panda...

Well, it LOOKED like a panda…

Stay tuned for more true stories and the panda kindergarten’s Chinese New Year Celebration coming up next week!

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda