All I can say is, Pinky had best adjust her attitude and make peace with the smaller pandas, because the pitter patter of little paws may happen even closer to home, if you get my drift.
Triple Trouble indeed!
Meanwhile, the Panda Season of Love is in full swing, and you know what that means. Even more little pandas on the horizon. Wow.
Huzzah!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
I think it’s high time that Princess Pinky developed a little bit of responsibility, don’t you? Her mother has a job for her, but perhaps it’s not quite the one she has in mind…
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Oh No! Triple trouble for Pinky!
Well, it’s really poetic justice, isn’t it? Not that I would want to be the one to mention it to her….
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
It has come to my attention, that this week we celebrate Earth Day, a day to thank our lovely planet for being there, and could we please not mess it up any more than we already have, and maybe fix a thing or two while we are at it.
I remember the first Earth Day, because I was in high school at the time (please, do NOT do the math) and what an amazing concept it seemed at the time. Pandas, of course have been all over this from even before Earth Day was a “thing”, trying to find ways to reduce our carbonated footprints.
are you SURE it’s not “carbonated”?
well, what if I….
but…WeREndangered!
And I just wanted to send another big pandy thanks to all of my amazing supporters who have ordered stuff from my Pandyland Store, which is a way you can support Panda Satire, and get some cool stuff for around your house as well! Because, you know…
What could be more endangered than joyriding pandas NOT wearing seat belts?
Thanks for Being the Bear, and have a great weekend,
Bob T Panda!
Things have been rather quiet in San Diego of late, but is that all going to change come July or August? Time will tell, but will the great Wu Self be ready?
What would Wu do?
Some might say that Bai Yun has more than done her part in the great panda proliferation project, but she is such a wonderful panda mom, it would be lovely to see her with one more cub. I’d happily volunteer to babysit if you know, she gets tired.
You’ll hear all about it here, at The Panda Chronicles, as we listen for the pitter patter of little paws.
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
I am very sorry to tell you of a great tragedy.
Yes, that’s right. Panda Scout cookie Season is over. But it’s not too late for Fabulous Furry Friday to salute the Panda Scout Cookie Drive!
On my honor, I will try…to eat as many cookies as I possibly can….
As you may recall, the Meihem twins are Panda Scouts and have earned many merit badges for such diverse skills as cookie wrangling, sibling rivalry, and hostage taking.
What do you mean “hostage taking” doesn’t have a merit badge? They were very polite.
And who could forget the great Highway Gate incident, when …um…”someone” disrupted traffic to Zoo Cublanta, thus spoiling the sale of the Meihem’s Panda Scout cookies?
Time to call in …Inspector panda!
Don’t you wish you could read the entire Highway-gate Story? You Do? Well, you might consider getting your very own copy of The Panda Chronicles Book 5: Pandapocalypse NOW! which has this whole story and a whole lot more Pinki-tude and Meihem, for your chortling pleasure. Wasn’t that a subtle commercial? I thought so too.
Have a great weekend!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
I could hear the cries of despair from Mehitabel’s fans (and yes, she does have them) and I had no intention of letting her disappearance be permanent. So yes, the cat came back.
And so did Bob!
Despite the fact that Bob is still wearing his vacation outfit, he’s back and ready to report, observant as ever!
um…”ooopsie”?
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Look at that adorable face! Frosting wouldn’t melt in her mouth.
Will there be some consequences for Miss Pinky? Hmmmmmm… tune in next week.
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
Fabulous Furry Friday brings you more encore presentations from the Panda Season of Love! We are working on some stories in this rich and extensive vein of pure panda gold, but in the meantime, here are some of our favorites from the past!
We would like to alert you to some recent stories and articles about the …um…romantic life of pandas. First, the news of 23 year old Bai Yun reigniting the flames of love in hopes of bringing a seventh cub into the world hit the internet this week. Unfortunately, her resident stud muffin was not quite up to the job, as he has had some um…health issues of late. not that he wasn’t willing, mind you.
And for those of you who may be saying Bai Yun deserves to retire from being a cubby producing machine, let me remind you, we are not talking about an irresponsible couple of teenagers in the backseat of a car. There are veterinarians, panda researchers, and Chinese panda experts who all had to sign off on this venture before they could proceed. If Bai Yun succeeds in having a cub this year, she will be the oldest panda mom on record to do so. They know what they are doing and so does Bai Yun. Nuff said.
Now, shall we quit being serious and get back to making fun of pandas?
Yes!
It was dark…there were men in masks….
Did you HAVE to mention that? Thanks for the New Yorker Article!
Will we ever hear the pitter patter of little paws in Scotland?
Um…pass the beer and poutine, please!
Have we embarrassed pandas enough? NO! If it isn’t bad enough cartoonists are making fun of pandas, how about having to be compared to wild pandas by noted science writer and esteemed pandologist, Henry Nicholls?
Whatever will the pandas standing around the water cooler say about that?
By the way, Did you know tomorrow is National Corn Dog Day? No, me neither. Do with this information what you will.
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
OK, unlike most of what we talk about here, this is totally serious and we are not making this up! The most recent panda census results are in and the wild panda population is up, possibly by as much as 17%. This is great news, because, well…pandas!
Not that we don’t make fun of serious things like the panda census. Of course, some people (and you know who you are, bro) might point out that China’s relationship to statistics is not um…entirely unlike that of the panda kindergarten.
Do we have to count panda adoption fees?
Is it any wonder Bob has a sharp pain behind his ears?
And here is more panda fun…because…um…pandas!
Always read the directions…
And because our heads are filled with thoughts of cuppycakes….
I smell frosting!
And because it’s that time of year….
Will Bob ever learn? will Mehitabel ever get the better of the panda kindergarten?
Let’s put pandas to work!
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
We proudly support Pandas International, because without pandas, there could be no panda satire!
You didn’t think we would just abandon Bob without resolving his attempt to revise history, claiming he was the unsung hero of Pinky’s infamous “Occupy Hemlock” sit-in, did you?
You did?
Ha!
We leave no journalistic follies unheralded, especially not those of Bob T. Panda! Did you miss Sunday’s episode? You can read it here.
And look who Bob’s suspension replacement is! Huzzah!
Huzzah! It is her own Princess self, Princess Pinky! Will Mehitabel come to regret this choice?
What do you think?
Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda
Panda Satire fans should be reassured, that like many fictional characters, (I, as the omniscient narrator and manipulator of my imaginary panda universe have decreed,) Princess Pinky will remain a willful, out of control, delightful toddler in these pages. Well, I might let her age a little bit, but the best jokes are (for the moment, at least) predicated on her cubbyhood status.
DC panda fans have occasionally pointed out that there is a mouse or two that shares the panda habitat, and they have named him “Larry.” What better advisor could Pinky have as she transitions to her big girl life? Her own Jiminy Cricket, so to speak.
What could be better than a bear and her mouse?
Children’s literature is full of characters that won’t grow up, Peter Pan being the most famous. Why should Pinky be any different?
If you missed it on Sunday, I hope you’ll hop over to Inspokes to read my interview about Pandamorphosis. There be Pandas, indeed!
Be the Bear!
Bob T. Panda
Don’t forget! Friday is International Polar Bear Day! Join us as we present encore presentations of our polar bear collection!