Tag Archives: zoonooz

Pandas are not Solitary

Contrary to the conventional wisdom, pandas are not solitary animals, as scientists would have us believe. In fact many of them are on social media, with a veritable flood of them on Twitter! Princess Pinky has her own page, and Bubba has several. Recently Pinky and Bubba’s parents have gotten into the act, probably to make sure Pinky was not up to anything she shouldn’t be. I…ahem…heard that Inspector Panda has an account, but he forgot his password and hasn’t been able to find it.

Just a couple of days ago, a photograph of Canada’s new Prime Minister has hit the inter webs, …wait for it…with the extremely adorable Toronto panda twins on his lap. New Yorker writer Andy Borowitz has pointed out the dangers of allowing this photo to be publicized. Will Americans who chose to flee a potentially repressive regime come the November elections, be given a false sense of what Canada has to offer? (Free pandas for everyone!!!!!) And will we all have to take up the sport of curling?

Could all these Twitter accounts be real, with pandas pounding the keys of their laptops as they while away the hours behind the scenes? Or is something more sinister going on?

But they're so cute!

But they’re so cute!

To tell the truth, I did not know what a “sock puppet” account was, until recently. But wouldn’t it be fun, if they really did have to make puppets to use them?

Be the Bear!
Bob T Panda

The Toronto Panda Twins Endorse…

Rumors are flying around the headquarters of The Institute for Contemporary Panda Satire! Will Bob T concede the election? Does Princess Pinky have something up her sleeve? Will Bubba ever get Pinky to quit calling him “Boo Boo”? But the big news is that the Toronto Panda Twins are making their public debut on March 12! And they have made their decision as to whom to support in their neighbor nation to the south’s race to the top…

Be the bear, eh?

Be the bear, eh?

I don’t know why they don’t want to support a mature panda with lots of experience…um…doing stuff, but there you have it. If you planning on visiting the Toronto Twinkies, please send pictures to us here. and maybe you could give them a Why Not Vote 4 Bob flag. Just saying.

Be the Bear

Fabulous Furry Friday

This week, Fabulous Furry Friday looks at…(you know we had to do this, didn’t you?) The 2016 Election Season. Well, actually, it’s more like the 2012 election season that we are looking back on, since a certain candidate, who we will refer to as He Who Must Not Be Named, (or HWMNBN) was throwing verbal rocks at the previous failed Republican presidential candidate, calling him a loser and disgrace.

Now, I am no fan of the former Republican candidate, but he deserves respect, particularly from someone who wants to hold the office under consideration. (So does our current President, if you want my opinion.) Can’t we play nice, please? Pretty panda please?

Is it really all black and white?

Is it really all black and white?

Cats....you just can't trust em.

Cats….you just can’t trust em. Remember Mittens?

Keep cool, cat, and don't go blaming women for stuff. That is SO not the way to get votes...

Keep cool, cat, and don’t go blaming women for stuff. That is SO not the way to get votes…

And if debating with Mittens wasn’t bad enough, now Bob is facing Pinky in the primary fight of his life. The soul of the Panda Party is at stake!

What could Pinky be up to...?

What could Pinky be up to…?

Don't mess with Pinky.

Don’t mess with Pinky.

…and I real have to talk with my media team, because I don’t have a video yet, and Pinky’s has been shown all over the world!

Be the Bear and have a fabulous weekend!
Bob T Panda

Kung Fu Panda revisited

Oh me, oh my, Friday night I went to see Kung Fu Panda 3 and the bears did not disappoint! If you haven’t seen the movie yet, (and I strongly urge you to go right this minute) and you don’t want to read any spoilers, I suggest you skip this section and head on down to today’s ‘toon, so I don’t ruin the experience for you.

I have to admit, I was a fledgling Pandaholic when the first Kung Fu Panda movie came out, and to put it mildly, I was skeptical, if not downright dismissive of the idea. Then I went to see it and all I can say is WOW! Goofy, but lovable Panda Po aside, the movie is a visual treat and movie 3 was no exception.

The film team even visited the panda kindergarten and went to the Chimelong Panda reserve to meet the worlds first surviving panda triplets, Mengmeng, Shuaishuai and Kuku (also known as Pinky’s minions) and gave them a cameo role in the movie.

Po travels to his long lost, unremembered home with his real panda dad to gain the vital panda knowledge needed to fight this movies’ supremely evil villain, and in the process discovers his roots and a whole lot of (wait for it) adorable baby pandas, not to mention a female panda that appears to have studied at Babette de Panda’s charm academy for young pandas ladies.

I laughed, I cried, I gasped with amazement. I can’t end this review without mentioning the incredible lushness and visual excitement of this movie. As a fine artist (besides being a panda satirist) I love movies that capitalize on relevant art styles and references. Nods to traditional Chinese painting and calligraphy, not to mention amazing color combinations and dynamic compositions make this movie an aesthetic, as well as a pandarific experience. If you can see it on a big screen, do it. Do it now.

And now, on with our Sunday feature ‘toon…

Huzzah! Pandas save the day!

Huzzah! Pandas save the day!

Hope you enjoyed today’s cartoon, and do go see Kung Fu Panda 3. Heck. see all of them again! I know that I will! and I bet Po will get an Oscar tonight for best panda in a dramatic role, don’t you think?

Be the Bear!
Bob T Panda

Could this be why Pinky did not rock the Iowa Caucus

For some strange reason, I have not been able to get any information about how Princess Pinky did at the Iowa Caucus. I was not able to be there myself, as none of my five three supporters live in Iowa, so I decided to save the bus fare.

But perhaps the lack of results from the Iowa Caucus for Princess Pinky had something to do with this…

...of course Boo-mints are pretty good too.

…of course Boo-mints are pretty good too.

Inspector panda

Will the twins get a merit badge for their road trip? will Lun Lun fess up to where the girls are? will Inspector Panda get a clue, or at least more twitter followers. Stay tuned!

Bao Bao, washington DC cover-up

Oh, Pinky…what have you done?

Howdy, Mr Kitty, kindly tell us where a tired old cowpoke can get a boo beer and a cuppycake.

Howdy, Mr Kitty, kindly tell us where a tired old cowpoke can get a boo beer and a cuppycake.

enquiring minds want to know....

Looks like Pinky and the Meihems have made up and joined forces with the pandy kindy!

If you missed the earlier episodes of The Great Highwaygate Scandal, you can find them here, or in your very own copy of The Panda Chronicles Book 5: Pandapocalypse NOW!

See you on Sunday with a brand new episode of something or other!

Be the Bear!
BobT Panda

What do you mean by “um”?

A faithful reader, (okay, well, it was my brother,) suggested that I remind people just what WOOZPPAH stands for. So here I go: WOOZPPAH stands for WOOdlandpark Zoo Project PandaH… and I know, I know..there is no “H” at the end of ‘Panda’ but it seemed more festive with an ‘H’ at the end.  Kind of like ” There is no ‘R’ in Washington,” as my friend Sandy Bradley always used to say on the old Potluck Show on Saturday mornings in a Wallingford tavern.

But, being that the word WOOZPPAH is kind of obscure, and you have to explain it every time you use it, we need a zippy hashtag so that our movement to bring pandas to Washington State, (or even better, Seattle, or even better than that, Whidbey Island, which while it doesn’t have a zoo, it does have any number of properties with out of control bamboo growing on them.)

If you’re just tuning in, check out our other ‘toons about WOOZPPAH here! And here!

let me call you sweetheart...

We promise we’ll clean up after them and EVERYTHING! It won’t be like the thing with the goldfish, honest!

So put your thinking cap on and come up with some really good hastags for our campaign to bring pandas to Washington State. This is really, really important, because…um,,, well you are just going to have to take my word for it! It just is!

Tune in on Friday for more from the Princess Pinky Bridgegate scandal! Maybe she will have news about how she did at the Iowa Caucuses!

Be the Bear,
Bob T Panda

Woozppah Again!

Surely you don’t think that now that there is even the faintest hope of Pandas to the Other Washington, that we would ever let this subject drop.

Never!

And by the way, while we have had …um…one  (well three, but all by the same person) entry into our #FindAHashtag contest, we are hoping for a more enthusiastic response. Anyone? To refresh your memory, we need a Twitter hashtag for the WOOZPPAH movement, to bring pandas to Seattle. There’s a prize for the winning entry!

Meanwhile, the Eastern states (that already have pandas) are thawing out a bit and visitors are returning to the Pinksonian Zoo to visit Bubba, Pinky, and their parents. Many people hoped that papa bear Tian Tian would do a reprise of his snow fun video, but he turned his back to the crowd of cameras and reporters and …um…had a little snack. Hey! He’s a panda, and he’s a guy panda. Nothing gets between a guy panda and his snack, OKAY?????

Meanwhile, here is the latest from Woozppah!

If only we could have just a couple of pandas....

If only we could have just a couple of pandas….

It will be so much fun to have pandas in Washington State! And if anyone knows how to contact the Washington State Panda Foundation, drop us a comment okay? Panda satire thrives on pandas, you know. And…um…cuppycakes, but that is another matter!

See you later this week for more from WOOZPPAH, and more on Fabulous Furry Friday about the Highwaygate Scandal.

Be the Bear,
Bob T. Panda

Hearings for Bridgegate Announced

In honor of the recent news that there will be new hearings for the New Jersey Bridgegate Scandal scheduled for sometime in February, I thought, what more appropriate subject could there be for this week’s Fabulous Furry Friday, than the National Zoo Highway Gate Scandals of 2014… Remember?

George Washington Bridge lane closure satire.

Princess Pinky Bao Bao…what have you done now?

zoo atlanta, bao bao, national zoo

Time to call in …Inspector panda!

Mei xiang and bao bao try to cover up highway-gate

Inspector Panda is on the job!

"Hello, Bai Yun? this is Lun Lun...about that detective you suggested..."

“Hello, Bai Yun? this is Lun Lun…about that detective you suggested…”

Tune in next Friday to see the conclusion to this exciting story…or, if you can’t wait that long, you can find the whole story in The Panda Chronicles Book 5: Pandapocalypse NOW!

Until we meet again…
Be the Bear!
Bob T Panda

The Cute-o-Meter

The other evening, I was sitting around regaling my friend, Mr. Badger about Bubba’s debut at the National Zoo and he asked if Bubba broke the Cute-o-Meter which of course gave me the idea for todays’s ‘toon.

All kidding aside, Bubba has been wowing his fans in the Panda House and in the media around the world ever since he first stepped on the stage last week. He was recently the subject of this article in the New Yorker, by Robin Wright. I’m telling you people, panda fans are everywhere!

Meanwhile, it remains to be seen just who broke the Cute-o-Meter.

See? I told you it was broken!

See? I told you it was broken!

And back at the 2016 Presidential race, it seems that Pinky has been given yet another assist from one of her loyal fans who took Pinky on a White House  tour, introduced her to the Secret Service, and allowed Pinky to take measurements for curtains and furniture. I wouldn’t be surprised if Pinky didn’t make a visit to the White House kitchen to see what kind of bamboo they keep in stock. (Answer: none!)

The following photographs have been leaked by our intrepid Washington DC correspondent!

Is Pinky headed for an off limits area of the white House?

Is Pinky headed for an off limits area of the white House?

Could this be Pinky's future office?

Could this be Pinky’s future office?

I do not have a good feeling about this....

I do not have a good feeling about this….

Many thanks to intrepid correspondent, Anna Lisa, who shared her trip to the White House with Pinky, and her pictures with us!

Now if I could just get ahead in the polls…..

Till next time,
Be the Bear
Bob T. Panda!

 

And Speaking of Baby Pandas…

What? Weren’t we speaking of baby pandas…? Well, with all these incredibly cute pictures of the adorable baby Bubba (aka Bei Bei) at the national Zoo this week, it is most difficult NOT to have baby pandas on the brain.

THIS is your brain on pandas. Any questions?

THIS is your brain on pandas. Any questions?

If there was a cute-o-meter installed at the exit to the panda house at The National Zoo in Washington DC, it would have broken under the strain of so much cuteness.

But Bubba is not the only American Panda to have ever trod the trail towards the bright lights of stardom. This week, Fabulous Furry Friday brings you highlights of some of our other favorite panda cubs!

"Howdy do! I'm Mr. Wu! Who are you?"

“Howdy do! I’m Mr. Wu! Who are you?”

For some reason, panda cubs are fascinated by fallen leaves…

"Wu calls his dance, 'Ode to a Weaf' "

“Wu calls his dance, ‘Ode to a Weaf’ “

And Pinky became her…um…pinkitudinal self very early…

Such a little darling! How could her big brother resist spoiling her?

Such a little darling! How could her big brother resist spoiling her?

And then there was the gender reclassification of the Meihem twins of Cublanta…

downloadable paper panda upgrade

downloadable paper panda upgrade

school uniforms for pandas

Ready for panda kindergarten!

So remember to check in with us on Sunday, when we bring you live coverage of Bubba’s debut to the public, which will actually be occurring the day before. Okay, okay, so it’s really not live. What can I say? We are a low budget operation here.

Keep being the bear, and buy stuff with pandas on it!
Bob T Panda